July 3, 2008
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Beauty is Free
I have recently noticed much beauty is available to our eyes and ears on a regular basis. For example, food is so readily available to us now. There are so many cooking shows, recipe books, and specialist food stores it's almost overwhelming. And I'm pretty sure nearly every country in the world has its own US restaurant by now. (By the way, try Ethopian cooking if you can! It's great!). And what about nature's beauty? We can travel all over the world now if we so choose. I would bet a good percentage of my US readers have been to the Grand Canyon, Yosemite, or Niagara Falls. And we also can always watch the Discovery channel or read National Geographic.
Finally, what about bodily beauty? With the vast array of beauty aids, modern dentistry, and surgeries available, we may be living among the most beautiful people on earth. And if your neighbors are a little ugly, you can always get your beauty fix from a magazine, a book, TV, or the Internet. White skin or black skin? Clothed or unclothed? It's your choice, right?
However, in the midst of such plenty, our society seems to be suffering from many afflictions that were previously unknown or only bothered a few people. Eating disorders, in which people deliberately starve or overeat, are more common than ever before. Addictions to pornography also seem to be on the rise, and deviant sexuality of all kinds has increased. Self-mutilation is also a problem, as people cut their own flesh in frustration and anger. Finally, more and more of us seem addicted to entertainment, always looking for the next high or the next new thing.
So with so much beauty available to us, why are we misusing it so? I've quietly built a theory over the last few months, and it's based on the 10th commandment given to the Israelites by Moses in the Bible. It's the only commandment dealing with sins of thought (as opposed to sins of action, such as theft). Here is the CEV translation:
Do not want anything that belongs to someone else. Don't want anyone's house, wife or husband, slaves, oxen, donkeys or anything else.
It seems to me that the secret to enjoying all the extra beauty that surrounds us is not trying to possess beauty that doesn't belong to us. Enjoy the moment, and then let it fall through your fingers. Don't try so hard to capture it, to possess it, to own it. If you mess up and feel terrible about yourself, don't torment yourself with visions of how beautiful or perfect everyone else is. Let go, admit your fault, and move on. You cannot pay the price for your sins by shedding your own blood, or that of someone else's. Destroying your own beauty, that belongs to you, in response to what you've already done is trying to do wrong to make up for wrong. Only in mathematics do two negative elements make something positive.
Realize that no matter how many beautiful men or women you ogle on TV or on your computer, there is no substitute for having your own spouse that belongs to you--and you belong to him/her. Why, then, torment yourself by viewing hundreds of bodies that will never belong to you, or watching unrealistic movies that pretend that trust, love, and/or sex are easy and you're a loser if you don't have that? Let me be direct: porn and personal fantasies are not real, they are not true, and they are not realistic. Be brave, and prefer the ups and downs of real-life love to earn someone worth keeping to the dreary sameness of choreographed sex by paid performers or mental slideshow fantasies that use people's images without their permission.
And when it comes to food, sure, the pleasure of eating is wonderful. I just had some pineapple, oatmeal, and feta cheese right now (not all of them together!), and there's a pleasant aftertaste in my mouth. But only the food you need to supply your body belongs to you. To take more than what you need is to try to possess what does not really belong to you, and to take less is shirking what belongs to you for the sake of coveting another's physique. We need to let go of this idea of "perfect bodies"--what is perfection, anyway? For too long we've been lied to that if we don't have a perfect body, it's our fault, and we just need to try harder to improve. You may be able to improve if you're overeating and devouring sugared snacks all day long, but if you're eating healthily and exercising, what else can you do? Just let it go, smile, and possess what beauty you do have, that does belong to you.
Yes, it's almost un-American to tell people not to be ambitious. But I'm not saying "Don't try to make your life better." I'm saying "Don't hold onto these symbols of beauty so tightly, or they may destroy you. Enjoy your own beauty and what you've earned, and pay no attention to what others may have. That is how to be happy."
Comments (27)
Good post!
I agree with your thoughts.
but here's something interesting: covetousness in the OT is related to value and beauty, but covetousness in the NT is simply about appropriating greater quantities. i think we suffer from the second. it's not about better. it's about more and more. we are sick to the point of numbness with novelty.
I remember when I was a little kid and learning about God, I only saw my biggest obstacle was to obey my parents and hold my own greed in wanting the candy the next kid had. But as I grow up, it's getting rather hard to keep up with all the temptations around me because anything can be used and sometimes I'm not even aware of what is happening to me.
"Finally, more and more of us seem addicted to entertainment, always looking for the next high or the next new thing."- I thought about this some days ago. It was a passing thought, but agreed. It's always what's happening today, and doing empty things to just pass the day, and then what's happening tomorrow and planning to do empty things tomorrow. Everything seems so empty. I mean it's fun at the moment but in the end, I haven't really accomplish anything with my time nor am I any more happy. Interesting thought.
I think that a big part of the American culture is the drive to have more things better things then your neighbor, and if you don't have it then you aren't happy. I mean it's crazy when you realized the idea and understand it, but it's a subconscious idea that we all have and i think many of us believe it. It's horrible.
Well thanks for the post. =]
Fantastic post, good sir. I couldn't agree more.
perfect beauty is always something i wish i had. but you know, your right. i am clinging to it to tightly
Sage advice, sir.
Wonderful!
The first time I broke my nose I got over my looks. A few millimeters makes such a difference, but should it really? There's got to be something more important.
Most my friends are models, so I'm surrounded by beauty en masse every day... Americans (and the world) are obsessed with beauty- celebrities, models, whatever- as a form of escapism. If you fake beauty, you fake health, and then you don't have to think about dying.
I agree...though it's easier said than done for me to just let it go like that. I'll try to focus on myself :
This is a great entry. As a newcomer to the world of retail (and an observant fellow in general), I'm noticing more how beauty comes pre-packaged and manufactured these days. I think that's something you were getting at in this entry. It has to go through rigorous testing and marketing phases, have mass appeal, and be eco-friendly, reproduceable and disposable. In essence, the beauty we see and buy today is un-natural. And the city lights are so bright that we can't see the lights that have drawn the eyes of humanity upwards for countless millennia. We're so far from the forests and woodlands (but close enough) that it becomes somewhere you can go to "get away" (with cellphones, blackberries and pagers on hand).
"Beauty" has become a personal entitlement, and as such has become as bland and edifying as the rows upon rows of twinkies and canned water chestnuts. As C.S. Lewis describes in The Abolition of Man, we have sterilised Nature of its emotional, sentimental appeal to the point that very little can be enjoyed in and of itself for itself anymore. Our educational system and media are teaching this every day—and before we realise it, "another little portion of the human heritage has been quietly taken from [us]."
Somehow we've bought the lie that unreality is superior to nature. That civilisation is better off for discarding the shackles of the organic for prefabricated verisimilitude. It's safer that way?
I agree.
also, we are denying silence for sound.
And, I also wish they would let go of the perfect image, so I have to spend less time photoshopping their pictures.
but then again, I could always charge extra for it....
good post.
it's interesting that this sort of unhealthy obsession with beauty is a world-wide problem, particularly in highly developed countries. plastic surgery here in the states is nothing, NOTHING, compared to what goes on in Korea and Japan. it strikes me that people, nay, nations, with money are usually bored with their lives and fill their time with addictions.
Noble thoughts, indeed.
And as for deviant sexuality: http://weblog.xanga.com/JL789/663791211/this-is-bananas-b-a-n-a-n-a-s.html 'nuff said.
some things to ponder...
A verse that my daughters and I are memorizing is for women, "Your beauty should not come from outward adornment... instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight."
1Peter 3:3a and 4
This verse mean so much to me as a woman. It has helped me get my focus right many times. I'm thankful for the wisdom that the New Testament gives us even for this subject.
And, men, if you think a gentle and quiet spirit sounds really boring just think about wives that you have witnessed that have nagged their husbands to no end and maybe you'll have a different perspective on it.
Nice. "Very nice," as Borat would say. Since there isn't a source for Ethopian food around here, I'll try to cook some myself. This should be distasterous. . .
That is very true. Google Ethiopian recipes. Try to make the 'tablecloth bread'. Eating Ethiopian food is on my list of 43 things to do.
Great post! I think many people (myself included in some ways) strive to be perfect but are well aware that perfection is not attainable. It is always great when you meet someone who isn't particularly beautiful but has the confidence you desire. In college there was a girl on my floor and, I admit, the first time I saw here I had to take a double take. She is at leat 5'10, medium build, cross eyed with tight curly hair. I assumed she was a nerdy introverted person. Over the span of the year, I ended up talking to her and becoming friends with her. She actually is one of the most out going confident people I know and was friends with almost everyone on campus. Shows that appearances do not define the person whether it is material or physical.
Thanks, it's always great to have a "thinker" every now and then. Happy 4th!
Your tag, "Minefield Dancing" what's that?
And I do think that you're absolutely right, because even I fall under the spell of beauty obsession.
Of course, then I look outside, see the clouds and the trees am I never done being amazed.
^_^
Great post. I personally agree with it but personally it's very hard to execute with myself, I have many issues with my self worth and my appearance but I do recieve compliments and supports for my wishes by my partner.
I totally wish it could be brainwashed outta me, though, save me a lot of emotional drainage and headaches, aha...
Excellent thoughts here. Very Biblical! There is a reason God told us not to covet, lust, etc. and it was for our own good that he gave us the commands.
Weeelllllll, she was nice. But not beautiful.
This is a very insightful post and I enjoyed reading it. It's true that we have the ability to be much more attractive physically than the people in all the centuries preceding us. I hadn't really thought about that before.
It's hard not to reach for that perfect ideal though, when all you have to do is use this cream and try this new product and wear this brand and get perfect hair. I find myself falling into that trap occasionally — and I consider myself somewhat sensible when it comes to overhyped cosmetics advertising.
It seems to me that the secret to enjoying all the extra beauty that surrounds us is not trying to possess beauty that doesn't belong to us. Enjoy the moment, and then let it fall through your fingers.
This is excellent advice. C. S. Lewis writes in either Out of the Silent Planet or Perelandra that so much of our sin originates from the desire to repeat our pleasures. We want to "can" it and keep it to turn on later, like a shot of... well, pleasure. But life isn't candy. We can't unwrap the things that we enjoy whenever we like, and our efforts to preserve those pleasures for later consumption lead to grief. It's really very selfish.
Loved it. I agree so much with this post. I believe in so many aspects beauty is applied and overstretched into a massive part of everyday society's "needs" instead of what was once "wants" (hope that made sense) But it's a wonderful "theory" that can be easily supported by facts. Great post, and thanks for the share.
"It seems to me that the secret to enjoying all the extra beauty that
surrounds us is not trying to possess beauty that doesn't belong to us."
Amen to that! Good post, my friend. People trying to possess things, not just beauty, is what makes so many of us miserable. But being still and in the moment and then moving on to the next moment and the next...that is what life should be about. Not always trying to grasp what isn't yours to keep.
Great post!! I couldn't agree more. I think that's why I love traveling to other countries. I love when I can stand in awe of people, cultures, places. Now, the one thing I do want to possess is a lot of free plane tickets so I can go see all the beauty there is to see in the world
You're a supercilious ass. You pontificate about all sorts of nonsense, but you don't really have a clue. Phony.
@Dodgerbro - Maybe you're right about that. Since you apparently do have a clue, by all means educate me so I can learn from you.
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