I call false dichotomy... and choose neither. The internet is just a tool, a medium and like any other amoral object it takes on the properties of the one using it.
Definitely no shades of gray! : D I'm not actually quite sure what you mean by this. Is the internet a good place to be intimate? Or is the internet a good place to develop our ability to be intimate? Personally, I find it very helpful. There are things I need to say. There are things about myself which I find too horrifying or bizarre or whatever to reveal to anyone in real life. Then I finally bring them out here (rather like Johnny Tremain with his wounded hand) and discover that to many people those things are really not shocking at all. My hidden shame becomes something I can accept and deal with when I know I am not the only one who faces it. And if I've never met you, but you know that I have always hated my cousin for that thing he did to me when we were two, why is that bad? Maybe you don't need to know, but it can be as good for you to listen as for me to share. Does this cathartic process always translate into real life? Perhaps not. Perhaps sometimes it encourages us to pursue this faceless freeing venue to the exclusion of the other types of human interaction we need. But I think, if we are careful, that overindulgence will be no more than a period of social adolescence-- a time in which we explore and mature until we are more fully prepared to engage in the risky business of face-to-face relationships.
Intimacy all depends on how one views that word. I think the internet helps people like me express my intimacy better...but others would think that silly...and take pictures of themselves half naked to achieve that goal.
No. The physical side of intimacy, from a slap on the back, to a hug, and beyond Is vital. Full stop.
I think it is good for maintaining a connection with others and laying some foundation, but I dont think you get the same depth online as you do in-person. Plus, a lot of communication is not words but body language, tone, and humor/sarcasm or whit - which do not come across well online. That being said, most of my social interaction is online, mostly because I am an introvert and am single. However, I am part of my church and go to Sunday School and I recently joined the choir. These things have started to increase my community, yet in my current town I do not have anyone close to a best or deep friend.
p.s. - I think some people online understand this and will do audio clips/podcasts or Vblogs to increase the depth of their sharing themselves and of others being able to know them better.
Is it really pronounced vee-log? Anyway, It can be a good tool for the reasons you stated, and for long distance relationships and such, but.. I would prefer face-to-face any day. I pay a lot of attention to people's body language/facial expressions and you just miss a lot of that on the internet.
I agree with Doubledb that the internet is great for communication but that nothing beats being in-person with others. The internet is a great start for some people who need it (ex. like you said shy, aspergers, etc) but it won't help them with their real-life interactions with others. I know this because I was once extremely shy and even though I had been coming on here for years and communicating with people, it helped me in no way communicate with people in my real life. Not until I decided to face my fears and determined myself in everyday situations did I overcome my shyness. Plus, you do need that physical touch and verbal communication to really stimulate the social part of your brain I think.
k. So I don't check my messages on xanga lol and that makes me a bad person. However, I've had experience with meeting friends I have mutual friends with. There are very few people I've met without having mutual friends with. You happen to be one of the those But I feel like the Internet sets up a sense of intimacy so that when you do finally meet the other person in the flesh, it's less awkward. That said, the Internet is NEVER a substitute for interaction. It benefits in the creation of friendships and relationships because it allows people to be less self-conscious. Sometimes it's hard to talk about things in person. Sometimes people express themselves better in written words than orally. As you know, I don't have trouble expressing myself using my mouth, but even I write better than I speak when you get to specific topics. The Internet is only as good as you treat it and you need to take it with a grain of salt. Personally, I prefer seeing someone in person and creating intimacy, but I have used the Internet as a jump-off point leading up to creating intimacy.
I think that the internet gives one a false sense of intimacy but it is instead largely unable to amount to anything more than an emotional playground. By giving people the tools they need to learn how to build a relationship, I think that the internet certainly has its merits and displays them readily. Just the same, however, I think that generally individuals that meet and/or interact online tend to truly value those relationships less than ones that are formed and fostered in person. As such, I have to say that I think that the internet is a good place to practice engaging in emotional intimacy but that in order to actually build something sustainable that the internet simply is not reliable. So, in short, I think that the internet could very well be seen as an impediment and is more times than not bad for any sort of genuine, sustainable intimacy.
But what's your TRUE opinion? This video was too politically correct
Comments (11)
I call false dichotomy... and choose neither. The internet is just a tool, a medium and like any other amoral object it takes on the properties of the one using it.
Definitely no shades of gray! : D
I'm not actually quite sure what you mean by this. Is the internet a good place to be intimate? Or is the internet a good place to develop our ability to be intimate?
Personally, I find it very helpful. There are things I need to say. There are things about myself which I find too horrifying or bizarre or whatever to reveal to anyone in real life. Then I finally bring them out here (rather like Johnny Tremain with his wounded hand) and discover that to many people those things are really not shocking at all. My hidden shame becomes something I can accept and deal with when I know I am not the only one who faces it. And if I've never met you, but you know that I have always hated my cousin for that thing he did to me when we were two, why is that bad? Maybe you don't need to know, but it can be as good for you to listen as for me to share.
Does this cathartic process always translate into real life? Perhaps not. Perhaps sometimes it encourages us to pursue this faceless freeing venue to the exclusion of the other types of human interaction we need.
But I think, if we are careful, that overindulgence will be no more than a period of social adolescence-- a time in which we explore and mature until we are more fully prepared to engage in the risky business of face-to-face relationships.
Intimacy all depends on how one views that word. I think the internet helps people like me express my intimacy better...but others would think that silly...and take pictures of themselves half naked to achieve that goal.
No.
The physical side of intimacy, from a slap on the back, to a hug, and beyond Is vital.
Full stop.
I think it is good for maintaining a connection with others and laying some foundation, but I dont think you get the same depth online as you do in-person. Plus, a lot of communication is not words but body language, tone, and humor/sarcasm or whit - which do not come across well online. That being said, most of my social interaction is online, mostly because I am an introvert and am single. However, I am part of my church and go to Sunday School and I recently joined the choir. These things have started to increase my community, yet in my current town I do not have anyone close to a best or deep friend.
p.s. - I think some people online understand this and will do audio clips/podcasts or Vblogs to increase the depth of their sharing themselves and of others being able to know them better.
Is it really pronounced vee-log? Anyway, It can be a good tool for the reasons you stated, and for long distance relationships and such, but.. I would prefer face-to-face any day. I pay a lot of attention to people's body language/facial expressions and you just miss a lot of that on the internet.
I agree with Doubledb that the internet is great for communication but that nothing beats being in-person with others. The internet is a great start for some people who need it (ex. like you said shy, aspergers, etc) but it won't help them with their real-life interactions with others. I know this because I was once extremely shy and even though I had been coming on here for years and communicating with people, it helped me in no way communicate with people in my real life. Not until I decided to face my fears and determined myself in everyday situations did I overcome my shyness. Plus, you do need that physical touch and verbal communication to really stimulate the social part of your brain I think.
k. So I don't check my messages on xanga lol and that makes me a bad person. However, I've had experience with meeting friends I have mutual friends with. There are very few people I've met without having mutual friends with. You happen to be one of the those
But I feel like the Internet sets up a sense of intimacy so that when you do finally meet the other person in the flesh, it's less awkward. That said, the Internet is NEVER a substitute for interaction. It benefits in the creation of friendships and relationships because it allows people to be less self-conscious. Sometimes it's hard to talk about things in person. Sometimes people express themselves better in written words than orally. As you know, I don't have trouble expressing myself using my mouth, but even I write better than I speak when you get to specific topics. The Internet is only as good as you treat it and you need to take it with a grain of salt. Personally, I prefer seeing someone in person and creating intimacy, but I have used the Internet as a jump-off point leading up to creating intimacy. 
I think that the internet gives one a false sense of intimacy but it is instead largely unable to amount to anything more than an emotional playground. By giving people the tools they need to learn how to build a relationship, I think that the internet certainly has its merits and displays them readily. Just the same, however, I think that generally individuals that meet and/or interact online tend to truly value those relationships less than ones that are formed and fostered in person. As such, I have to say that I think that the internet is a good place to practice engaging in emotional intimacy but that in order to actually build something sustainable that the internet simply is not reliable. So, in short, I think that the internet could very well be seen as an impediment and is more times than not bad for any sort of genuine, sustainable intimacy.
But what's your TRUE opinion? This video was too politically correct
Comments are closed.