July 11, 2017

• Dr. Regret and Mr. All Good

  I’m a professional regret calculator. If my team won first, I’ll still tell you why we should have won by even more points, with greater style and ease. If my girl is on Cloud 9, I’ll fret and whine that I should have gotten her to Cloud 10. You get the idea. Call me Dr. Regret.

  So I find it funny that I seem to want to find a regret in my friendship with Nord. I want to claim there was a flaw, to taste my usual regret sandwich. But the truth is,the friendship was respectful and kind and mutually appreciative and with proper boundaries. It is now at a quiet, cheerful, like each other’s social media content level. No one is disappointed, ashamed, misled, or confused, and nothing was unrequited or unappreciated. The one flaw our friendship had resolved itself in such a way that I feel she also noticed it and worked to fix it with me. That's good!

  The truth is, finding a flaw keeps the search alive, tells me there is still some Nirvana or nectar that is yet untasted. Finding regrets can be a problem of an idealist, always wanting to find flaws, to make the future paradise all the more bright. That soup was good, but what if… That vacation would have been fantastic if… If only my mom had…

  But no, sometimes a thing is a thing is a thing. And I need to keep the regret monster at bay. It’s trying to kill me**, to rob of me of my peace and sanity.

  **Medical stats on worry and anxiety apply here, this isn’t much hyperbole

  • 12:09 am
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