January 12, 2011

  • That's Not My Basement, That's the VIP Room

    I've noticed that a lot of Xangans have been splitting their blogs into public/protected posts, or using a second, more private blog. It makes sense. But what doesn't make sense is that, the second we're told that something is protected or special, we immediately want it so badly. Why do us humans work this way?

    Let me encourage you to do an experiment. Go around telling people that you have a secret, but you're not sure you want to share it yet. Pick something that you would be comfortable sharing. You'll be surprised how having something that is limited-edition makes it seem so much more important and rare. "You have a secret? Oh really! Um, well, I keep good secrets...I'd love to know...is it about Joe?...give me a hint!" Your friends immediately prioritize you just because they think they are getting something that other people are not getting. We all want to feel special...unfortunately, we often want to feel special at the expense of others.

    I have to confess, I am so easily seduced by the concept of being special. I'd drive a special education bus for weeks just to be special. I think I still have kindergarten gold stars stuck on books. I only watch the sitcom "Two and a Half Men" when I want to hate my life. But if you told me that there was a special, behind-the-scenes look at the show, I'd watch it for twenty minutes before remembering my hatred. "Oh my goodness! Look at Charlie brush his teeth in the trailer! It's like I was there! Holy molars!" You can be the most boring person on earth, but when I hear "I wrote this just for you" my reaction is a little like this. It's a shame, actually.

    So how to combat this human tendency, besides getting a life and stop being so nosy? (Ridiculous!). Well...if you can't stop it, profit. "That's not my basement...it's the VIP Room." Re-brand everything to make people think that they have a special connection with you that no one else has. I'm limited-edition, you all. I'm super-special and rare! When you call me, you are the only person talking to me, you are special! (except for the two people on Skype, the person I'm texting, and the other person on Facebook chat...). No, no, I'm not a bored person looking to talk to anyone. I have rare skills, and I am very selective! I can't believe you got past my bodyguards!

    Now, if your comment is good enough, I will reply to your comment and only your comment on this post with a hand-selected, personal message of goodwill just for you! No one else is getting this treatment! I totally am not copy-pasting the same message 20 times. You are special...just like everyone else.

Comments (23)

  • Lol! What a blog. 

  • I know this wasn't about it...but it made me think of sexuality and why "protected" or "private" means so much when we keep ourselves sexually pure for our spouse.  (Sex on the brain, Amy?)

  • Let me guess, you wrote this just for me, right? ^.^

  • Gold star for this post! heehee

  • The prairie dog video cracked me up!

  • I know I am special so send me my special message now and get it over with.

    Not that I normally except such messages. I am a busy woman, normally I leave such things unread. But for for you and a few others, I always make an exception.

  • Great points. We are all special...just a lot of us forget that often. :P

  • @NightCometh - How true that is.

  • Special, you say? Yeah, you're 'special', alright... :P  

    Naw, I'm just poking a little fun at you. *poke poke poke*

  • um, that's weird. i know people do it, but still. i don't say anything on here that's worth keeping secret. if i wanted to share secrets, i'd call people, or make an email list and send out newsletters. this multiple identities thing makes my head hurt. 

  • Yeah, I never understand when someone 'advertises' that they have posted a private post.  If it is private then why advertise it?  If you are on the person's private list then you are going to get to read it.  If you are not, then you need never know about it.

  • I haven't made any protected posts on my Xanga yet, but only because I'm still new-ish to this and thus don't have enough "friends" on here to make it worthwhile, lol. But, since I have sign-in locked enabled, I think that's pretty sufficient to eliminate most internet people who won't want to go through the hassle of creating an account just to read and whatever.

    But, if I ever do get a lot more personal on here, I can definitely see how protected posts would be helpful. It's basically just an additional layer of privacy, know what I mean?

  • I LOVED this!  Re: the prairie dog video - I feel enlightened since I'd not found my way to the dark side of YouTube. 

    Apologies that there was no "you are SPECIAL" mini.

  • You are the only Xangan I have ever read. Nobody else. I made this site just so I could read and comment on your site.

  • I'm on Friends Lock.  So, you know, if you want to know what I think about this, you'll have to friend me.  That's the only way to read my super-secret Friends Lock late-night post (titled as such).

  • You should totally be able to relate to your own post because you were special enough for me to accept your Friend request. That's a rare feat. So feel special. Very special.

  • Sure thing snowflake.  Some good insights here but do I detect a hint of sarcasm?

  • This is brilliant. I could see you being an excellent motivational speaker for an advertisement company. Maybe not where you wanted to go with this post (more so personal motivation), but it would do well for advertisers putting an item on the market, lol.

  • i was going to leave a comment here, but what i wanted to say is secret. sorry, im just not ready to share.

  • Oh is it? I didn't know that. Hmmm 

  • I think humans are drawn to exclusivity in general.

  • Why is that? What is in our DNA that we can't handle secrets? Ok, maybe not DNA but certainly societal influences. We all like to think we are unique and, when someone plays into that, it's an ego boost.

    I do have to say, there are some people out there who make you feel like the most important person in the world when you talk to them. They all tend to be highly successful (at least in my experience). I can't remember if it was a college course or a speaker but I remember learning the tricks to good communication and the biggest one was making the other person feel as though they have your full, undivided attention (even if it wasn't the case). If you make the other person feel special, they are more willing to share information too.

    On the otherhand, vague posts on facebook/xanga/twitter, etc about anything turn me off immediately. People baiting others to ask questions drives me crazy (and not in a "I need to know" type of way)! I've caught myself doing it now and then which is not cool.

  • *L0L* I admit to having a couple of blog pages, but that is because I use one for writing about my every day life and one for creative writing... not because I have a special secret

    SUMR

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