Was thinking the other day about ultimatums and threats and relationships. So for example, some people are quick to tell you what they won't put up with. "If you ever cheat on me, there's the door," etc. On the other hand, some people are willing to put up with a lot for love. They're very understanding, and want to sacrifice to make the person they love happy.

Here's what I'm wondering. If you're a pushover, is it dangerous to admit it? Should I let her know that I would forgive her no matter what? That I'm willing to put up with quite a lot for love? Or should I pretend that I'm actually quite strict, that she has to prove herself?

I mean, it's all hypothetical, but I can see how making things too easy in a relationship can be dangerous, right? Any thoughts on this?

First Trump came for the Mexicans, and I did not speak out—
Because I was not a Mexican.

Then Trump came for the Muslims, and I did not speak out—
Because I was not a Muslim.

Then Trump came for all immigrants and religious people everywhere....

sigh.

I'm trying to diet now that I came back from vacation, and it's funny how giving up things eats away at you (pun intended). I love going to the Barnes and Noble in my town. They have a massive display case of desserts from the Cheesecake factory. It's so hard to go close to it. I feel those soft sweet cheesecakes calling my taste buds to come closer, and...oof just drooling thinking about it.

But I'm not going to lose weight unless there is a long, high, deep display case needed to contain all the desserts and fried foods I never ate. There has to be lots left on the table. I have to go days, weeks, even months without my favorites. So here's to all the cakes I won't get to eat; may there be many of you!

One of the oddities of life is that more often than we realize, our pleasure happens because of someone else's bad decision or pain. For example, when I get a new job, I rejoice, but I am not really aware of the person who finished in second and almost got the job, who maybe wanted it more or was better qualified. That person exists, however. If, God willing, I get married, it's possible that in my future wife's past there's another, better man than I. Maybe she overlooked him, maybe he messed up, but he existed.

So what does it mean? I think it should give us some pause, some realization that we are blessed to have what we have. But also, perhaps, it should help us in our own pain. When I was a teen, I competed in a church quiz competition. One year we had a very strong team, perhaps Top 5 in the country. We didn't even qualify for Nationals, however. I was stunned for weeks. But the team that took our spot were lovely people, and the very next year they won the National Championship. Our stunning loss directly opened the door for some excellent people to shine.

It also, perhaps, should make us more willing to quit when we know things aren't truly working. I have a bad habit of not wanting to breakup with someone unless they truly have "red-flag" behavior. I don't want to hurt someone's feelings. But if I know I'm probably not right for them, I'm blocking the path of some better man, am I not? Just something I'm thinking about.

For those of you who knew ShamrockLover on Xanga, she unfortunately passed away a few days ago. Please keep her husband Ryan and her two small daughters in your thoughts. If you wish to leave some kind words and knew her, go here: https://warriorshamrock.wordpress.com/2016/05/26/peaceful-ending/#comments

I'm keeping her Xanga private, but Abby also passed away. She struggled with eating issues for years, and a combination of bad health issues did her in. She was a dear, kind soul who deserved much better from life. I knew that not all my friends on here who struggled would make it...but it's a harsh reminder of how serious depression and eating issues can be.

I do miss the way Xanga made it easier to grieve collectively. May their families both find peace and grace, sigh.

So I'm curious. Is anyone considering being a "traitor" to their usual political party this November?

For example, as a Christian who usually votes Republican, I'm repulsed by the many moral failures of Donald Trump. And I'm not alone; a significant number of evangelicals are considering not voting this November. But will some of them go so far as to vote for Hillary?

Or, if you are a blue-collar Democrat...will Hillary fight harder for the working man than Donald? Sure, Donald may just talk about jobs, but he at least prioritizes them. Hillary doesn't seem like the type who will fight for unions and more jobs. Would you switch for the sake of your career?

Have at it, traitors; who will you double-cross? Heh.

I think one of my least favorite new date conversation topics is talking about religion. I like being a Christian, but I don't like playing a card game over one's faith choices. Most of the time, my faith and your faith will be different.

And on the one hand, this can be hard. Some faith expressions are not compatible with each other. If my religion and your religion both say the other is going to hell, it's going to be hard to raise children in such a fraught environment. Right?

But on the other hand...sometimes it feels like one gets overly concerned over matters of degree. Even if we believe the same thing, it is likely that one of us will be a "better" Christian than the other. More regular churchgoer, or more sacrificial, or spent 4 years helping needy children, you name it. So does that mean that a mismatch means incompatibility? It's true that it will create tension at first. But also, isn't it just common-sense that rarely will two people exactly match in faith? "Ok, babe, we can't get married until you up your Bible reading to 2 chapters a day, and also I'm going to need to see more tithing for 6 months." Heh, what do we really want out of the other person, you know?

It's not easy, but also I kind of wonder if a lot of the spiritual compatibility debates have been overdone. Maybe it's not as complicated as we've made it.

Suppose that you have done or said something inappropriate. Or no, you didn't do it, but someone is gossiping that you did, or exaggerating your action to make you look evil. What should you do?

I'm a big fan of debate, of explanation. And certainly, I would say, you should defend yourself! Let people know you've been wronged, or perhaps let them know that, say, the guy you punched deserved it, heh. Tell them the backstory, the sidestory, the whatever story.

But...I'm not so sure anymore. If you and I know each other, and someone tells you something bad about me, the power is in your hands. You can believe the other person, choose not to get involved, or ask me for clarification. And so, if I need to fight for myself to explain...haven't I already lost? Isn't it already over if the trust of those who know me isn't enough to protect me and my reputation?

Hmm. I think I'm just a bit weary of the constant social media struggle of justification, rationalization, and brain-washing, heh. I think people know me by now. I've wasted a bit too much time in the past protesting too much, methinks.

Suppose I were to describe you a system:

1) The people at the top of this system get most of the benefits. Many earned their way there, but some were merely genetically fortunate.

2) The people in the middle get decent benefits. However, at times they are at the mercy of the people at the top. They live in perpetual insecurity of dropping to the bottom.

3) The people at the bottom get few benefits. The only reason they do not rebel more often is manipulation from the top and middle, or the depressing feeling that they will lose what little they have if they complain.

I’ve described a pseudo-meritocracy that sounds a lot like capitalism...and the hook-up culture. If you’re for socialism, are you then for...monogamy? If you’re anti-capitalist, should you also decry sexual excess in the name of consistency? Heh, just have been thinking about it lately.