Time for you to confess. You embrace a cause that the majority of Americans have a few qualms about, don't you? I see that Watchtower magazine under your arm, or the Ron Paul for President sticker on your car, and no, I don't have time to hear about the wonder of polygamy today. But I understand you're passionate about that, and you want some of your friends to accept that. The question is, how can you do that?

If you had asked me a few years ago, I'd say this is a basic sales dilemma. The proper way to convince people is to be seen as a reasonable, respectable member of society. As your coolness wafts over the crowd, eventually people will ask "What makes you so cool?" This is where you whip out the pamphlets and videos and share with them the source of your wonderfulness. Or, after a steady stream of "I like football, reality shows, and all the other typical things Americans like!" you slip in a quick "So, you ever think about life after death?" and quietly lay the groundwork for full spiritual conversion in fifteen easy steps!

But frankly, even sales people have found this method doesn't work. You get maybe'd to death. People kind of like you, so they won't say no, and you're not pushy enough to make them decide. So no one really ever is convinced, but everyone thinks you're a nice person. Success...or not? Failure, because top sales books often advocate instead that you should push your customer until you can get an actual no, and then politely walk away. Maybe's take all your time and never produce.

In the end, I see that my friends who are obvious and intense about what they advocate probably do better. Sure, the drunken party boy might not be who you want at your party, but his constant updates on the parties he went to means that other people who like that will invite him. You'll love him or hate him...and maybe that's the point. Perhaps the well-rounded, reasonable individual is doomed to extinction, and only the shrill, intense voices survive. If you care about something, does it really make sense to mix it into your life? Do you want to be respected, or do you want to be worshiped or seen as an expert in what you like? Extremism may make society splinter and strain the bounds of congeniality, but otherwise your activist views are quickly neglected and overlooked. Think about it...just not on my timeline, please. #hypocrite

Aren't you tired of all those perfect Facebook profiles? They never share bad news, it's just one promotion after baby after GREAT NIGHT OUT AT FANCY PLACE MY HUSBAND IS THE GREATEST update after another. And the photos--come on, even the photos that they pretend are awkward are "Ooh I didn't see the camera but oh coincidence! my hair's perfect!" time after time. What they really need is to get real, right? They need to be vulnerable. Or do they?

Some of you are friends with me on Facebook, at least the ones that we still keep in touch. And quite frankly, my Facebook wall gets more boring each year. I basically talk about travel and link to various web-site articles, with the appropriate "I don't agree with everything in this article, but there's some good points in it!" intro affixed. The sad thing is...this blandness is rewarded. I don't have to fix arguments, and I don't have to put up with challenges. And I seem smart even though I just copy-paste stuff that cooler people than me wrote or found.

Horrifyingly, in keeping with the theme of the extreme series...it makes sense to be pixel-perfect. I got annoyed when a friend told me to put up a more professional, handsome profile photo. But on the other hand, it is all about appearances, I'm afraid. It really is about seeming to have it all together. Are you truly rewarded for being vulnerable on your Facebook? Of posting photos of yourself with your prettier friends when you don't look good? For telling us about your bad day, or admitting you suck at your job, or telling us that you have no life? Frankly, if you don't try to impress people, you succeed...at not impressing them.

So shine on, you Botoxed, Photoshopped, bland, right-down-the-middle star. You had the right idea, and those of us who embraced reality a little too tightly should be following your example. Time for me to write more statuses about hurt puppies, cute children, and pretty sunsets!

Edit: I think I need to give some inspiration credit to @oxlorixo 's latest post, to @weedorwildflower for various discussions we've had on facebookland, and to @jennz_08 for having the most awkward FB ever. Awkward.

This is the second in a series on experiments in extreme behavior. I'm starting the discussion, you tell me what you think.

"He's out of your league, girl." How many times have you heard someone tell you that? A good criticism of a lot of 20-somethings is that we want too much. We all know the decent-looking guy who never dates anyone because he's so busy trying to get models to like him, or the girl forever pining for the quarterback and rock star. And even if they do get one date with that special someone, they probably will just get used and discarded anyway. Someone with plenty of options has no reason to be loyal to you, right?

And yet...middle of the road has never worked that well. Think about those relationships where you said "On paper, we're a good fit for each other." Or "We seem to be about the same level." You both are getting an average deal. Not too great, not too bad--reasonable and safe. Standard. ...Boring?

Take a look at this fascinating OK Cupid survey that says that men don't message girls who are merely cute. http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/the-mathematics-of-beauty/ I'm not going to summarize it for you further, it's worth your time. It's easy to write this off as men being irrational. But are they? Maybe it's a better idea to be irrational in dating, to aim high and not settle. If you believe she's in your league, will you work as hard to make her yours? Will you sacrifice as much and put up with as much merely to settle down with someone who is much like you? During those times you fight or have issues, when she falls in your eyes, she is now below your league, not in your league. If she doesn't start high, your inevitable disillusionment will mean a break-up.

I don't believe a word I typed. I think. But it's worth thinking about.

"Be well-rounded!" Remember hearing that from your parents or teachers growing up? We're supposed to be balanced, all things in moderation. Don't be too extreme. Look at our Presidential election in America. Both candidates inevitably end up as slightly different shades of the middle ground.

But is that really what life is about? Are we in the end all objective, all Buddhists, all drained of any strong passions and firm beliefs? Is the purpose of life to inch to the very middle of the see-saw and stand there so that we don't hit the ground? Are most life decisions really about balance?

There's a saying that the ends justify the means--that basically, it doesn't matter what you do, it matters where you end up. I don't agree with it. Humans have memories, a sad fact that ruins 57.4% of our escapades. But I do kind of wonder if the extremes trump the means, if picking all of one item and none of the other means a happier life than trying to forever keep two diametrically opposed messages in the same bottle.

Yes, time for another series, on unbalancing your life for the sake of extremes. Gather around, readers, while the snow falls and New Year's resolutions collapse. Let's see what we can learn, ok?