They're the reason why you left the church.
"They" sounded Christian. They knew Bible verses. They raised their hands or knelt at just the right time in church. And then, when you or your friend or the church trusted them, they ran off with the offering...or the secretary...or the innocence of half the congregation.
Is there any way to detect these false Christians? To minimize their impact before they hurt trusting people in the church and drive people away? What do you think?

This is an old post I wrote about a year ago but never put up on Xanga: I'm adding it here to an old series I did titled "The Church and I"

A few Sundays ago, I was driving to church while mulling over a tough decision I have to make. I have an opportunity to give to a charitable cause that is very important to me. However, to fulfill the need of that cause, I need to give much more money than I usually do. While I was driving, a Bible verse came to mind. It is Esther 4:14, and is not at all a verse about giving money. Mordecai is begging Esther to do something about the proposed slaughter of the Jewish people in Persia. He tells her the following:

14 For if you remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance for the Jews will arise from another place, but you and your father's family will perish. And who knows but that you have come to royal position for such a time as this?"

See, that isn't about donating money, is it? But for me, it somehow fit. I have recently been blessed with a good job, and it made me wonder, was this an "Esther" situation? That I had been given this good job so I would have the money to give? And even further, that God wants me to search out "Esther" situations, where my gifts and abilities make me the best fit for a job? Anyway, I meditated on the verse and realized that maybe I did indeed need to give. I then went inside to church.

The pastor's sermon was on giving. And at the end, he quotes Esther 4:14. (play scary music). Just another coincidence that can be scientifically explained, right? Or not? As you can guess, though, I gave the money. Some coincidences are too strong to ignore.

Hi friends. This evening I will be doing a video session using Xanga TV. It is at 8 PM Eastern Time on Wednesday (today), right here on this page. Please come and visit. I'll be telling various stories and starting discussions. As a bonus I'll tell you my most embarrassing moment on Xanga. It involves 12-year-olds. You'll want to hear it.

Now, with that said, I'm starting a new series on the Christian church. You can read many of my old writings about church here: http://weblog.xanga.com/GreekPhysique/tags/thechurchandi/ . Most Americans have stepped inside a Christian church at one time or another. Many have been blessed by the experience and found spiritual renewal. However, many Americans have been wounded by the church, or decided to quit Christianity because of their experiences in the church. 

My question to you is, what are the characteristics of a good church?

I have planned a series on imperfect churches. Such churches can drive you to discouragement and despair if you do not understand what a good church looks like. But first, let's be positive about this. What would a good church do? What would it believe? What type of relationships would form, and what would the services be like? Tell me about the good churches you've been a part of. Looking forward to your answers in the comment section.

I'm now starting my own church for men only. There will be no singing, because guys are not very good at singing. There will be NO small talk, and men who ask each other "How you doing?" will be asked to leave if it happens more than once. Smiling when you don't mean it will be met with similar punishment. Idle time during church, mislabeled "fellowship" is strictly prohibited; the schedule is clear, and church is an intense experience, not a laidback visual spectacle.

Church starts with everyone split into two groups; those who feel they were successful last week at implementing what the pastor said to do, and those who were not. The rules are very clear who belongs in each group; no longer will all the rules governing church be ambiguous and unwritten. But each man is allowed to self-identify himself in either group. Those who were successful will celebrate and get pumped for next week. Those who failed will console each other and plot and scheme how they can fix things next week. Then the two groups will come together to hear the sermon, which will be about something concrete. It'll be aimed toward something we can actually DO in the next week, instead of things we should think about. Instead of singing, we will march outside around the church and chant appropriate spiritual slogans. Guys like action, so there will be a punching bag for those who feel like they need to work out some anger during service. There also will be a soundproof room...but it'll be for screaming and shouting, not for babies. Prayer will be emphasized, but prayer is not allowed to be silent. You must pray out loud, for everyone to hear, and if you're clearly not being honest and forthright in your prayer, you will be told to be quiet and let someone else pray who really wants to talk to God. And each service ends with all men pledging to uphold standards of honor, of responsibility, and working hard.

Ha, I know this sounds weird, but I went to church today, and I just felt very out of place as a man. First time this has ever happened to me, but it did. I felt like everything was a waste of my time, and none of it really meant anything. I'm not sure if it was my attitude, the devil, or that church really was that poor. Either way, I would like to give man church a shot, ha.

Enough lovey dovey stuff; we're going to get serious in here! We're going to have reviv...um, let me step slowly away from the blasphemy line. My friend catechufem is back on the blogging warpath (glad to have you back!) so she wants another post out of me after only two days. Slavedriver! My contract only calls for weekly posts! Ok, fine. Back to the Church and I series. Tell me, any of you; have you ever truly suffered for your church? In America, the land where there's a customer in every pew and a tax deduction in every offering plate?

Have you gone to church instead of going out with friends, or going to a practice at school, or making money from a part time job? Did you go to church instead of studying 3 more hours for that final exam that you needed to keep your scholarship or stay eligible?

Have you been willing to tell your friends "I don't do X because Pastor Bill said it's bad" and wait for their mocking laughter? To say "Yes, that's our corny church sign?" To boycott Disney just because some people at a meeting said too?

Have you been willing to say, in the words of the Apostle Paul "Who is offended (in the church), and I burn not?"

Were you still there when attendance dropped from 700 to 500 to 300 to only people too young/old to have a choice in where they went to church, because you believed God wanted you there and the church was preaching his Word?

I hope you can answer "yes" to at least one of those questions. Tell me if you can. Yes, you may have suffered at the church's hands, and you'll get your chance later on. But today, tell me how you willingly identified with Christ's body even when it hurt.

You've all heard of a fair-weather friend; they are there only when times are good. But what about a FOUL-weather friend? See, I have a theory that some of us are better at crying with people who are crying (and have a harder life than we do) rather than celebrating the good things that happen to other people. I was once at a church where they got permission to build, and I remember vividly the pastor saying "Church, we need to learn how to celebrate!" That moment really affected my life; I realized that yes, we do need to learn to celebrate in the church and in all areas where God blesses us.

But what about when others get blessed? When someone gets a job promotion, does it go to the Praise list? Do we celebrate with them? Or do we leave it off the list for fear of offending those who are searching for a job? Church isn't just for the broken and battered; one day none of us will be broken and battered anymore (thank God!) and we need to know how to have church then too. So, tell me; do you have a problem not being envious or being happy enough when something good happens to a fellow Christian? Even if they don't deserve what just happened to them? Or you've had hard times lately? Just something to think about.

First, a quick summary of giftedness; I am talking about above-average attributes of people such as intelligence, athleticism, physical attractiveness, social attractiveness (i.e. good at speaking to people 1-1 or in small groups), and creativity. The title of the blog refers to both a problem and a request, heh. Let me explain below.

I am concerned about how many gifted people leave the church after growing up inside its doors. If I look around most churches (harsh truth alert!), I am completely unimpressed by the giftedness of my fellow 20-somethings. Now that you know I'm a jerk (as opposed to suspecting it), let's move on. Really, why do so many gifted people who were happy to be in church when they are 16 leave the church by 26? Is it the church itself to blame, or the gifted people themselves? For once, I'm taking the side of the church (I recently realized this series could be titled "The Church VERSUS I", ha, based on the last few posts).

Some interesting evidence is found in I Corinthians chapter 1, which states that not many wise, noble, or mighty people are called to the faith. I think there are two reasons for this. One, God delights in the humble, and people with gifts aren't usually that humble. Similarly, people with gifts don't have as many needs (at least outwardly), and so they are less likely to turn to God in response to a crisis or the truth.

While I am disappointed that the church is not filled with people who share my gift of overwhelming hotness (that and the gift of an inflated ego, uncontrollable lying, and delusions of grandeur :-p), frankly, I think gifted people are not patient enough with the church. There's too much of "I AM A GIFTED SINGER, AND I SHOULD SING EVERY SUNDAY!" going on. Look, I consider myself a decent teacher and speaker. And for the last 3 years, I've done none of that. But it's been good for me in some ways to rest and grow and not use my gift. It's ok if I'm not giving a brilliant talk on Haggai (you should hear it sometime ). I've found other ways to serve people. This blog has fueled a major realization in my life that I am a creative person too, and that I should grow and nurture that part of my personality. And for 24-ish years, I never really did, until by various circumstances I was forced to explore myself and my skills further.

In addition, the church too often lets gifted people slide by despite major problem areas in their lives. For example (yeah, sorry, I'm my own example for everything today), lately, I've been less than impressed with my relationship with God. But because I know a lot of Bible verses and can say the right things, people around me don't know that I haven't been reading my Bible the way I should. The church is afraid to confront its gifted people lest they leave, or hold accountable brilliant, eloquent pastors with moral failings. You know what I have to say to that? Go! Seriously, gifted people, get out, and don't come back until you are humbled and want to live the right way! Those of us with any gifts at all need to slap ourselves upside the face and get over our gifts once in a while. It's the only way we can do the church any good, AND the only way church can do us any good.

I recently realized that I am much more compassionate over the failings and struggles of my sisters in Christ (or in the world) than I am over those of my brothers in Christ (or in the world). Moreover, I think this is true of many of us. For example, suppose you heard the news that a Christian friend of yours had "gone too far" with a boy or girl after years of that friend professing sexual purity. What kind of treatment does the female get? I believe the advice I would give would be of the "Girl, you're better than this, this type of behavior will wound you emotionally and break your heart, etc." It would appeal to emotions, be very non-judgmental, etc. But how would I react to the news about a male friend doing this? Perhaps a bland lecture about "Diseases and babies and such"? Or a stern condemnation about "How could you be so stupid as to get involved with that hussy Suzy?" Yes and yes. Why does the male get so much less compassion and so much more condemnation? It's not that women are dumber and thus are somehow less accountable or responsible for sin; the average woman is smarter than the average man.

Also, it concerns me that men may be held to lower standards. If a guy would fall in that situation, there's a "well don't do it again" attitude in many Christian circles, but a girl, now there's great concern because she might get pregnant or her virginity is gone. Some of you Xangans have remarked on this double-standard.

In general, I am concerned that we do not take good care of our brothers in Christ or feel appropriate concern for worldly men when they are in trouble. Some of this may be because men often have more of a position of authority, as in the sexual promiscuity example above; it's less likely that the man was seduced rather than the woman. But regardless, that man is still in sin, needing help out of sin, and I wonder, do I or we really care? Just because John Doe doesn't cry or show up with bruises as a result of his bad marriage doesn't mean that his wife's hateful comments don't rip him up inside. But us men, especially, don't seem to know how to take care of our wounded. And our sisters in Christ sometimes try to fill the gap...but I believe that men really should receive a good portion of their help and support from fellow men. Nowadays, the idea that a wife or girlfriend is responsible for making EVERY PART of her husband's life better has done society some harm; friends slack from their responsibilities, thinking that Mrs. Doe will take care of everything. I prefer the 1800's model almost, where men shared their hearts more with their male friends than their wife. (Note I said almost, ha).

Wow was this stream-of-consciousness, but my posts aren't very good anyway until the comments get started. Lovely job last time, folks, thanks for all the comments.

Anyway, usually when I write a "poor men" post, I get commenters spilling out of the woodwork to tell me how much worse women have it, ha. But go ahead, say your piece in the comment section if that's how you feel. And yes, we'll get off the "gloom and doom" topics soon, but I think it's best to get the tough stuff out of the way all at once.

EDIT: As was pointed out to me, saying that men are in a position of authority doesn't sound right. I should say, more often it appears that men willfully enter sin, while women more often appear drawn or lured into it. Take, for example, the difference between the number of men and women incarcerated. Sadly, as our culture continues to collapse, however, we are definitely seeing an increase in evil committed by women as well as men.

Update for last week's post: I really think the reason it is so hard to return from a serious bout of sin is threefold.

(1) Sin does destroy us. Hypothetically, if I have, say, a relapse to an alcohol addiction that I had before I came to know the Lord, afterwards I will have to spend so much time and energy resisting the bottle that I might not be able to do many good works or take care of other problem issues in my life.

(2) True restoration is not possible without your fellow Christians. Galatians 6:1 explains that the spiritual must help restore the person, gently. However, when someone usually messes up in a public way, we are not eager to once again return to them and embrace them.

(3) True restoration means completely rejecting your sin. Taking the drinking addiction as an example, you may  say "Being drunk is against the Bible's teachings, and I repent and will attempt to avoid it in the future." But soon enough you'll be tempted again, and the devil or your own nature will point out that "Hey, that one time, it was cool" in an attempt to make you befriend your sin again. There are few of us who don't fall for this trick of weakening our defenses. And once we give in again, we tend to be chained worse than before, because past experiences tend to build on top of each other.

However, master those three things and I think you can come back from that major sin episode. Of course, sin itself will be with us in some form as long as we are alive. But we need to break down the major strongholds of repeated, controlling sin in our lives. There cannot be any question of whether some sin in our lives controls us more than God does, or demands more of our time/energy than we give to God.

I'm sorry for the shortness of posts lately, peoples; but with this being summer, I just don't think many people are near their computers now. So for me to pour out my soul for no one to read...I'm just not willing to do that right now. Sometimes feedback matters to me, sometimes not; right now it does, so I'll hold back a little.

That said, today I'm wondering about Christians in the church who fall due to sin, to the point that the sin become more important to them than God for some period of time. Can they really be fully restored? I'm starting to wonder if the answer truly is yes. See, I read Hebrews 10, and it talks about how it's impossible for those who fall away to be brought back to repentance. I used to think that just meant that they could not be forgiven unless they asked for it.

But I've been disturbed lately at the inability of Christians who fall while fully Christian to be fully restored. I'm not talking about the struggles of new converts; I'm talking about a solid Christian who then willfully entraps themselves in some sort of consistent sin. Even David is never the same in II Samuel after his affair with Bathsheba. It makes me wonder (and cry, if I would truly think about it). Maybe Hebrews 10 does mean more than we think. Thoughts? You can tell I've purposely slanted this post one way, because I want you to come up with proof that I'm wrong. I want to be wrong, I assure you.