September 30, 2009

  • Mildly Mean Month: Cancel Your Sexual Press Conference!

    Rated "C", because I heart the Xanga rating system, haha.

    "I'm so horny right now"
    "That is such a turn-on"
    How many of us have heard phrases like that before? I hear them a fair amount and see them in print. What amuses me most is when they are spoken or typed to a large audience. I can understand wanting to tell your special someone that you would like to have some private time. But isn't there something dreadfully silly of needing to inform other people of this who are neither part of the problem nor part of the solution? Look, no one's going to feel sorry for you, ha, it happens to us all. You don't need to call a sexual press conference to convince us that you have sexual urges! We can assume it's true without confirmation, thank you very much.

    I mean, if some guy tells me "that girl over there turns me on", what am I supposed to do about it?! haha. I mean, either the turn-on is so obvious that it defeats the purpose to say anything (e.g., a very attractive woman crosses our path), or the turn-on is so subtle that it scares me that you noticed (flip-flops? really?!). I don't need a status update informing me that you are devoid of good judgment and open for business, or that your hormones have now gained full control over your larynx and are trumpeting your need for some action to anyone in earshot.

    Now, I'm sure I've fallen for this too at times. My last two posts were about breasts and singles, ha, I'm pretty sure that's not the most subtle topic choice in the world. But seeing it from an objective viewpoint--it seems silly at best and manipulative at worst. However, what's bizarre about it is that people do indeed seem to assume that people who don't talk about sex a lot aren't interested in it. This is an interesting issue that deserves its own post at some point...

    I admit that a lot of my entries this month have been on the side of what may be termed "repression"--of the need to sit down, cover up, and close one's mouth. I come from a very open culture, where people speak their minds easily about a lot of things. But I fear that the pendulum has swung so far in the opposite direction, that people are losing their sense of self. Where is privacy? individuality? secrecy? Aren't those important values too? Isn't there a balance somewhere in our culture? Or are our secrets currency, meant to open doors and win us friends as we strip ourselves bare of pretense and let each fact fall out of our mouths to what we hope is receptive ground?

    An odd way to close Mildly Mean Month, but just some scattered thoughts that I decided to post.

Comments (20)

  • Have you seen textsfromlastnight.com?  Yeah.

    Today I typed to a friend, a single dad at work:
    "do you read Geek Dad?"
    "you calling me dad while asking me if I read Geek? kinda hot"

    Some people just find it entertaining, and I for one, am not a prude and don't terribly mind... but then again, I work essentially in the guys' locker room.

  • Honestly, I think that modesty is the most important policy when it comes to public affairs.

    To anyone who may disagree, especially when it comes to blogs:
    If you're speaking to a general audience, for the sake of the 15 year old boy (or your little brother/sister) that is going to stumble across your page at some point in time, please, please, please, please just tone it down a bit and don't say anything that you wouldn't say in front of your parents. Oh, that's right, parents have access to the internet now and most of them have actually figured out how to maneuver it.

  • The end of mildly mean month. What is next month?

  • I have to agree.  I sometimes think we reveal too much. It's kind of easy to get caught up in it if that's not something you want to do either.  

  • I was raised to be open and honest with people. It's hard for me to be anything else. If someone asks me a question and I choose to answer it they can be sure that they are getting the truth. I do sometimes tell too much. The more I talk to someone the more likely it is that I will tell them something that when I look at it in retrospect I probably shouldn't have said. However, I think some comments are not really about being honest they are more about drawing attention to oneself.

  • hahha one time someone said to my friend "i'm horny, let's have sex" i'm like yeah, that'll work, that's a good one.

    It's just sort of annoying when there are those people that always have to express it to everyone haha.

  • But isn't there something dreadfully silly of needing to inform other
    people of this who are neither part of the problem nor part of the
    solution?

    hahahahahaha
    good point. and why do some guys watch porn together or go to strip clubs? The only pleasure they get is staring longingly into each other's eyes.... Unless you pay the stripper to come home.

  • Mad props on the title.

  • @echois23 - I'll also note, that the reason I started a blog initially, was that I was accused by my closest friends of hiding things, of being too closed off and secretive.  I lost the friendship of a couple people, who I believe to be good friends at the time, because they thought I was lying to them.  In reality, my life was taking a different path, i.e. graduate school and a research career rather than marriage/kids and part-time or temporary jobs.  But, I was so scared of losing everything close to me that I put myself out... on the internet (not on xanga).  This of course also backfired, as people really don't want to hear the truth, or they read it differently and get upset at their own assumptions.

    @dAzEdNdEfUSED - At any rate, simple is best.  My parents have been on xanga and Facebook for years.

  • I, too, heart the Xanga rating system!  We're so cool! 

    And I say, "Amen to that!" Wait...umm...I need to learn a thing or two about keeping secrets secret. Darn Xanga! It's always tricking me into writing too much!

  • basically your saying people without a life resort to stupidity?  Or maybe it's just the dumbing down of the schools with standardized testing, where the focus isn't upon learning but keeping the federal dollars flowing in.

  • I agree with you.  My friends will often be like, "oh, i'm so horny". Uh, oh I'm so sorry.  I can't do anything except be noticeably uncomfortable with your TMI statement.

    Anyway, i like you mean or nice.  Keep it up haha.

    Also, thank you for the rec!

  • Great points. Reminds me of a great saying: She's a lady on the street and a tiger in the bedroom. ;) That's what we all ought to strive for!

  • @weedorwildflower - That sounds exactly what my Nona always told me a true southern lady should be. LOL

  • WOW, I AM SO SCREWED!!  Lately, I've been writing about a LOT more than just being in the mood.... As far as broadcasting I guess you'd have to say I act like a major network...

  • people don't have the sense of privacy, or appropriateness that they should. i think you're right, they're important qualities that are being forgotten more and more.

  • For Christians, the question we should be asking about what we write and all we do: Does it glorify God?

    Certainly, we may be led to share our burdens/concerns w/ a close friend or two close friends, so they might be praying for us, be able to encourage/edify us, but otherwise, we need to go to the Lord Himself. He knows us better than ourselves, He knows our urges and the desires of our heart. Our heavenly Father will not withhold anything good from those who walk uprightly.

  • agreed. i really really hope you posted this on facebook. i'm half inclined to share it on facebook, because shoot...some people need to lay off. especially the married couples who think that it's their job to inform us how hott their spouse is.

  • I think I may have missed a very interesting month of blogs........ going back and reading them all... =)

  • @naphtali_deer - Definitely.  This is something I need to remember more.

    Also, out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks... what you think about is what you'll talk about. If nothing else, you'll disguise it nicely in a prayer request, but the general message might be "I'm feeling horny."

    I can't quite agree with you that it's stupid, people just do it.  We have to express ourselves, even the nastier parts.

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