December 27, 2010

  • Wish for My Children

    I was randomly musing the other day on what values I would want to impart to my as-yet unborn children. I thought of quite a few virtues I wish my children had, most of which are virtues I lack. Oh how quickly we believe we can change the next generation when we cannot change one hair on our head, right? But if I had to choose, I would want to teach my children to be observers--"noticers" if you will.

    I would want my future children to notice beauty...to not need to have it pointed out for them by magazine inserts and top ten lists, but to appreciate it wherever it may be found. I want them to see beauty in abandoned factories and well-etched wrinkles as well as the latest and greatest. And I hope they will stand by beauty and defend it even if all the other children can't see what they see.

    I would want my future children to notice people--not just what people say, or how they look, or what they do. I want them to be able to read between the lines and behind the facade. I want my children to realize that younger sister may be so hard to deal with, not because she hates older brother, but because she was lonely without older brother when he was at school. I want older sister to notice that mom could use a break today, and know to quiet the other children. And I would want them to notice that people are broken, but that there is still hope for repairs, still an opportunity for beauty to return.

    I would want my future children to notice patterns--to trace out how one pattern of behavior leads to despair and destruction, while another pattern leads to joy and contentment. I would want them to notice what makes them happy and what makes them sad, and how to deal with the inevitable joy of life. No, not disappointments; joy, because although life may seem random, there is much to life that can be understood, and there is no reason to fear. I believe that a parent of a noticing child never really has cause to fear for very long. The child's own skill in watching and learning from others will keep the child safe.

    I would want my future children to notice the truth--that which shows beauty, which attracts people, and which follows a sure, consistent pattern worth following. As they grow, I would want them to notice by themselves what truth really is, and desire strongly to follow the truth. I believe that if the truth exists, it makes itself known to those who will watch for it. Yes, I will build a foundation of what I believe is truth for them, but I would want them to build on that foundation themselves. And if they come back with different answers than what I have found to be true, I hope that I will be a noticer too, and open to seeing things through the eyes of another. Memorized proverbs can be forgotten, and I cannot always be with my future children. But if they will truly see clearly, I have great hopes for their futures.

Comments (17)

  • Those are great!

  • These are really good wishes, I wish that all parents in-still this in their children. The world would be a better place for them. 

  • I love these, you'd definitely get my vote for a great dad award :)

  • beautiful post GP.

  • Grand wishes. Now it is your turn to make sure you instill these values in them through example and careful teaching. 

  • This is so lovely! All ideals I would want to pass onto my future children as well. I always see parents with their kids and think of how I would want to raise my kids and how I would or would not do some of the things that I see others doing. 

    You're profile picture cracks me up. I read this wonderful post and then look over and shake my head laughing. Ohhhh boy!!! How 'bout you teach your unborn children NOT to make that crazy face!?

  • Since I can't rec this, I'll just RT it or something. 

  • Hmm...I am nearly this person described. I am the observer. I am the "quiet girl in the background" always watching, always listening. I'm always paying attention to what is going on around me. I don't always know what it is I "know" about a person by observing them, at least not right away, but eventually, I realize what it is I have been "noticing". I guess, it's hard for me to put some things into words, spoken words anyhow. I greatly enjoy writing. I am awfully shy. I don't want my children to be as quiet as I am, but I do want them to still be observers. I want them to appreciate beauty in everything. I think I appreciate beauty in MOST things, however, definitely not EVERYTHING. Though, I find beauty in things most people find "gross" (bugs, for example).

  • you had me at "as yet unborn children" I'm still pretty in love with "oral sex in private jets". What a ring to it. That being said, this is such a sweet and thoughtful post, and I hope I haven't disgraced your page with these trashy words :) You are going to make a great dad or, if nothing else, a wise teacher.

    -nog

  • That's lovely.
    My mother taught us to be this way by always pointing out little things that we might have just passed by if it weren't for her.
    It was embarrassing sometimes; like the time when she would told the old Chinese lady in a random shop how beautiful she was. But, when I really looked, I saw that the lady, though old, really was beautiful.

  • Very honest, humble, and authentic! I am glad to read. 

  • Dude I think this is the best post I've ever read.  I feel like this is almost religious for me.  I hope to raise people who notice the light rather than only noticing the shadows the light creates.

  • @key19 - lol I cannot help but bust out laughing every time I look at his profile picture! Especially after reading a serious post. 

  • @anaraug - Thanks! That was indeed my goal; to find a way of introducing virtue that was not tied to a particular dogma. I personally do hope that my children will follow my religion. But I think that teaching my children HOW to think is perhaps even more important than teaching them WHAT to think, because I would like to think the HOW would lead them to the right concepts anyway. Does that make sense? It's a concept I've been musing on lately.
    @Nataly@lovelyish - Thank you friend
    @looking_inside_me - thanks!
    @mypandabear - Aww, and I think you would get my vote for a good daughter. You're always so concerned about what your parents think.
    @spokenfor - Thanks Spoke hope you had a nice Christmas.
    @WondersCafe - Exactly. I have to fulfill what I said!
    @key19 - HAHA! You know, I will indeed find a new photo for 2011. I think I've made my point, right? :-p

  • @ashleyannaka - Ashley, you sound like a good person, for sure. I think it is tough to be shy in a culture that seems to worship outgoing, expressionate people. But I find that this is who God made me in the end, you know?
    @oldnog - Aww, thanks for the compliment!
    @FifteenMinuteRule - (big grin) Well I'm glad to see even newly married folks can squeeze in some time for Xanga. Lisa! I am hoping to come up your way sometime this spring and will definitely let you know. Hope you are doing great!
    @AlisaTaipei - Thank you Alisa!
    @Baseballchik138 - I AM VERY SERIOUS VERY SERIOUS AM I THANK YOU VERY MUCH. :-p Ah, Mariela, you're funny.

  • Awesome list.  And quite attainable, I believe.  However, the traditional Socratic method for teaching young children may have to be a bit altered in order to cultivate such an approach to life.  It would require patient, thorough, and beautiful answers to each of the questions, "Why is the sky blue?", "Why is Sally ugly?", "Why do you make me eat broccoli?".

  • Very inspiring... I believe you will be a good father and teacher to not only your offspring but others in life. :)

Comments are closed.

Post a Comment