June 3, 2008

  • State of the Xanga Inquiry

    Hi folks. So I am trying to decide what to do with this blog, and I decided to get a little feedback. My blogging goals are threefold: (1) to learn more about myself by typing out what I think, (2) to learn more from others by reading their life experiences and teachings on here, and (3) to make good on-line friendships via blogging. However, in the last 6 months about 10 of my best Xanga friends (and I counted) have either left Xanga altogether, become very busy due to marriage/school, or otherwise become unavailable. This makes goals 2 and 3 hard to reach. Also, I've written so much by now, that I do feel I understand myself much better than I did 4 years ago, when I started here. Finally, antisoccermom's post about how no one cares about bloggers was all too real to me. I feel like I end up giving too much of myself in Xanga relationships that aren't really relationships. I don't mind doing it to some extent, but it wears me down too much.

    I'm faced with the following options:

    1. Rebuild my readership, make new friends, and keep posting on everything. I've done this a couple times on Xanga as old friends faded, but I'm becoming weary of the cycle.

    2. Become a specialist blogger and only post on Christian topics. I admit, the new revelife.com channel looks really good, and it's been a while since I've posted something overtly Christian, so I have lots of topics saved up. However, it would also take some time to get established over there, and I'd leave lots of friends behind here to do so.

    3. Become a specialist blogger and only post on love/relationship topics. The Xanga Team is looking for someone to post on love/relationship adventures. Although I never saw this as my area of expertise when I started blogging (or even today, when I look at the fraud that is my dating life :-p), people on Xanga have been very receptive to my relationship posts. Same problem as option 2, however.

    4. Go on Friends Lock and just turn this into a personal blog with what friends remain. Then when they all leave, I will just keep my posts in storage. This would give me more privacy, which is important as I change jobs. But what about if I find new interesting people? I suppose I could buy premium and then use the unlimited protected list as well.

    5. Quit. As of August, shut down this blog, or lock it up forever by protecting all posts. I'd miss you all terribly, but it'd free up more time to make deeper friendships in real life. And since I'll be moving yet again, a new start might be just what I need.

    So, I WILL make the decision here, let there be no doubt about that! But I would like your input on what you think might be best. Cheers, GP.

Comments (32)

  • Pray about it and see what answer comes....it will likely take time, but God will lead you, in many different ways, to the best conclusion.   I for one hope it's not to leave, but hey gotta go with God's flow.

    Lonnie

  • Option 2 would be beneficial to everybody, yourself included. Option 4 would probably work out best in the long run, once you got past the quitters remorse (which can really tear you apart if you let it). I'll always be here. I'm not really here for the same reasons you are, I guess. I'm just here because I sometimes have an extreme urge to write about something I'm super passionate about, and knowing that it'll be available for public discussion, rather than go to waste in a notebook that'll just end up stuffed in my closet for years, keeps me writing. Plus there's a lot of cool people on here (like you, for instance) who are also really good writers, and I like to read their stuff and comment, too. In the end, it's up to you. If you stay, great, if you go, I'm sure we'll all get over it sooner or later.

  • would you want to have a job like 'dear abby'? i think that's the question you have to answer before you decide to become a specialist blogger on relationships. i'd vote for friends lock, but that's a selfish vote for my continued friendship with you.

    really, blogging is becoming somewhat outmoded for me as well. i'm doing so much serious writing now that isn't appropriate to post. it's hard to motivate myself to write an additional piece for my site. so maybe i'm counseling you in the direction i see myself headed... just sharing more personal reflections with the occasional well-written rant thrown in for good measure.

  • Blogging isn't something I do for other people; I do it for myself.  I share with other people as a cathartic way of speaking through my life.  Plus, added bonus; it chronicles my walk, it lets me look from point A from point D and see how I got there.  If your purpose here is just to get readers I'd say to simply quit.  However, if you're here just to have a place for artistic expression...and you don't care what others think; then perhaps it'll remove some of the stress you are experiencing.

  • I think you have to do what makes you happiest. I would say think about it hard and the answer will come to you. What do you want out of blogging? What does it do for you? Does it make you happy?

  • I think you should do whatever you want to do with your own blog. You have to take an inside look at what you want with your blog. I would say that becoming a specialist blogger of any sort would probably really boost your readership, but you have to review whether that is something you really want. It would be a bit of a job to maintain a specialty blog.

    I don't really see the purpose of going on Friends Lock. Your readership will likely dwindle to a few stalwarts. Even with bloggers I consider myself online friends with, the relationship is contingent on me continuing to blog and comment pretty regularly and being seen. Instant distance is created when I get a bit busier in my life andI don't have as much time to spend on Xanga. That's just the reality of being online: it's an immediate and constant thing. You could have a personal blog with Friends Lock on or off. Friends lock would just discourage new readers. Once again review: is shutting yourself off something you want to do?

    My blog is basically a personal blog, but more like a journal type where I talk about whatever strikes my fancy, rather than having a specialist blog (which I have tried but it became too confining for me). I have 2 layers as you know: a public part where I discuss whatever crosses my mind, and a private part where I talk about my life. I have found that people tend to come and go, and it's a bit sad because I can't get as close to people online as I would like and as close as others seem to get to each other. Other xangans meet up, or talk on Skype, or IM regularly - for some reason, I can't get that going on a regular basis with xangans at all. It does have something to do with how much effort you put into your online relationships, but a measure of luck and chemistry does come into it. Whatever you do, I'm sure it will be swell.

  • Do what you will, but remember the most important thing:

    Fight commies with your bear cavalry as often as possible.

    http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f179/pjanosko/bear_cavalry.jpg

  • I've only been on Xanga for 9 months, but there still seems to be a pretty dense core of bloggers who still stick around -- especially those of us who write professionally, semi-professionally, or want to. It's all a matter of commitment. "Friends Lock" doesn't work very well, for the very simple reason that as soon as you do it, everyone wants to be added as a friend, only to read just one or two posts. And specializing doesn't work very well for casual bloggers, whose postings tend to include a wide variety of life experiences. You don't want to lock yourself into a blog on dating, only to find that the only ideas you can come up with involve theoretical physics or vegetarian ethics.

    Although, personally, I think that a combination of Christianity and relational entries would be wonderful; Christian dating with 32 AD ethics in the twenty-first century, what works and what doesn't, how to be an uncompromising single Christian, finding a Christian partner, etc.

  • Quit. we don't want you.

    no I see your quandry. I dropped off the face of xanga for a while. many good xangans have and never returned. the friend who made me sign up for xanga no longer blogs here. my readership from 6 years ago is not even close to my subs today. but the thing is, I blog selfishly. I blog for me. it's catharsis, it's my chance to be a  writer, to geek on the english language. lots of things. your reasons for blogging are great, and xanga is great, but you are a good writer with good thoughts to share - keep doing it.

  • Use your blog recreationally. If it isn't fun and you're not getting paid for it, why do it? Your idea of recreation may be different from mine, but that's what cool about it. You can do whatever you want.

    You could just take a sabbatical from blogging and think about it some more — or not think about it. Maybe after some time away you would have a clearer picture of the things you love and don't love about your blog.

    I got the letter the other day, many thanks! Let me know what happens.

  • The real world is a pretty cool place, and real life friends are important, and making an effort to find those when you move to a new place is important. As you may have noticed, I'm writing less and less for public readership, though I still write a lot of private posts, but I will still miss you when and if you go.

    I'd advise not shutting it down completely yet. There is more probability for regret there. I'd say just let it play itself out. Write when you feel like writing about what you feel like writing about. Don't force it or force yourself to make it work or not work. If you want more privacy, protect your old posts.

    I hope whatever you decide works well for you. I've enjoyed our online friendship these past years - for whatever it's worth, you've been a nice constant in my life and helped me through some tough times. Don't lose touch completely! :)

  • Since zombies have taken over the world, it has become increasingly difficult to take time to blog. le sigh

    #5--If Xanga is so stressful to you, maybe you do need a break. Your blog is one of two blogs written by people I don't know personally that I read.

  • I actually enjoy reading a lot of what you write.  However, for me the simple answer is this.  If I like what you read, I try to comment, and if I am not interested in the topic, or can't think of anything to say, I don't comment.

    There are lots of people out there on Xanga who would add great things in the comment section and friends section of your site.  However, if you are not willing to work on building up new friendships you won't get them.  The internet has an certain ebb and flow for people coming and going to certain things.  People leave, people come back.  It's a constant state of flux, so buddy *pokes you in the chest* if you want new friends, you have to give what you get. ;)

  • Whatever you do, DO NOT take option 5.  I don't like that one.  Your little series on internet celebs and impersonators was great!  I think you should try your hand at the relationship blog... you have an interesting and humorous way of writing that people can relate to.  Just don't leave!

  • 1.

  • I vote 1 or 2. I would miss your writing if you go.  ~ L

  • It's entirely up to you. It's your blog and you can quit if you want to! But I would also miss your writing if you did decide to stop. I think that I would vote for option 1 or 2.

  • Do what feels right. I blog for me- helps me think and gives me something to do. I also quit for 2 years, but I recently got back on- I needed a way to sort out my thoughts, to rant, to do whatever. If you stay, do something that you want to do. Your readers might enjoy your posts. If you go, you can always come back :)

  • I don't think you should do friends lock...but if you do, can you keep my xanga as one of your friends (the difference would be me having to sign in to see your blog vs. just clicking over from my new blog.  

    I may have a proposition for you...stay tuned!

  • I'm just passing through, but I can relate to your post...a lot of my xanga friends have stopped posting. I say do what makes you happy.

  • Them revelife folks creep me out sometimes.

  • I also say pray.  But secretly I say, "DON'T GO!!!!!!!!!!!"

    I guess that wasn't so subtle.  I hear you on losing your old standby readers.  When I was at blogger, I had a good handful or two of regular commenters who were also consistent bloggers.  While at blogger for those two years, most of my readers stopped updating.  They became too busy with life.  So I moved to wordpress and met a bunch of really great new readers.  I hope it lasts.

    Now let me say that I've maintained some of the most amazing relationships with people I've met through my blog or theirs, relationships that rival those I have in every day life.  But it can become terribly hard to keep up with your blog or others when life is moving at the speed of sound, so I understand (remember, I am the person who is like 10 blogs behind on your xanga, seriously).

    Good luck with your decision.

  • hmm. i cannot remember at the moment if this was a specific number option that you listed or not, but...i would say keep writing--i like reading them. i like the controvercial ones. love always is, dating is, oh heck, in the end, basically everything is...but...i dunno...maybe throw your thoughts out there and if people comment, yea! and if they don't, oh well. because more people read than you think...just don't respond because then you have to push all these extra buttons...doesn't mean they don't care, just means they are lazy (spoken as one lazy one). i guess i am a fatalist about online relationships and think they can only go so far and so in the end, i turn off the computer and focus on those real people in touching distance. but...whatever works for you. good luck.

  • i think you're interesting :)
    and i will read what you write and stay your friend... haha, that sounds so childish.

    bless you.

  • I write because I must.

    I've been blogging since 2000. I have primarily a "public" blog and then a more personal "stream-of-consciousness rambling" blog, which is the one I update more frequently. I have gone through periods of moving from one server to another or one format to another or taking a month or more off here and there but in the end, I always, always come back to it. (WordPress is my current favorite...love the ease of use.)

    I love to engage with people but I write primarily because I must write. If anyone happens to stumble across my words, questions, ideas and want to engage, so be it; I love connecting with others, but I write primarily to sort through things, capture ideas, impressions, or feelings and to keep a record of my journey with God. When I start to accrue readers, I also write to spark thought. I write for a myriad of reasons, but mostly I write because it's like breathing to me.

    I cannot not do it.
    I've tried. ;)

    So...do what you desire to do while using discernment and wisdom.
    I've enjoyed what you've had to share since discovering your blog, but if you want to go private, do what's best for you. =)

  • Your problem? well i don't see it. If you read my comment on theantisoccermons post what she said really is not true. If you cultivate surface relationships, yes you will not be missed when you leave. If I left I would not be missed. But my cousin's blog had people wondering about him a year after he stopped using it. He developed close relationships. Ones were he seemed to care about those he communicated with. And they still miss him, two years latter. And he only had 30 readers to my 300 hundred. But I not that close to anyone, while he was.

  • @Such_Were_You - Yeah, I'm trying to pray about it today especially.

    @vwagenjetta - See, the funny part is, I've never really been one to need to write out my feelings. Oh, I've dabbled in diaries when interesting things were happening fast and furious in my life, but it's more about the interaction with people for me. That's why I have a dilemma now--if it were just about the writing giving me joy, I'd never leave Xanga.

    @theotica - You may be right, I've noticed your change in direction as well.

    @couldquitepossiblybeme - It makes me happy, but it makes me oddly dependent on it. I don't want my self-esteem to rest on whether a post gets 5 or 10 comments.

    @squeakysoul - Good points; I've realized a specialty blog would up my hits, but I also know it would bring more negative commenters. I like that although my commenters are not so many as I could get, most are thoughtful and good people.

    @another_rebel_without_a_cause - haha

    @GermanWrench - Yes, that's what I've been wondering--is there some way I can combine my interests? A lot of so-called Christian analysis of dating can be rather dry, and I'd love to spice it up with my silly perspective.

  • @wisewoman83 - I may take a sabbatical this month--doing that has helped me in the past.

    @aliveuntouchable - If I had more friends/readers like you, I wouldn't be considering shutting down I've enjoyed helping you over the years, because you are a generous person more than worthy of help and encouragement.

    @jalixx3 - Ha, I've recruited so many strangers here over the years, it's not even funny. I think I'm down to 2? 3? Xangans that I've met in person?

    @Southernlass - Ha, I know, I can get all the readers I want if I'd just work more comment sections. But I've done that enough times to get bored with it...and I'm running out of people in my age group on Xanga (24-28-ish) that I find interesting.

    @CcloudsM - I'll try not to I wish you could write more, btw, but I understand that it's hard when Xanga is blocked at work.

    @sunflower2457 - Thanks. Can you try to write more too, pretty please? You are one of the 10 I mentioned who writes less now, and so is CcloudsM above.

    @JPeppygurl - True, maybe I just need a break and then come back.

    @Drakonskyr -  haha yeah, I can see how it can be overwhelming if you already haven't had some of the Kool-aid. But all groups are kind of scary to outsiders, with their special lingo and their cheerful assumptions that EVERYONE agrees with them.

    @rwinzeler - I forget sometimes that people read and enjoy but don't comment. Thanks for reminding me

    @nessajoy_21 - Ooh good, I like friends please do continue to be my friend.

    @trunthepaige - Hmm...I wonder if I should thin my readers somehow? I've always wanted more deep relationships out of this blog rather than just shallow "comment-me-back" relationships. Interesting point.

  • @GreekPhysique - Well, you're a fantastic writer, but if writing is a burden, then yea. Don't bother. I'm a good writer, too (when I want to be), and Xanga is more about interacting with people for me, as well, but the real reason I use Xanga is to 1) get my writing out into public (it feels good to get something you've slaved over out into public for comments) and 2) finding other people who are really good at writing, and either attempting to help them out with a situation, or even just be inspired by their thoughts. Writing on Xanga is like making that phone call you can never make when something really crazy happens at three in the morning. You wanna call everyone right away and tell them what happened, but you don't wanna wake anyone up. Post it on Xanga, and not only will you be able to spill every detail, there'll be a lot more people than just the people in you inner circle of friends reading about it. All these other comments are great, too!

  • I vote for #1. Let us begin the rebuilding process now.

  • I generally support any move that would enable you to make more real life friends and develop non-internet relationships.  However, I also know that you are a good blogger and you really enjoy what you do here.

    Option 2 seems appealing, but I really don't like the idea of having to start over and build new readership on another site unless you're really committed to do the blog thing.  This would truly sap away your time from making real life friends, which would take away from what I am recommending for you.

    I think I agree with Theotica here in that following option 4 might be for the best, but then again, I too am in a similar situation as her; My writing these days aren't ideas I want to be public knowledge.  If you like the personal journal idea, then option 4 is the best for you.  This would also free you up from writing non-personal blog entries that are more catered to your readership and allow you more time for making real life relationships.

    My two cents.

    FYI, At this point in my xanga career, my interest in xanga really is between you and Russo.  There isn't anything else on here that is compelling enough for me to continue pursuing.

  • I seldom read other people's comments, so maybe everyone else has already said this: why does it have to be defined?  Just let the friendships that happen happen, enjoy posting when you want to, take a break if it gets draining.  Look for new friends when you want to and don't when you don't.  I would give the blog a theme for sure though...you.  Write what you want to write about, be true to yourself.  I bet you will grow a lot from just enjoying it.  I read the Message rather than a more formal translation of the Bible and it frequently says that if you are content to be yourself your life will count for much.  Imagine what treasures lie in your heart that will naturally spring up and grow with time.  No force needed.  Let blogging be the same.

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