November 18, 2010

  • Playing Scrabble for My Soul (PHOTOS)

    I recently embarked on a trip to Texas for business. (I work for NOYB--google it for more details. Guffaw.) While there I had a very nice dinner with Ravnr that made me put my guard down when it came to the locals. How can I be suspicious after a pleasant Italian dinner like this one? Look at our well-fed smiles of cheeriness!

    Sadly, my youthful naivete soon would be tested beyond the bounds of reason. I later went out to meet Quell, who promised me a fun night of Scrabble, but hinted that the game is taken VERY seriously in Texas. I still went to meet her, because she looks Greek. She first convinced me that in Texas, people greet one another by waving both hands. "When in Rome" and so I quickly complied:

    I should have known something was up by her black outfit and dour demeanor. But like an idiot, I kept babbling about how Texas seems a lot friendlier than I expected and generally behaved like a tourist. Then, I did it...I started making fun of Scrabble and asking why we were playing such a childish game rather than having grown-up fun. The mood quickly changed. NEVER mock a Scrabble professional.

    Suddenly the wind picked up, and a howling sound filled the room. "GREEK, APOLOGIZE OR I WILL EAT YOUR SOUL" Quell snarled. I suddenly felt my face began to melt. In horror, I felt my internal organs start to shake and swirl. I felt like I had seconds to live as this wraith moved towards me threateningly:

    I quickly gurgled for mercy, and we began to play. As punishment for my insolence, I was forced to keep a sign on my forehead at all times. I bore it stoically, realizing that Quell had power to do much, much worse. Besides, she said something about cupcakes if I behaved.

    Finally, the game was over. I lost to a cocky young gentleman, yet managed to keep some honor. That one big word is mine. Which one? Um...err...I forget.

    Chastened and humbled, I fled Texas with neither a cowboy hat on my head nor boots on my feet. "Don't Mess with Texas" is no joke. And I never got any cupcakes either. But I did get to meet two wonderful Xanga friends in person, and at least my soul is still housed inside my body (pats heart)...Hey, wait a minute...why do I have this scar on my chest? HEY!
    EDIT: Forgive me, for I have timestamped. Original post went up after midnight yesterday, so I...updated it. I am a sell-out (bows head guiltily).

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