January 20, 2009

  • I know what women like (it doesn't matter)

    I know what women like.

    I know that women like to be affirmed. That they like kind words about their future and tastefully flirty comments about their appearance.

    I know that women love beauty. That if they are surrounded by beautiful things, people, and accessories, they feel beautiful.

    I know that women want to be protected. That telling obnoxious guys to leave them alone or holding their hand during a scary movie makes them feel like they can have adventures without fear.

    I know that women enjoy being served. That doing so-called "women's work" just to show them that you're willing to meet them more than half-way helps them trust you.

    I know that women love to laugh. That if you can get a stressed woman to smile, it feels like the sun is shining indoors.

    I know that women appreciate a good voice and a loving touch. That sometimes just a little hug or reassuring squeeze of the arm helps them relax and feel appreciated.

    I know that women communicate the way men breathe. That a clever man knows how to rapidly change gears from exchanges of facts to discussion of emotions to moments of humor to talk about the future to non-verbal communication, and that to be able to connect across the gender divide like this is not as hard as we think.

    I know that the problem often isn't that men don't understand women, or that women don't understand men.
    I know it's easier to pretend that the opposite gender is weird or irrational rather than accepting them for who they are.
    I know the real problem is that we aren't willing to sacrifice for the sake of love.
    That we are too afraid that we won't get what we want, and so we don't give others what they need.
    That all the self-help books in the world won't help us if it's merely a question of follow-through, not of knowledge.
    That until we truly decide to love and respect someone even if it means getting nothing in return, and love and respect without resentment, all that knowledge does nothing to help us find love.

Comments (52)

  • This is all very true.

    PS: You don't have to apologize for 80's song lyrics (as your tag does). You should be thanked for them. Thank you!

  • So true:  I have a blog I'm brewing on the matter...only slightly different than where you are...but what it boils down to is most definitely sacrifice for another.

  • Very awesome post man.

  • Very good.

  • WOW. Greekie, you are going to be a fine husband. Seriously, some girl is going to be very blessed by you.

    I also like your list because it reminded me how wonderful my bf is. Not very men "get it" when it comes to these things, but he does.

    As for the sacrifice part, you are once again right on. If we believe that God is love, and God sacrificed His Son for us, then love = sacrifice.

  • So true! 

  • Very well put my friend. Cheers!

  • and you DON'T  have a GF/wife?  you are right on about it all.....

    love is all about sacrifice and your willingness to be your counterpart's everything........

  • very, very good post. :)

    you're pretty much right.

  • Yes you do!

  • dang...wish you were around right now.  haha
    all. so. very. true.

  • Good post!

    Fear is an incredibly powerful emotion. Sometimes it's hard to overcome that.

  • This is one of those things that seems so simple once it's out there... but is some how still really complicated to put actions to it.

    And while I can't speak for all women... in my opinion, you are right (and remarkably thorough) in what women desire.

  • Wow! How true! 

  • Good post.

  • Nice post.

    I think sometimes we just don't want the responsibility of what love comes with. Its work. People are lazy and selfish. Not all...some.

  • insightful.

  • Could be worse. Could be 90's song lyrics like a bunch of us were singing last night. *belts* WHAT IS LOVE? LADY DON'T HURT ME, DON'T HURT ME, NO MORE.... :P

    This is sweet.

  • Eureka.

  • That's very well put.

  • Fantastic!

  • How... HOW are you not taken yet??? 

    *ahem* I mean... very astute observations. I hope that my future husband, whomever he may be, is just as insightful. I actually remember, about 5-6 years ago, wondering why people (in my church, even) said that I could not have the type of marriage that I wanted and that it was just wishful thinking. Do you know why? I wanted a husband who would be willing to serve me, in love, because I know that's what I'd do for him and I don't want to have a one-sided relationship.

    I guess high standards make for lonely hearts sometimes. :-/

  • this is beautifully written (and i don't say that often).  nicely done. 

  • I like it when my boyfriend pretends he likes my cat and when she pretends back. lol

  • Very true. I completely agree.

  • Right on, brother!  Right on!  Thanks for sharing such great information.  Many of us forget the sacrificial part.  I think that a lot of times, relationships fail because we fail to live up to our end of the love/respect deal, and instead complain when the SO doesn't live up to their end. 

  • Thanks so much for sharing this. I needed this.

  • Good insight.

  • BRAVO.

  • You mean the problem is being self centered. That seems to be the reason behind a lot of problems. Looking out for number one leaves one an unhappy wreck in the end

  • Great post.  Both genders need to read this.... regularly.

  • @Carolina17 - is it strange that I now have that song stuck in my head?

  • Well....not sure if I be the first to oppose your post becuz everything you wrote none of it applied to me. But I am a 100% woman. Below I will state what I am and correspond to most mens for my entire life. Most feedbacks or comments I've received from is they rather think I am weird.

    I know what women like (it doesn't matter)
    I know what women like.
     
    my issue: "every mens said that to me, and ended up getting lost somewhere in the end, they can't just figure what's on my mind".
     
    I know that women like to be affirmed. That they like kind words about their future and tastefully flirty comments about their appearance.
     
    my issue: "maybe in most womens they prefer mens to be affirmed. but I get extremely offended and upset whenever mens tries. Especially using tastefully flirty comments about my appearance. It's an insult to me. I often ask them WHO DO YOU THINK I AM??? THOSE WEAK A%^$ Womens that can't live w/o a men??? I do not need ur compliment to BREATHE..so go and get lost" 

    I know that women love beauty. That if they are surrounded by beautiful things, people, and accessories, they feel beautiful.
    "I do not like accessories, I hardly wear any. NONE..Zero...it aggravates me..touches my skin..I don't really care if I am surrounded by beautiful people...kwn the fact they are not pretty inside, and pretty thing...objects..??? I only like modern design decoration...it makes me feel comforting rather than pretty"

    I know that women want to be protected. That telling obnoxious guys to leave them alone or holding their hand during a scary movie makes them feel like they can have adventures without fear.

    "I do excessively protect myself...but I protect only 1 thing is PRIDE, u try to hold my hand..that would hurt my pride...makes me look like a woos,,,,but I do ask not just obnoxious guys but everyone including all my female friends, family, bf's....blah blah ..to leave me alone is a plus"
     

    I know that women enjoy being served. That doing so-called "women's work" just to show them that you're willing to meet them more than half-way helps them trust you.

    "I am not sure bout that...I always gets into a physical fight with all the mens that tries to serve me and satisfy me...most of them just simply irritates me pretty good"

    I know that women love to laugh. That if you can get a stressed woman to smile, it feels like the sun is shining indoors.

    "I am a happy person..seriously..but I can only laugh natural when no one around it is almost like letting your stresss out without having anyone next to you that could possibly create another stress after you led one out"

    I know that women appreciate a good voice and a loving touch. That sometimes just a little hug or reassuring squeeze of the arm helps them relax and feel appreciated.

    "ERRRRRR>>>its a RED FLAG for any mens to try to do something like that. I was never like that when I was young. But..the more I age...the more I cannot feel at ease. I get more and more emotional when they touch, hug, squeeze. Greeting wise is acceptable....but not cuddling"
     

    I know that women communicate the way men breathe. That a clever man knows how to rapidly change gears from exchanges of facts to discussion of emotions to moments of humor to talk about the future to non-verbal communication, and that to be able to connect across the gender divide like this is not as hard as we think.

    "for the most part, the last one...I think all mens just need to ignore...and STOP TRYING SO HARD TO GRAB women's attention..or is it just me??? does all the womens out there still needs it?????? I am a woman but I don't even understand women...but def..I know exactly what's on men's mind!!!....9 out of 10 guys said ...I am a tomboy!!!

  • Hey Greekie, I was just thinking ... Are you gonna write a post about what men need? I think it would be very helpful for all your female readers ... and you probably can speak as an expert, being a man and all. :)

  • Good form!

    And, after reading it the first time, I saw it as: "women communicate like men breathe..." as the fact, that yes, women "communicate" through different exhalations and intakes! I thought to myself, "now there is someone who has been paying attention..."

    :D

  • If you think you can generalize what women want into a dozen concise statements, then you have no idea what a woman wants.  You have to learn what each person wants from scratch - assumptions like this are what hinders relationships.

  • =)
    very true.

    makes me feel special whenever my boyfriend is able to do that kind of stuff =) we're long distance, so that kinda complicates things =D

  • true post!

  • amen. another fantastic post GP.

  • @weedorwildflower - he promised he would...c'mon GP since you know what women want and all

  • love begins with loving ourselves that we should not need so many confirmations. 

  • Truer words were never spoken

  • No.  Absolutely not.

    I agreed with you 100% in your analysis, but I completely disagree with your conclusion.  All equal relationships are based on the equality of exchange.  I've seen too many guys be this kind, loving man for women and get USED (in converse, I've also seen too many girls be that sweet, loving sex-kitten for guys, only to be USED)--I refuse to be one of them.  Your statement of unconditional love is a recipe for getting used.  I know, because I've done it.  And you know who's fault it was?  Not hers.  Mine.  Mine because I did not value what I had to offer enough to charge a high enough price for it.

  • Well said. All of our knowledge about the opposite sex is obsolete unless we are willing to sacrifice in the name of love. I agree wholeheartedly.

  • This is how to gain the respect and affection of many female Xangans.

  • Hey uh, thanks for this. This really helps a lot.

  • excellent, sweet, thoughtful, truthful... very, very nice

    good on ya

  • I didn't even notice the 80s tag apology until Lucy's rec brought me back here and I scrolled down to Garistotle's comment.  Apparently, I'm not the only one using song lyrics as their titles.  That's not a bad lyric, although I have to say the rest of the song is pretty robotic and repetitive.  The 80s are wonderful by the way.

  • A very loving and true post - your future wife will be blessed!

  • Very excellent, indeed!

  • I am so happy I read this today... Do you have any idea how unique you are?...... Are you sure you don't have sisters?

  • @echois23 - Ha, yes, no sisters--I was just strangely insightful on this post. I sometimes come back and look at this post and wonder why I can't be this lucid and concise all the time. It was a rare breakthrough moment.

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