August 15, 2012
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What would the Sexually Ideal Church Look Like?
What would a church look like that would truly reflect the Bible's teachings on sex and physical intimacy?
I. Love for all. The church strongly believes in serving each other and loving each other. That church is well aware that oftentimes, people fall into sexual sin because basic needs for affection are not being met. While not excusing such sin, church members go out of their way to show love to each other. Affection, gracious words, hugs, and servanthood for all are the norm, without regard to sexual desirability.
Verse: Hebrews 10:25 "We should not stop gathering together with other believers, as some of you are doing. Instead, we must continue to encourage each other even more as we see the day of the Lord coming."II. Protection and Purity. Given this atmosphere of love and trust, the church is protective of its members. Sexual sin is taken seriously and confessed. No one is blacklisted for sexual inclinations. The church welcomes those with tendencies towards deviant sexuality who genuinely are striving to change. However, those whose sexual appetites are causing damage to the church are asked to leave and repent (such as the tale when a man was dating his father's wife, in the New Testament). Counseling is available as needed, and the church believes in teaching sinners how to be pure, and that purity is possible for all, no matter what mistakes or inclinations they have.
Verse: I Thessalonians 4:4-6 "that each of you should learn to control his own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the heathen, who do not know God; and that in this matter no one should wrong his brother or take advantage of him. The Lord will punish men for all such sins, as we have already told you and warned you."III. Singles: Singles are encouraged to work hard on serving others and keeping busy rather than indulging themselves, dating randomly, or becoming bitter. The church refuses to prefer married people to single people, honoring both equally. The church actively tries to help those seeking to be married and does its best to find them Christian spouses. Dating is not discouraged, but the church instead teaches its singles to treat each other as brothers and sisters rather than as prospects. Married folk explain the beauty and struggles of marital relationships to single folk, and make a convincing case why sex within marriage is far better than sex without marriage. The church realizes that singles would try harder to be sexually pure if married folk showed singles that the marriage relationship is intensely rewarding.
Verse: I Timothy 5:2 "Treat older women as you would your mother, and treat younger women with all purity as you would your own sisters."IV. Married: Younger married folk are mentored and guided by older marriage folk. The church intentionally creates a chain of connection, where older members of each gender are encouraged and exhorted to watch after and help younger members. Mentorship is taken seriously. The church realizes that marital love is not always natural: many of us need to be taught how to love, how our partner receives love, what sexual fulfillment is about, and how to show appreciation to each other. Without being taught these things, love fades and marriages break up.
Verse: Titus 2:4 "That they [older women] may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children,"
Comments (16)
love this post! If churches were more like that it would be wonderful!
The heart of everything in Christ is relationship. Right relationship with God, right relationship with fellow believers, right family relationships, and inviting/drawing others to relationship with God and others. Christ centered people in Christ centered families. The is what the Church of Jesus Christ is to look like. Exceptional post bro!
My experience has been that churches completely ignore singles and fall all over themselves for young couples.
It is so funny, because the last blog I posted on here dealth with being single in the church.
Please come visit my site and read if you have time!
This is really such a good blog because it points out a lot of inconsistencies, between what the church is doing and what the scripture is telling the church to do or hwo to be towards one another. Great Blog!
@joyouswind - That's because young couples are a source of children and therefore a source of additional manpower. The more couples they can keep in the church, the more likely they can keep up their attendance.
As for this list - I would actually add that ideally the church would not worry about striking a dichotomy between singlehood and marriage; indeed, it can work on emphasizing the personal spiritual growth of the people; whether they are called to marriage or singlehood in the process, should not have to make an impact, I think. The church authority is the representative of Christ on Earth, not the representative of eHarmony or Christian Mingle or whatever other things people use nowadays.
The first nine verses of 1 Corinthians 7 sums up my thoughts on the matter.
Very intelligent post. I especially like the part about the Church trying to help singles who want to be married (it's tough out there nowadays).
Great ideas. This is how my church is, and I'm really glad.
@QuantumStorm - "As for this list - I would actually add that ideally the church would not worry about striking a dichotomy between singlehood and marriage; indeed, it can work on emphasizing the personal spiritual growth of the people; whether they are called to marriage or singlehood in the process, should not have to make an impact, I think."
Definitely agree with this, and this is my church's approach, which I love.
Love it! Great post!
"The church realizes that singles would try harder to be sexually pure if married folk showed singles that the marriage relationship is intensely rewarding." - Yes, but even above and beyond that, if it were taught that relationship with God through Jesus Christ is THE HIGHEST REWARD, a reward FAR ABOVE marriage and all other rewards..as Charles Wesley penned, "Love Divine, ALL loves excelling...," the appeal of and desire for sexual sin and all other sin would begin to diminish as well.
Philippians 3:8 Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord.
Psalm 90:14 Satisfy us in the morning with your steadfast love, that we may rejoice and be glad all our days.
Wow, really great - I think the church doesn't go into enough depth on ... well,... on a lot of topics, actually, but how Christ is shown in marriage and in singleness is neglected. I can't tell you how often I am made to feel that my story isn't complete without a man by well meaning brothers and sisters.
Good post.
One thing I think would be helpful is to include that the church doesn't pressure people to be married. Just because marriage is the cultural norm, doesn't mean everyone should get married.
This will never happen... but it's a great ideal.
I was in a church like this....... then I had to move. And cannot find another church with this kind of environment (among some other aspects which make for a truly great church). It's sad. :/
Great post, though. You definitely hit the nail on the head.
As an idealist at heart, I loved this post. Did you really come up with this by yourself? It is genius and fantastic, all in one.
Verse: I Timothy 5:2 "Treat older women as you would your mother, and
treat younger women with all purity as you would your own sisters." <--the world would be a much better place if more men did this in my opinion
1Thess 4:4-6 ... That is what I want to focus on and make more clear for myself on how to keep me and my body more holy and pure. Thank you for sharing this post!
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