Suppose that you go out on a date. The man/woman understands your personality immediately. They have a good grasp of your strengths and weaknesses, your wants and needs, and the way you think. I'll go a little further and say that this person is a decent human being and is interested in dating you. You are fairly certain they won't use this knowledge against you in an evil way, but of course they do know better how to ask you for things or to convince you. Assume slightly above-average looks, earnings, status, etc. for this date.
On the one hand, this person understands you so well already. You've just saved yourself months of awkward explanations, easily avoidable arguments, and embarrassing misunderstandings. They know what you like.
On the other hand, this means no mysteries and no illusions. The honeymoon period of the relationship won't be the same. They already recognized your jealous side, or your selfishness, or your tendency to be needy. They know what you are not.
Will you enter into a relationship with this person? You have to decide now, after this first date.
Comments (42)
Quick guesses: Men, Older People, and Introverts say Yes.
Huh. I would. Don't fall under ^ that at all.
I would say yes. people spend a crazy amount of time looking for that person who 'gets' them, why shy away when you actually find someone who does?
True, you're the opposite of all three, @Levanna - . I figured that there is a power asymmetry by one partner knowing so much, and also a possible romance deficit if it seems like there is no illusion and one feels vulnerable by being so well known. You know, when I was younger, I would have been all for dating this woman. But after knowing a woman who did understand me well, I'm not so sure, it was vaguely uncomfortable. She was slightly cocky about knowing me so well, ha.
@jersey_jenn - Ah, that's a good reason right there :) it is nice to have that familiarity, right? That's underrated in romance.
That's my current situation. I said yes.
and I am a male introvert
I would probably say yes, but get bored.
I actively seek this sort of relationship.
However, when you phrase it the way you did, you make it sound as if the other person would hold all the power.
No, because people generally suck, and I have no interest in dating right now. How did I even end up on this date? I'm taking a sabbatical. *hands you get-out-of-jail-free card* Buuuuutttttttt, if I'm being honest. Yes. I rarely "click" with anyone, and the situation you just described sounds like "clicking." That's when the honeymoon phase begins for me.
Yes, I would.
The honeymoon period is a very small part of a long-lasting relationship. The real triumph isn't thriving in the honeymoon period but making everything afterwards as good as - or better than - the honeymoon period as possible. So with that I would say yes.
I would also add that this question sorta assumes that people are completely static. While there are certain aspects of our personalities that are unique to us, we are ever growing and changing, which always provides the opportunities for rediscovery and mystery.
For your amusement, when younger I was that guy who thought the honeymoon period sounded crazy and the day to day regular married life sounded fantastic. @QuantumStorm -
For some reason men seem to think women like mystery. I hate it. So definitely yes.
Go for it. You never know what it may bring to you
Yes.
That's pretty much how it happened with Rick and me. Only, no one completely understands me, but he comes REALLY close. And we are STILL in the honeymoon phase - four years later.
I would say yes, but possibly regret it later. All I've ever wanted was someone who 'got' me but I think if I do find someone that does, I may not like it.
Thats sort of what happened with my current relationship. Time being a huge factor. It was sort of say yes and roll with it or say no and live in regret. So I roll on. Under most circumstances, I agree to a second date, as I assume nothing of the other person.
I did once. Never again.
Of course. Everyone has weaknesses and it is so much better to know them up front than them be hidden for a long time and then after a while rear their heads. The honeymoon phase would still be there. I know people who have known each other their whole lives and when they started dating after high school, they very much had that honeymoon phase, even though they were very well acquainted with each others faults.
I said yes. He stopped wanting to make it work after the glow of the honeymoon period faded.
In theory, would I say yes again? Yes. I am not afraid of what comes after the first few months and want a long lasting relationship with the ability to grow because of, and in spite of, the hardships.
Absolutely. I am not a man, nor older, I would consider myself an introvert, but I get along with people just fine. My partner and I have been together for 6 years and he and I connected on this type of level the first hour we'd known each other. It didn't take away any of the mystery or fun. Actually it made getting to know each other on the deepest levels that committed couples do is more fun and easier! It's a relief knowing that you can play games with someone and it won't be taken for something that it's not. We were really comfortable to start with but that didn't mean we didn't flirt and make jokes. Understand each other was what made me realize he was right for me. I'd never met a person on earth who had a spirit that could communicate with mine. Not even the people in my own family could tap into parts of me I hadn't realized were even there. It's a wonderful and lucky gift to find someone who can do this for you.
Why not? There still would be surprises, because no one is so simplistic that you can completely figure them out on one date, even in the scenario you described.