July 5, 2007

  • The Church and I: Gifted People Go Away

    First, a quick summary of giftedness; I am talking about above-average attributes of people such as intelligence, athleticism, physical attractiveness, social attractiveness (i.e. good at speaking to people 1-1 or in small groups), and creativity. The title of the blog refers to both a problem and a request, heh. Let me explain below.

    I am concerned about how many gifted people leave the church after growing up inside its doors. If I look around most churches (harsh truth alert!), I am completely unimpressed by the giftedness of my fellow 20-somethings. Now that you know I'm a jerk (as opposed to suspecting it), let's move on. Really, why do so many gifted people who were happy to be in church when they are 16 leave the church by 26? Is it the church itself to blame, or the gifted people themselves? For once, I'm taking the side of the church (I recently realized this series could be titled "The Church VERSUS I", ha, based on the last few posts).

    Some interesting evidence is found in I Corinthians chapter 1, which states that not many wise, noble, or mighty people are called to the faith. I think there are two reasons for this. One, God delights in the humble, and people with gifts aren't usually that humble. Similarly, people with gifts don't have as many needs (at least outwardly), and so they are less likely to turn to God in response to a crisis or the truth.

    While I am disappointed that the church is not filled with people who share my gift of overwhelming hotness (that and the gift of an inflated ego, uncontrollable lying, and delusions of grandeur :-p), frankly, I think gifted people are not patient enough with the church. There's too much of "I AM A GIFTED SINGER, AND I SHOULD SING EVERY SUNDAY!" going on. Look, I consider myself a decent teacher and speaker. And for the last 3 years, I've done none of that. But it's been good for me in some ways to rest and grow and not use my gift. It's ok if I'm not giving a brilliant talk on Haggai (you should hear it sometime ). I've found other ways to serve people. This blog has fueled a major realization in my life that I am a creative person too, and that I should grow and nurture that part of my personality. And for 24-ish years, I never really did, until by various circumstances I was forced to explore myself and my skills further.

    In addition, the church too often lets gifted people slide by despite major problem areas in their lives. For example (yeah, sorry, I'm my own example for everything today), lately, I've been less than impressed with my relationship with God. But because I know a lot of Bible verses and can say the right things, people around me don't know that I haven't been reading my Bible the way I should. The church is afraid to confront its gifted people lest they leave, or hold accountable brilliant, eloquent pastors with moral failings. You know what I have to say to that? Go! Seriously, gifted people, get out, and don't come back until you are humbled and want to live the right way! Those of us with any gifts at all need to slap ourselves upside the face and get over our gifts once in a while. It's the only way we can do the church any good, AND the only way church can do us any good.

Comments (12)

  • Sorry, I'll try to be more hot like you.... ;P

  • Oh, for the record, readers who don't know my fam should know that I am the ugliest of my siblings, so I more than deserve his sticky-tongue, ha.

  • hmmmm sometimes i think that because people who are extraordinarily talented or good looking are more accepted by the world, they are more likely to leave the church because they have welcoming arms outside of it. but people who are extremely socially awkward, or very unattractive, or overall mediocre are often rejected by a lot of people but are welcomed into the church. maybe people who are like this come to Christ BECAUSE they have nowhere else to go. but as one of my friends once stated, if pride and popularity are what have been keeping people from the living God... then thank you Lord for making me a dork.

  • awe :) thanks. you post really thought-provoking things, it's great :) and i'm so surprised that you  made it all the way through my long post! we're excited to come home, we return on Monday :) yay! :) have a great evening :)

  • i think you are completely right. often churches will sacrifice habitual sin for someone to fill the room with songs. Not that it doesn't happen in the area of the pulpit, but most often in the worship leader areas.

    As long as the church wants the pied pipers and to be entertained and have their ears tickled, we will continue to accept sin, and not make a plummet line for righteousness.

    and it's very interesting that you are so honest about the scripture reading. One of my dearest friends, a mighty woman of God :) , recently struggled with some HUGE things, but she was still ministering. NOT one person has truly taken the time to be a sister or brother in Christ, and really ask how she's doing. So when we finally talked, after she told me what happened, i said, "so are you reading your Bible?", "how are you combating these things with the Word of God?"

    and her response was, wow, Jess, i haven't, i need friends like you! But really, that shouldn't be a big deal. why are we okay with the sloppiness of our faith, and our lack of faithfulness!????

  • Really good post, Mr. Physique. I've often thought of this tension re: the gifted in the church and Paul's notes in 1 Corinthians. It hadn't occurred to me that often young people leave because they're gifted.

    And the challenge re: churches letting faithful people slide is tough. I think our church is generally one of the tougher ones in that regard, but I know that we do the same thing, although I'm not sure it's for those motives. Then again, maybe it is so that's something I shall consider.

    And Haggai may be my favorite book in the Bible. I'd like to hear your take on it sometime. His reproach seems apt in light of your post -- "Thus saith the Lord of Hosts, consider your ways!"

  • Surprise for the day:

    I don't agree with your reading of I Cor. 1. I don't think a point is being made about who is in church, but about how inclusive the spirit is.

    If you read earlier in the chapter, where Paul talks about the devisions in Chloe's house, he is addressing the body as divided as to who they trace their belief to, as though it mattered who baptized them, not the spirit in which they were baptized.

    One man is not better than another, one woman's spiritual heritage does not give her more currency before God. If God were concerned about our past, about how wise we were, then we would all be in trouble. Paul wants to emphasize how great God is in his calling to us, that not one of us can be considered wise and therefore God's grace in calling us to him is that much greater.

    As for the gifts, I find that God uses each of us to his glory. If we are meant to take a year off, super. If we are to step up and fill in where we are needed, he'll give us that call. So long as we remember where our gifts come from and thank the Lord and serve him with them, we do not have to worry about leaving the church to use these gifts or to feel useless when God is using a time of rest to teach someone something about serving him.

    And I hear you on the hotness. It's certainly one of our most important spiritual gifts. *ehrm* I'll have to address the presence of attractiveness on your list of gifts in another comment or post.

  • All kinds of ideas rush around as a result of reading this: Congratulations, You have hit a nerve! ;)

    Nothing was said about serving. Gifts are meant for service. They aren't show-stopping, standing ovation, encore-demanding entertainment. At least they aren't supposed to be! I read somewhere that our problem today is that we worship our work, work at our play, and play with our worship. (Wish I knew who said that so I could credit them.) IF the attitude toward a gift is proper, it makes a difference. Our society is utterly saturated with entertainment, and it is all I can do not to succumb more than I already have.

    It also makes a difference to realize that some giftings are natural, such as physiques, or an exceptional ear for music, way with words, etc. But Paul says that to every one a gift has been given, so that ALL are gifted-- even the dorkiest Mr. Bean who wipes his snot on the lining of his coat pocket. These are spiritual giftings, supernatural, not natural. Most churches are oblivious to them.

    As for major deficits of character that gifted people have, they are also graciously allowed by God to be opportunities for others to minister to them, so that one's weakness is another's strength and vice versa. This requires fellowship and acquaintance beyond casual politeness. I could go on, but it's getting late.

  • LOL people, people, I'm not saying that attractiveness is a SPIRITUAL gift (although I understand that looking at my ugly mug too long has caused blindness in three states, ha). Look at my definition of giftedness in the first paragraph or two; I'm not talking about spiritual gifts at all. That's part of my point, actually; there's a big difference between worldly gifts and spiritual gifts, and we don't necessarily want/need to display people's worldly gifts in the church just for the sake of show.

    Dances_in_chucks, if you're a dork, I want to be one too. You're a kind person, and I appreciate that about you. Very good points

    Sunshine, same for you. Wow, you are so right about us compromising on the faith. It's like, "Hey, as long as they are coming to church, everything's ok, don't want to offend them by asking questions." No, no, no. We need to care enough to ask sometimes.

    SpiderDad, we are definitely having a talk about Haggai sometime as soon as I find my old notes, ha. Glad to see someone else appreciates that book.

    Galumph disagree with me?! the shock! Sometimes I wonder if our disagreements are North Europe vs. South Europe, ha. But anyway, I think that you are right about I Corinthians chapter 1, but so am I; that Paul is making the point that none of us have anything to boast about before God, but part of that is reminding the believers that even by worldly standards, not many of them were talented. Now, once we come to Christ...OH! the gifts he can bestow on us. So I didn't mean to say that wise people aren't Christians; how then can Paul tell the Corinthians in the same book (chapter 6) to appoint wise men as judges? And good point about using gifts for God's glory.

    Poet4god, great point about gifted people needing not so gifted people. For some time I have let myself be deceived that the ideal mate is the talented mate; i.e. that they should be as gifted as possible. But since when is the most gifted person the most loveable? the most kind? the most God-serving?! Not too often. And part of the problem for the church is that we try to turn worldly giftings, the type I mentioned, into spiritual giftings. I think, for example, of the gifted Christian athlete; they may have zero spiritual gifts, though, except for the gift of helps to do manual labor for people in the church.

  • I have nothing to add to your eloquent post (don't go getting a big head about it), so I'll just leave some eprops. :)

  • I have nothing to add either, but I just thought I would inform you: the time capsule idea was awesome, but since I was lacking the resources (time, a shovel), I decided to open up another can of green beans (not THE can), dump them into a container, and leave them in the lab fridge with Chris's name in big, black permanent marker, plus "All green beans must come to an end." I brought THE can to Alabama with me, and I'm going to mail it to him. He'll never see it coming! :)

  • Interesting topic, John.

    I agree that gifted people whose lives aren't reflecting Christ are often allowed to utilize their gifts just to make the program look better. An example of this would be when Todd and I were leading worship at our old church... Our regular drummer was going to be having wrist surgery, and another guy in the church offered to play. Problem was, this man was having severe marital issues with his wife, and to be very honest his demeanor toward me and other women made me very uncomfortable. I suppose you could call him a backslidden Christian, if you accept the notion of backsliding. So we said no, we'd manage. I did not feel it would be right to have someone up there who was not worshiping, just so we could have a nice beat going.

    I wonder if the problem has more facets than just the ones that have been discussed so far... that if "gifted people," by which I am guessing you mean primarily artsy types, simply have more problems committing than people who don't have that supposed artistic temperament. Art can be an endless search for something new, something different. I wonder if that mentality can spill over to church involvement?

    I do know a man who left a church and later said that in that fellowship he had been "a big fish in a little pond." Hmm. Seems a little too focused on his own abilities, rather on the service he could render to the little fish of the pond.

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