Warning: I talk about several different types of sin addictions here in some detail. If you are extremely sensitive to triggers, so much so that even a mention can set you back into addictive behavior, don't read. I say that specifically for a friend of mine, but may apply to others too.

To keep up with the series from the beginning, just click the DarkSchemes tag. Instead of writing a scenario, I'm going old-school with this one...as in about 3000 years ago school. Take it away, Samuel!

"One late afternoon, David got up from taking his nap and was strolling on the roof of the palace. From his vantage point on the roof he saw a woman bathing. The woman was stunningly beautiful. David sent to ask about her, and was told, "Isn't this Bathsheba, daughter of Eliam and wife of Uriah the Hittite?"

Now read that again--it's David's lucky day, right? Man's just on a walk when suddenly he looks down and sees a naked woman. What a freebie! He didn't do it himself, she's just there! If you read between the lines, Bathsheba must have had more curves than Richard Simmons (um, I'm not good at analogies, haha) to be noticed from that high up. How can he not look? It's a free lunch!...right? or wrong?

It's pretty easy for me to realize why I shouldn't murder my neighbor, or lie to my mother. Those sins hurt someone directly. But what about a class of sins that don't harm anyone? That do indeed seem like a "free lunch" where no one has to pay for what the Bible would term as sin? Here's some examples:

Food or self-control sins: Sure, I just gorged or starved myself, but hey, I bought the food, and it's not hurting much...yet. It's my choice! Or, sure, I gambled away $300--but I would have spent it on something fun anyway, why not gambling?

Pornography sins: It's easy to argue "Oh, 123432 people already watched this video or read this magazine; it's not like my viewership made a difference, right? They already made the video, would have done it whether I watched or not."

Environmental or wasteful sins: So I completely deforest a field even though I just need a few trees, or shoot animals wantonly that haven't done anything to me and that I will not make use of in any way. They're not people, right? But I would still argue that some types of environmental misuse is sin, as we are failing our responsibility to be wise stewards.

Coveting sins: Sure, I spend half my time drooling over my neighbor's car, house, or wife, but is it really so weird that I take night-vision pics of his Corvette while perched on my tree and then photoshop my name on the side? Oh wait, that one's easy.

What I find fascinating about those sins, too, is that these are the ones that are toughest to talk about in church. When was the last time you heard a gluttony sermon, anyway? These indulgences are personal and don't hurt our neighbors, so they slide by. But they still are wrong in many cases; the Bible condemns them as lack of self-control, idolatry, or sexual perversion of God's plan with good reason. Here's a few thoughts that I have been mulling in combating those sins:

Long-term Perspective: Sure, David can't help seeing Bathsheba that one time. But just watch--soon David will find excuse after excuse to hang out on that roof. Then that won't be enough--he'll start patrolling the neighborhood in his chariot on excuse that he was cruising for wheat'n'wine at the local Safeway. Soon enough, David's responsibilities, family, and spiritual life will suffer, as the addiction takes away more and more of the things that make David a good man, father, and king. And the same thing happens to us--those sins have a way of taking over the good parts of our lives. Which leads to...

Self-Control: I once watched a lengthy series on spies. It's amazing how many people got blackmailed into spying because they weren't careful with their money or relationships. And that's something we should worry about as Christians; our weak areas may become areas where we are manipulated easily. If I can't control myself around a dessert table or computer, that's not a healthy sign. Sure, it may not hurt anyone yet, and I do it in my down time...but isn't it embarrassing to admit that Jesus doesn't own you then? That you can't say no to yourself? Also...

Shame: Some things don't hurt anyone, but they are shameful for good reason. Don't be so quick to knock shame! It keeps many of us from our worst tendencies. Ask yourself, can I really do this in front of a friend with a straight face? Pick a friend off facebook list--could you really tell them about this? If you can't, then that free lunch is rotten.

Good vs. Best: Now, sometimes these actions aren't sin by themselves. Maybe I can appreciate a pretty woman walking by without being tempted to fantasize in any way--even strike up a nice conversation with her while I'm at it. But I also have to ask myself--did it really do me any good to watch her walk by? Am I better off for it? Or am I likely to suddenly start fretting about being single, or wish that guy wasn't next to her? If I can't close the deal and actually ask her out, why am I hanging around? Same thing with food--I may enjoy a delicious dessert, but if I have to spend the next hour fighting temptation for a second piece, maybe I should have just skipped dessert altogether. I'd rather have a decent lunch I pay for than a free lunch that churns my stomach.

Back to the Future: Let's suppose all of us who aren't hardcore gamblers swore never to visit a casino, because they hold so many people addicted who spend beyond their means. Would that casino ever have opened to begin with? Yes, it's there when you walk by, and it doesn't hurt the casino much if you, Susan Smith, don't walk in on Tuesday, June 5th. But imagine if every Susan Smith didn't walk in, every day? That casino would be closed in weeks. Arguing that you're not responsible for your choice because there's just one of you is weak; litter laws had to be created precisely because of bad logic like this. Same holds true for sexual matters--yes, the person or video may be available, but if someone like you said "no" years ago, that would never have been available to start with.

Others? I realize it's a touchy topic and not everyone will agree with my choice of sins per se.

To keep up with the series and read from the beginning, just click the DarkSchemes tag.
Marcus clicked the mouse absent-mindedly one more time. This really had to work, or else Ron was not going to be able to to get back that English essay from the bowels of his hard drive. He tensed waiting for the message. Ron squawked over his shoulder "Is it working?" Ah, that Ron--clumsy, socially awkward, and relatively friendless, he walked the dorm halls in solitary fashion. But Marcus felt like he really should help the poor guy, and..."PING"...the search was done. Marcus checked and...No virus! Ron could find his essay now!
"Ok Ron, your computer is fixed again!" Marcus said. "Looks like I still got the touch!"
Ron grinned. "Marcus, thanks so much! I owe you man! It's too bad I don't have any money right now. That took you 2 hours to fix!"
"Ha, I know, but it's no big deal."
Ron suddenly smirked. "Wait, I do have something for you!" He reached under the bed and pulled out a box with a stack of magazines. "This is my brother's full subscription to Jaunty Lad magazine--the hottest women in England, 1990-1999! He gave it to me when I turned 18. I want you to take some of them--here, take the year 1995!"

Oh dear. Our hero/zero Marcus is once more in an awkward situation, patterned loosely around something that happened to me this year. What do you do when someone wants to reward your kindness with an inappropriate gift?! It reminds me of when I was asked to go drinking by a grateful kid I helped tutor, and I was 20...I believe I just stared at him in horror, ha, and poor guy never talked to me after that. That wasn't the right way to handle it. But neither is accepting the gift.

However, it's such a cunning little temptation. Marcus worked hard for Ron, the oily loser of the dorms. He does deserve a reward, right? And Ron is doing this out of love, actually--he may have zero ulterior motives here. He genuinely wants to repay Marcus--this isn't some sort of bait and switch.

But believe it or not, some of this is Marcus' fault too. When Ron says he can't repay Marcus, why doesn't Marcus say "Just help someone else who needs it, pay it forward" or "You can buy me lunch sometime" or even "Don't thank me, thank God, he's why I did it" if Marcus is a Christian? Why leave Ron hanging and obligated? Some of us collect "favors" from people, and like them to feel obligated to us. That's a trap.

Let's suppose Marcus does take the magazines, though, "just for Ron's sake." Here's how these things end up in my experience...

Marcus tossed the magazines on the desk. Eh, maybe he'd look at them later. After all, the girls were pretty hot. He heard a knock, and his roommate Ted came in.
"Marc, what are these magazines? Jaunty Lad, February 1995? Seriously? What is that?!"
"Um, well, Ron gave them to me, and..."
"RON?! The social leper? You're getting your porn from him?"
"Well, uh..."
"Come on man, 1990's porn? Let me guess--Turn-ons, 'Nirvana and flannel shirts'; Turn-offs, 'When AOL won't connect so I can talk to hot guys?' HAHAHAHA It's a college campus, bro, grow up and get rid of those! There are real girls here, you know..."

And it seemed like such a good idea 2 seconds ago in Ron's dorm room! Marcus didn't even look at them, and he's already in for it. In the end, you're still the guy with "contraband", no matter how you try to spin acquiring it. Oh, and thank me later for not making Ron a girl, haha. In the end, I say make sure you are not the one who feels obligated or who collects obligations. The other side of this is, the Marcus' of the world act nice at first, and then demand things because "Ooh, look at all I did for you!" That's just as pathetic; to be direct, ladies, what should a $20 dinner from a guy who dates you mean? Nothing.

See here for intro to the series
Marcus bent down with the lump of salt in his hand, trying to be as still as possible. He had been at this park for a week. The ranger had told him that deer like salt, and so he had been leaving it on the tree trunk to attract them. They had accepted his gift, rather warily, but each day they let him get closer. Today, he would finally see if he could get a deer to lick the salt out of his hand. He waited as the deer sniffed cautiously, but it wanted the salt too badly, and drew closer. Success! He had done it! Sadly, he would only be around for 3 more days, but he would be back the next day with more salt! And the deer seemed to be enjoying the salt cube as well. It was all so lovely!

Sounds great, doesn't it? Marcus has worked hard to gain the deer's trust, and has won it! He's not going to hurt the deer, and the deer, in fact, is gaining a gift out of it! In response, all Marcus wants is the little ego boost or joyful moment from successfully having connected with nature.

I am using this story to talk about a problem that I did not realize could be a problem for several years. When I first came on Xanga, I only knew my brothers and one or two others. They had lots of friends on here; I did not. So I worked hard to get readers, one at a time. I searched blog-rings, found strangers I thought would make good friends, and then recruited as hard as I could to make them readers. I had to get people to trust me, a stranger, or I would be ignored. I learned how, over time, to make friends of strangers, and this has been a beautiful thing! My life has been enriched quite a bit from it. In fact, I've been humbled and awed at how much people are willing to share with me, a mere stranger who took an interest in them and just treated them in a classy, polite fashion. However, I've realized some problems that can occur as I worked hard to get people to see me as a friend, talk to me, and trust me. I realize that me sharing this is a little depressing, but I feel it's critical to warn you to be a little cautious, even when the person befriending you (or that you are befriending) has the best intentions and seems good-hearted. Oh, and please don't think I've been through all four scenarios, or none of the four scenarios. Let's just say I have a good imagination, but yes, I've also had to learn the hard way at times.

Scenario 1: Marcus sighed as he packed his bags and left. It had been a fun 10 days, but it was time to go back. The next day a hunter moved into the cabin. He was cleaning his gun on the stump when he looked up, surprised, to see the deer closing in. His eyes narrowed as he picked up his gun...

The problem is that some people are not smart enough to recognize the difference between Marcus, the kind nature-lover, and a hunter. Suppose a young woman confides in me all sorts of secrets, and I try to comfort and console them as best I can. It's not the best thing for them, though, if it is setting up a pattern for them to be very open and vulnerable with men who are strangers and who would take advantage of that. If it's online or just a temporary meeting, I will not be there long. I am just passing through. It is more responsible to point her to her female friends, to a pastor or counselor, or to some other source. To give advice without responsibility, without being willing to nurture and help the person later on, can be irresponsible. But also...

Scenario 2: Marcus found himself spending more and more time by the stump each day, waiting for the deer to come. He started neglecting his schedule and left the cabin a mess. But what did it matter, compared to the great joy and power he felt when the deer came? And it was only temporary...right? One day the deer did not come, and Marcus found himself depressed. Had he done something wrong? He had tried so hard to make the deer feel comfortable!

Another problem is that sometimes, the person taming the deer feels TOO responsible. They start assuming that they must personally save the deer, and they put a lot of self-esteem into this. However, it's just a deer--a deer that can get food by itself. Marcus is only offering salt, which deer like, but which is not necessary for short-term survival. However, the self-esteem boost and the validation that feeding the deer provides is fueling Marcus. So he may become irrational about how important he really is to the deer, and neglect his true responsibilities. Being specific, you can become obsessed with helping and serving people, to the point that you neglect your own needs and those of others. Your very willingness to serve, your very goodness, could devour you. And of course, it could be pride that is motivating you.

Scenario 3: The deer did not come back before Marcus left. He cursed under his breath--couldn't the deer realize how much work he had taken in taming it? (Alternatively: Marcus found another deer, but this deer would not come closer. Marcus threw rocks at it in rage, frustrated at the deer.)

Does the deer owe Marcus anything? Sure, Marcus fed it salt...but it was free salt. Who can blame the deer for eating the salt? If Marcus is feeding the deer salt more for himself rather than his actually caring for the deer, he will find himself hurt and frustrated very easily. He may even find himself hating deer and trying to do them harm because of his dented pride. We must be sure we truly understand the terms of the friendship; do your best to avoid always being the "taker" or "giver" in a relationship.

Scenario 4: Marcus had never noticed it before, but the deer had an impressive rack. Suddenly, he realized that he could kill the deer that was so obsessed with his salt lick--reach out, grab it by the antlers, and break its neck. The sudden temptation was overwhelming.

Ok, this is the freaky, off-the-wall scenario that chills me to think of, but I can't ignore the possibility. When a person sets themselves in any relationship where they are dominant or have power over the other person, there is a temptation to misuse that power--physically, sexually, emotionally, monetarily, you name it. Even if it hasn't hit you yet, it could arise at any moment. To claim that you are impervious is rather arrogant, and one will pay dearly (or is it deer-ly? sorry) for that mistake. It is fine to try to make friends and find common ground--to help people and minister to their needs--to become a confident, an advisor. But what happens when you start thinking you're not getting enough out of it anymore, or the reward for selling out becomes too great in your eyes? It's like the accountant who gets tired of watching millions pass through their hands. This is how the successful pastor or counselor ends up bedding the woman he was supposed to be helping. This is how people's lives are broken, because someone they trusted took advantage of them.

The posts here aren't intended to be depressing, but instead a kind warning to those who may need it. We can deceive ourselves even when we think we are doing good, and in fact even harm others when we try to do good. A wise man realizes that the hardest temptations to overcome are those when we think we are doing good.

In the Bible, Paul tosses in an interesting comment in the middle of his letter to the Corinthians. He says "...in order that Satan might not outwit us. For we are not unaware of his schemes."

Now, I know that some of my readers don't believe in Satan. I do believe that there are evil supernatural forces in the world. I don't believe a demon hides behind every event, but I do believe that sometimes, the only explanation for unusual events is a supernatural evil force. Try to see if you'll still get something out of the series, though.

I always thought this verse was odd. "Schemes?" What, the devil runs a 3-4 defense with Cover 2 secondary? It sounds so melodramatic. Really, Paul, "schemes?" There's nothing that complex about a desire to steal at Wal-Mart. Why use those words?

But this year, I really do feel that I've run into a lot of "schemes." By schemes, I mean events and people that seemed harmless at first, but all of a sudden revealed immoral possibilities that were harmful. I don't wish to inspire paranoia in my readers. But I do believe that too often, we forget that evil can be complex and deep-rooted. Underestimating our own desires or the power of the devil (or, if it better sits with you, fate or circumstance) can not only be foolish, it can be fatal. I'll be describing three schemes that I have noticed over the years. They are the tame deer, the free lunch, and the stringed present. We'll see how this goes, but I haven't tested my audience for a while.