June 27, 2007

• The Church And I: Tears for Masculine Pain

  I recently realized that I am much more compassionate over the failings and struggles of my sisters in Christ (or in the world) than I am over those of my brothers in Christ (or in the world). Moreover, I think this is true of many of us. For example, suppose you heard the news that a Christian friend of yours had "gone too far" with a boy or girl after years of that friend professing sexual purity. What kind of treatment does the female get? I believe the advice I would give would be of the "Girl, you're better than this, this type of behavior will wound you emotionally and break your heart, etc." It would appeal to emotions, be very non-judgmental, etc. But how would I react to the news about a male friend doing this? Perhaps a bland lecture about "Diseases and babies and such"? Or a stern condemnation about "How could you be so stupid as to get involved with that hussy Suzy?" Yes and yes. Why does the male get so much less compassion and so much more condemnation? It's not that women are dumber and thus are somehow less accountable or responsible for sin; the average woman is smarter than the average man.

  Also, it concerns me that men may be held to lower standards. If a guy would fall in that situation, there's a "well don't do it again" attitude in many Christian circles, but a girl, now there's great concern because she might get pregnant or her virginity is gone. Some of you Xangans have remarked on this double-standard.

  In general, I am concerned that we do not take good care of our brothers in Christ or feel appropriate concern for worldly men when they are in trouble. Some of this may be because men often have more of a position of authority, as in the sexual promiscuity example above; it's less likely that the man was seduced rather than the woman. But regardless, that man is still in sin, needing help out of sin, and I wonder, do I or we really care? Just because John Doe doesn't cry or show up with bruises as a result of his bad marriage doesn't mean that his wife's hateful comments don't rip him up inside. But us men, especially, don't seem to know how to take care of our wounded. And our sisters in Christ sometimes try to fill the gap...but I believe that men really should receive a good portion of their help and support from fellow men. Nowadays, the idea that a wife or girlfriend is responsible for making EVERY PART of her husband's life better has done society some harm; friends slack from their responsibilities, thinking that Mrs. Doe will take care of everything. I prefer the 1800's model almost, where men shared their hearts more with their male friends than their wife. (Note I said almost, ha).

  Wow was this stream-of-consciousness, but my posts aren't very good anyway until the comments get started. Lovely job last time, folks, thanks for all the comments.

  Anyway, usually when I write a "poor men" post, I get commenters spilling out of the woodwork to tell me how much worse women have it, ha. But go ahead, say your piece in the comment section if that's how you feel. And yes, we'll get off the "gloom and doom" topics soon, but I think it's best to get the tough stuff out of the way all at once.

  EDIT: As was pointed out to me, saying that men are in a position of authority doesn't sound right. I should say, more often it appears that men willfully enter sin, while women more often appear drawn or lured into it. Take, for example, the difference between the number of men and women incarcerated. Sadly, as our culture continues to collapse, however, we are definitely seeing an increase in evil committed by women as well as men.

  • 1:13 pm
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