Last one for tonight on the beauty series, and thanks for your many comments. I know there was something transactional about today, but I thought it would be fun to try something a little different. I was feeling stale writing-wise, and this is my way of doing something new. I'll try to go back and answer them quickly. This last one is short and sweet and inspired by a post done by Myxldove sometime ago. It also helps balance out what I said in the last post.

I truly believe that Beauty is stillness, but Attractiveness is motion. Many a woman and man do not look so great in their still, posed photos, but are very alluring when you talk to them and see them in action. The person who relies merely on photos or aiming for the person who sounds and acts sexiest may be disappointed. There's nothing objective about your lover; it's deeply subjective and they should touch you at the core of what it means to be you.

Real life isn't a wedding portrait. Real life is constant motion, and it takes a special person to seem even more attractive the faster they must move and talk and act. Beauty may be in the eye of the beholder, as the saying goes. But attractiveness happens when you feel like the ONLY beholder...or it feels like it is just you and them and no one else in the world.

As a "nice, serious guy" and a Christian guy who reads a lot of advice for nice, earnest, and/or Christian folk, I'm used to the stereotyping of our gender. Most guys (and occasionally girls) are seen as ungrateful malcontents who would be married by now if they'd just stop trying to marry a supermodel and lower their beauty standards. There is some fairness to this comment, trust me, and I think guys can definitely be too picky. There's also an unfortunate trend towards just wanting whatever society says is most beautiful to boost your own self-esteem.

However, the dark side is that Christian guys feel pressure to like the right kind of girl, even if they don't find her beautiful. Christian culture tries to tell us we're selfish, that our minds have been corrupted by TV images and readily available Internet smut if we don't like Plain Jane from First Baptist. We should just find a nice, sensible girl to settle down with and all would be fine. Really?

Fact is, plenty of women that some parts of society deem unattractive get married. But without sexual attraction to the other person's beauty, there can't be a relationship. And given those supposed corrupting TV images don't stop after marriage, what chance does your nice Christian guy have of staying married if he doesn't have an intense physical attraction to his spouse to begin with? Believe it or not, some Christian guys have tried to like a girl because it seemed like the right thing to do, because she had a lot of good qualities, even though she didn't physically attract them. They stay with the wrong girl for far too long, hoping that somehow they'll see beauty in her. I don't think it works that way. I think a guy assesses beauty on the spot, and very rarely does it change over time. But I think that women may indeed change their perception of a guy's beauty over time, which makes comparing the sexes confusing. Prove me wrong?

EDIT: I know I'll get some flack for apparently mixing Christian and nice in this blog. I'm talking more about the intersection--"That nice Christian boy down the street" rather than saying all nice people are Christian or what have you.

I felt like starting some arguments tonight about our thoughts and perceptions of beauty. Here's how the game goes. I posted the first excerpt here, and this is the second one. Once I get 10 individual comments on it, I'll post the next one and direct everyone there. If not, I'll just save the other excerpts for some other day. This little blogging exercise ends at midnight. Feel free to write your own on the theme, and tag me, I'll recommend as long as it's not R-rated or what not.

Imagine you are seated in a room where several average-looking people are gathered for a meeting. Suddenly a beautiful person walks into the room. It's obvious by their clothes and looks that they not only are beautiful but know how to best present their beauty. What's your response as the heads turn and the bodies shift?

I have to admit, my response is to be repelled. For me, the battle lines were drawn long ago, and beautiful people are on the other side. They are style over substance and simple over smart. Unfair? Sure it is, and so is the way our society treats the beautiful compared to the ugly. Beautiful people have everything come easy to them. Why should I contribute to the societal imbalance? I'll go find an ugly person to talk to. Yes, I've worked to not be so biased against the beautiful people, and I've improved, but I think I'll always feel that way. Prove me wrong? Why do beautiful people deserve to be treated differently?

I felt like starting some arguments tonight about our thoughts and perceptions of beauty. Here's how the game goes. I'll post the first excerpt now. Once I get 10 individual comments on it, I'll post the next one and direct everyone there. If not, I'll just save the other excerpts for some other day. This little blogging exercise ends at midnight. Feel free to write your own on the theme, and tag me, I'll recommend as long as it's not R-rated or what not.

I.
When it comes to beauty, do we only find beauty in what we are used to? Do we have a bias towards the familiar? I saw a lovely woman who seemed to be Latin American today as I was walking. There was a hilariously absurd moment when my brain thought "Oh yeah! Latinas! I forgot that they could be so pretty." Ridiculous, right? Where I live, there are not that many Latin Americans. And so, it is almost out-of-sight, out-of-mind.
But let's suppose that many of us only do find beauty in the familiar rather than the exotic. Isn't it problematic, then, that so few women of color are on TV? (Good luck finding an attractive black woman who is a regular character on HBO most seasons, for example...). That's where, for many boys undergoing puberty, they start realizing what they like in a woman. And if those boys can't see examples of black beauty* on, say, the 8PM sitcom, doesn't that provide a large obstacle for women of color to overcome? Prove me wrong?

*There's also an additional, general argument that when other races are shown on TV, they often dress, look, and act in ways we tend to associate more with white America.