October 7, 2009
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Oh Be Careful...About Being Careful?
October is Guest Month--don't forget to send in your posts to me via message or email! See previous post for more info. This post is written by me, and hopefully it's the last one I write this month.
Being friends with so many interesting people on the 'net, I tend to read a lot of stories and have a lot of events relayed to me on instant message. I enjoy this! It feels fun to learn about how other people live and experience other people's lives.
However, I am frustrated by how many bad decisions there are out there. I read the aftermath of said bad decisions in blogs, and it scars me and warns me. Thus, it seems like I can never completely cheer for someone's decision to pursue a boyfriend/girlfriend, or try a new career, or move across the country. It always feels like there are red flags or warning signs. For example, one reader is going to Hawaii to meet a man she is interested in. She is in her 20's and smart. I would love to just tell her "Go for it! What an adventure!" but my gut is screaming "Be careful! What are his motives?! Be careful!" Stupid oldest brother complex, ha--why must I always feel I have to warn everyone? I can't be daddy to half the web!
It feels like all I can say any more is "Be careful", sigh. What happened to virtuous people that I can recommend wholeheartedly? Where are trustworthy men and women? One shouldn't have to spend every moment in constant watchfulness and caution.Yet I just have so much concern for my friends lately...even though I am probably more naive than most of them, haha. The problem is, I'm right way too often, and when I keep my mouth shut, friends get burned. Sigh.
One of this month's themes is finding something you never had. I'd like to find more trust in my fellow human beings, more trust in God, and more trust in myself. But I don't think I can without a miracle,
Comments (16)
You must worry a lot. You need to hang out with me sometime and I will take you out and we will break a few laws. Just for kicks.
He is in the miracle business. None of us are really trustworthy on our own. If we were then we would not need Jesus. Caution is a good thing but paranoia is not. I'm praying that you will find the balance. You are very good at discovering and bringing to light truths which is a Godly thing, but the sin side to that gift is that can leave you cynical and jaded.
That's how I feel most of the time when I read other's blogs. I probably couldn't have put it in words without sounding conceited though.
Even tho' for myself I'm a jump in with my heart and both feet kinda' person, I do worry about other people a lot. Especially people in their 20's and 30's. I guess 'cause they're the age of my own kids and I have an insight into the world they are trying to navigate. In the few years I've been around Xanga, I've kinda' become a mom or older sister of sorts to some people. So I understand your "big brother" feelings.
I hope this friend of yours is safe and the person she is meeting will be a good friend to her.
I've been hurt by people in "xangaland" and in the "real world", but I keep reaching out to make friends, to help people. Most of them have been trustworthy. Oh, my naive heart has been scammed by a few, hurt by a few, but for the most part I've met some really amazing people.
HUGS!
Sometimes I wish people would speak up and give me advice... I feel like I don't have very many people that actually do.
i can be a such a cynic. i can't be candid about my feelings and problems with even a modicum of gravity. i can't trust people not to think ill of me or not judge me harshly. i guess that's what protected posts are for. still, i can only write about my opinion on matters, not about the real personal things in my life. if i did, i'd feel as though i were to have betrayed someone. as far as rooting for someone on xanga who makes a decision i don't deem wise--i don't always know what to say. i don't consider myself wise enough. but when i feel strongly about something i speak up. it has made some friends a tad defensive, as well as those who are their so-called loyal friends. bleh
I have a similar concern. You can only say so much to people, and then it's sad because then down the road we often do see people getting hurt and burned, etc. I'm talking here particularly about Christians. We all can convince ourselves we are in the will of God one way or the other. We presume to think since God is our loving Father (which He is), we have some reason to think we need to push ahead and demand our way rather than trusting that He still loves us when He withholds something we think would be good for us. We have to remember that Satan appears as an angel of light. The devil makes steering away from God's will to appear to us like we are in God's will...
Psalm 84:11 reminds us God will not withhold anything good from those who walk uprightly (by uprightly: those who are His by grace through faith, covered w/ the blood of Christ, His righteousness) and then the Psalm finishes w/ the reminder that we are blessed when we trust in Him. When we don't trust in His ways, His provision for us, we remove ourself from His blessing and protection and are setting ourselves up for trouble. Of course, the true believer can never totally leave His care but in His loving discipline, He will allow us to travel down that prodigal road for some time until we ended up in the pig sty and then return to our senses and turn back Home. We always have to remember that God knows the desires of our hearts better than we do. His thoughts and His ways are always higher than ours.
Aww, I hope I'm not one of those people you feel like you have to sort of worry about!
You're cautious because you are a realist. Wanting to warn people can be a most difficult way of life. You might end up offering yourself up for everyone to use your empathy and then bailing out of the whole thing.
Here I am to safe the day! *cue Mighty Mouse theme music*
I've only been scammed by one person on Xanga and hurt by two in the real world. So does this mean I'm smarter or don't know enough people?
I totally relate to this and I pray for the same miracle in myself.
as for the friend going to hawaii. sure it's an adventure, but when it comes to romance I think intentions don't seem honorable unless the man is making the trip. but heck...I had a guy friend in hawaii that I wasn;t interested in and went for a visit cuz it hawaii for goodness sake
Maybe hang around more trustworthy people.
But I originally was going to say drink more...
Other than the occasionally morbid poem, I'm usually a safe rec... if I got back into posting more "bloggy" type posts.
See you in ... like .... a week!
Nice post.
I think your tendency to warn is a sign of your aversion to pain. Also, an indication of your lack of trust in God, as you mentioned at the end.
As soon as you realize that pain cannot be avoided, and that people should encounter, and yes, even embrace pain as a fact of life, you'll let people run their course. "Be careful" is still a good reminder, but you can do so as a person reminding someone, rather than a person who is worrying.
If there is ever a post I would want to do, it would be that pain is good.
"Trust in the Lord with all thine heart and lean not unto thine own understanding."
I've been one of those people (prolly still am! if I'm honest, lol) where I've gotten burned (I guess I shoulda subscribed to your site long ago!
) but all kidding aside, if I just listen to the exhortation of this verse I think I would not be dealing with the after-affects of bad decisions. Totally on the same wavelength of your post here...
Having said that, how beautifully God weaves broken stories to fabricate a radiant masterpiece! Shattering always has to come first and it's hard to watch, but how else can God be seen putting the pieces together? A vessel for His using. It's like He's saying, "Stay tuned...don't stop reading till you get to the end of the story."
Your heart for people is beautiful brother. Keep listening, keep sharing - it is needed, especially for the younger generation. I know it's hard. I've been there myself, though I am prolly not as good at listening and being there as you are. I appreciate what Bokgwai shared - I need to remind myself of that point, good balance.
Lastly, something the Lord is teaching me, and I'm sorry this is long, I hope I'm not sounding too "preachy" is I can't trust people UNLESS I'm trusting God. Somehow and I mean SOMEHOW he works EVERYTHING together for good to those who truly love Him, including the turning of people's hearts.
I know what you mean, you don't know if you should encourage them, or warn them. Be an optimist or a pessimist.
It looks like you always figure it out, though. After all, you still have friends right?
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