January 9, 2008

  • Internet Intimacy Wrap-up: Hobnobbing with the Rich and Famous

    Hi folks. I know the last post sounded a little sour. I just wanted to explain that it was my goal to talk about all the good stuff in the first post, and the bad stuff in the second. I thought I would briefly add one more benefit of Internet intimacy: talking to famous or newsworthy people. On occasion, I'll see someone who interests me on TV, or read an interesting column in the paper, and then go look the person on-line and try to talk to them. Surprisingly, this works more often than you'd think. Here's some of the people who I talked to via the Internet:

    Pulitzer-Prize winning reporter
    WNBA player
    Runner-up on America's Next Top Model
    Famous scientist (might win a Nobel one day)
    Michael W. Smith band member
    ESPN reporter (met in person too)
    Mega-bloggers who get millions of views a month

    And some of those were rather lengthy conversations, too! Very rarely do people refuse to e-mail back, because I do my homework beforehand and make sure to have relevant conversations. I've also met several Internet people in real life, gone on trips/stayed with people I met on the Internet, used it for forming business/hobby relationships, etc. And I can't say I've ever had a bad experience in person (funny experiences, yes!). 

    Of course, there's also the "oh-no" list on-line: men impersonating women (including a rather nasty case of a pastor doing so), women with eating disorders and severe depression who just want attention rather than help, perverts, cruel and vindictive folk, etc. But for the most part, I've talked to quality people. It's just that eventually, I find myself turning to virtual relationships instead of putting in the hard work of developing real-life friendships. I hate it when I fall for this, because then I become distant to the people in my life for the sake of some shadowy friend on-line. But it seems like it happens way too often. Any advice on how to get better balance? I'll be a little vulnerable here, because I appreciate my readers and would love to keep this up. But I am so disappointed in myself when real life suffers because of computer time. And the problem is, it seems to be a struggle for everyone who gets on-line; I don't think I'm being particularly "edgy" by making this observation. Right? or wrong? Perhaps its as theotica said in the last post; it would be the same struggle for some of us even if we were still sending paper letters rather than e-mail. But maybe not.

Comments (12)

  • I don't think I'll ever have this problem because if I have an interesting life, I never have time to write up interesting, crowd-pleasing thoughts online. I usually think of interesting, crowd-pleasing posts when I should be writing a research paper, so the only one they entertain is me. If only I could send my brain eProps...

    P.S.--John Reuben is very catchy, but I haven't had time to give it my full attention yet and read the booklet and things. I'll let you know.

  • I've really enjoyed this series of posts. It takes me back :) I had two very serious e-lationships of my own.  The first, when I was sixteen, was a young Greek fella.  We said "I love you," sent letters and presents, and then eventually it melted away when I got an actual boyfriend boyfriend. The second was a guy I'd met in a Christian chat room who'd basically wandered in to cause havoc, and he and I ended up debating for a long time.  He started private messaging me, saying that he was impressed by my responses to his questions and wanted to talk more.  We chatted whenever possible, and after a couple of months he fessed up and told me he had to stop talking to me; he was starting to develop feelings and he didn't want to wreck his relationship with his current girlfriend.  It was sad.

    Unfortunately, fifty percent of my current relationship is happening online, but only because we are living in two different provinces.  Hopefully that will not always be the case.

  • Uninstall AIM.

  • the truth is gp, there are not really all that many theologians native to my area (read:near zero unless the chickens next door have been holding out on me.) the internet is really helpful for me to connect to people who are in my field and of my stripe.

    now you... you are polka-dots, but i like you anyway. :P

    DON'T SEND ME A MINI! I'M DEFENSELESS ON MY MAC!

  • I don't think it would happen as quickly with paper letters (real "pen pals") because that takes a lot more work. The internet makes it so easy to connect with anyone, and it becomes easier to find people that share common interests.

    I don't think my human relationships suffer because of being online, but that's probably just because "real life" things demand my time. There are online friends that I lose touch with sometimes and that saddens me.

    I often find it fascinating how close you can become to someone that you'll probably never meet in flesh and blood. That really amazes me.

  • Funny....This year didn't hurt as much but enough to where I'm glad the season is over.....too much football lately...I need a break :)

  • haha thanks for the comment, sorry you felt ignored on cyber space, don't worry I was pretty close to ignoring real life friends too, I still have a phone call I've been meaning to return for 3 days...

    on xanga you often will feel ignored, because I barely go on it, I check for like 3 people who don't have a myspace since that's where most moved and LJ I've had forever and I wont give up. and really who blogs on facebook? but blogging kind of died people it seems social networking became more important to many or something....

    but hey kind of like your post pointed out there is good and bad in the land of cyberspace so yeah...anyway hope you enjoyed my randomness.. be blessed:)

  • Thanks for saying hi. I think its fun to meet people online, like you. It's just that I don't get to do it that often. I'm usually very busy with my undergrad work, and my job, and the occasional theatrical performance I love being involved in.

    I never thought of actually trying to talk to famous people online. It must be rather exciting to actually talk to these people. I always think of them as being so busy that they wouldn't have time to do trivial things like blog or chat.

    Well, I hope you find it within you to spend some valuable time with real persons making friends and enriching your life through ways of communication that cannot truly be experienced over the internet. Sometimes the most memorable moments I have with friends are when we're out hiking together, playing cards or board games, getting lost on road trips, or recieving a hug from a good friend. Maybe the way you communicate with people is different, but I find that those sort of times are the best of all, and my internet communication tends only to be a temporary connection with people I'd much rather see in person (if possible).
    Blessings, ~Caralee~

  • RYC:
    jalixx3, yeah, ha, I'm only creative when I'm tired, angry, or have work to do. My best posts come from my bleeding heart, people! It's my blood, I say! /overdramatic silliness :-p

    Walkingenglishgenerator, you make a GREAT point in your story about the guy who felt he was ruining his relationship with his girlfriend by talking to you. This is one of my big Internet cautions--not to cause a woman in a committed relationship to cheat her man emotionally or intellectually. I can still talk to women who are in committed relationships, but I try to take precautions. Stealing away someone's girl when they can't even see you coming because you're online is pretty high on the bad list.

    theotica, I need to connect with more professionals via the 'Net too. And I can't stop laughing about the Mini line!

    Spiderdad, I would almost say meeting people on-line is like knowing a character in a book or movie--there's strange attachments taking place in the subconscious, I think.

    Miss and Alaska, thanks for visiting me back! Yes, folks, I'm on a new reader drive at the beginning of the year.

  • how about she be a missionary to models? then she could have the best of both worlds?

  • Absolutely! I'd love to hear your take. I bet it will be different than the people who don't read my xanga and spend more time with me in real life, though. As you have just pointed out, sometimes we reveal different parts of ourselves in the online world than in our everyday lives. But please, enlighten me. :)

  • Great job taking on a very relevant subject that affects us all

    ryc: jumping is so fun   I have seen the jump book before, i love it!

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