June 24, 2013

• Marriage as Sexual Fortress: Paul and the Corinthians, Part I

  Christians today often complain that the Bible is incomplete. We wish that the Bible talked more about some subjects. We wonder if the Bible reflects cultural biases when it talks about others. But sometimes, we may have overlooked the verses that do talk about the subject in question. I've always wanted to do a short series on I Corinthians Chapters 6-7, in which Paul talks frankly about sex, marriage, celibacy, and difficult partners. Read with me, if you wish.

  Paul was writing Corinthians, Greeks who had very permissible attitudes about sex. You can read Wikipedia's "Prostitution in Ancient Greece" as a quick guide. For example, one Greek said "We have courtesans for pleasure, concubines to provide for our daily needs, and our spouses to give us legitimate children and to be the faithful guardians of our homes." Ancient Athenian men did not marry until 30, on average. Yet they had access to a large network of prostitutes, both women and young boys, and it was socially acceptable to turn to such to fulfill their needs. (I thought it particularly amusing and sad that they have found sandals worn by prostitutes, that had "Follow me" written on the bottom of the shoes so that they would create signs for men to follow them to brothels).

  In the midst of such sexual chaos, Paul directly attacked the quote above. He instructed the Corinthian church that married couples have sexual obligations to each other that must be regularly fulfilled. Paul's advice on sex is that married couples have a duty to consistently fulfill each other's sexual needs. Both are owned by each other, and have no excuses for not having sex with each other except for a mutually agreed sexual truce for religious reasons. I elaborate below, if you're still reading:

  The passage is as follows:

  "But because there is so much immorality, every man should have his own wife, and every woman should have her own husband. A man should fulfill his duty as a husband, and a woman should fulfill her duty as a wife, and each should satisfy the other's needs.  A wife is not the master of her own body, but her husband is; in the same way a husband is not the master of his own body, but his wife is. Do not deny yourselves to each other, unless you first agree to do so for a while in order to spend your time in prayer; but then resume normal marital relations. In this way you will be kept from giving in to Satan's temptation because of your lack of self-control."

  I encourage you to read the passage and any commentaries on your own. (I like this one, for example). But, for what it's worth, I did my best to explain the passage. Paul had a bias towards the single life, and admitted it. But he made clear that married people are to be engaged in fulfilling each other's needs. Interestingly, when it comes to sex, Paul promotes gender equality. The wife is the master of her husband's body, just as he is of hers. There is no assumption that one gender is more or less interested in sex than the other. When asked if Paul is at all relevant in the modern age, I bring up this passage as proof that Paul was able to escape the cultural biases of his time about sexuality.

  Paul is also intentionally lashing out against the Greek view of marriage not being for sexual pleasure. Ancient Greek Man, you say your wife is only for children, and prostitutes are for sex? No, your wife's body is yours, and you are obligated to her. You cannot turn to prostitutes for sexual pleasure (More on this in Part II). You cannot take breaks because she does not please you in some way. Ancient Greek Man, you may plead a lack of self-control, but that is all the more reason why you should be available for your wife's sexual desires and vice-versa. In fact, I think the English version is almost too mild when it says "master;" the connotation is very much one wielding authority over another. However, note that both have this authority over the other. There is no permission for the husband to act as the sole dominant sexual authority in the marriage.

  He also, interestingly enough, is correcting some Greeks who thought that there was something impure about sex itself. In my opinion, Paul puts sex in a similar category to food in the end of the passage. Sex, like food, can be abstained from when the Christian is seeking for greater closeness to God and praying and fasting. But that does not mean that sex or food are wicked by themselves. Sadly, the ancient church often seemed to think that abstention for its own sake was holiness. In my opinion, Paul is trying to tell them "Look, you are surrounded by prostitutes (see beginning of passage), how can you dare run the risk of not having sex with your wife and then believing that you won't have sex with a prostitute?" There are sad/funny anecdotes about holy men wanting to prove their holiness by sleeping in the same bed as virgins. As you may guess, that didn't turn out well. I also point out that given Paul's advice, there are no sexually unilateral decisions in marriage. Even when wanting to abstain from sex in order to pray, Paul says both partners must agree. Let that sink in for a moment, on how marriage removes one's sexual authority over oneself and replaces it with authority over another.

  Finally, Paul is not only talking about sex here. He first emphasizes the husband fulfilling his duty as a husband. Going to the Greek for the literal translation, the word used for "duty" is also used to mean "debt." Paul is saying, the husband owes the wife, and the wife owes the husband. There are two possibilities as to Paul's exact inspiration, both of which overlap to some extent:
  1) Paul may be drawing on Jewish tradition here, in terms of the Ketubah. The Ketubah indicates that the husband owes the wife food, clothing, and sex and is his promise to fulfill those things.
  2) Paul is referring to affection and love (for example, in Romans 13 he speaks of the debt to love one another). By instructing the husband first, he may be repeating his thought in Ephesians 5 that the husband's first responsibility is to love his wife completely.

  In the end, I'm struck by the portrayal of the Corinthians, surrounded by sexual opportunity, just as we are today. Sure, the Corinthians didn't have electronic sexual opportunities, but neither do we have open prostitution offers while we're on our way to Starbucks in the morning. As a result, Paul wants sex in marriage to be a sort of fortress. Paul points out that Satan will always be tempting one to have sex, and that long abstention will make it easier to lose control and have sex outside of the marriage. (There's some interesting ramifications there for the single person, which I'll get into soon enough). Next time I'll explore Paul's response to those who said "Our bodies are made for sex, so why shouldn't we have sex with whomever?"

  • 7:34 pm
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