February 5, 2008
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An Inconvenient Crush
Just a quick post, to bury the video post (GP shudders) until I unleash the OTHER videos on you (now you shudder!). How do you avoid inconvenient crushes? I start by not liking the lady at all, finding them annoying, unattractive, and with values very different than my own. Then, all of a sudden--cracks in my heart! She starts sounding normal! I realize that we're really not that different after all! Continued contact begins to form bonds! I smile/blush/blink/pupil dilate once in a conversation with her! HELP!!! haha. It hasn't happened recently to me, but it certainly has happened on occasion. I spent several years trying to shake the Crush Monster when it came to one particular girl back in the day--not good times. How do you escape the Crush Monster?
Comments (12)
I tend to hide in my walk in closet, emerging only to eat, shower and use the bathroom. My only contact is with my female roomates...men are completely off limits
is it possible to escape the monster?
my question is: Why are you trying to escape?
Bokgwai's question is a good one.
@Bokgwai - @galumph - Look, I'll merrily crawl on my knees and admit how wrong I was if she really is a sweetheart and I had it wrong the first time. That's what is called a convenient crush, ha. But these women were completely out of my legitimate reach.
Let me paint with a broad brush what happened to me a few times in college. GP ignores girl X because she doesn't seem interesting/makes a bad first impression. Girl X, pervesely enough, becomes interested in GP, perhaps because he ignores her and doesn't give her the fawning attention most males would? Girls are funny. Anyway, GP suddenly realizes that Girl X is rather a decent sort, but that Girl X now has a boyfriend/Girl X believes that Christians are a little weird/or Girl X is going to Malaysia on a 2-year missions trip tomorrow. Oh, and of course Girl X no longer is as interested, because perversely her interest fades just as GP's interest intensifies. Rinse, Wash, Repeat!
I must admit, I am not the creature of romance; I don't intend to scale the Alps for a girl who I don't truly think I could love and marry. Perhaps at times I've seen obstacles as larger than they were, but I can only think of one time off the top of my head.
Repeat to yourself, like a mantra, all the ways this girl is bad for you.
Place her photo in a prominent spot where you work out, so you come to associate her with pain.
When all else fails, run.
@GreekPhysique - It doesn't sound like you need to avoid the monster. It just seems like you need to respond/act faster. Which, I believe, is something that we have talked about (over the phone) in regards to your general approach to life (and I need to respond in the opposite way, etc etc.).
@ChrisRusso - The workout idea is a hard one. I typically picture the girl in my head whom I want to impress when I work out. Thus, she is a source of motivation.
However, the mantra idea might work. This is, of course, only effective as long as you are not causing yourself to think about her more than you already were/are.
@ChrisRusso - We are Xanga brothers, man. I edited out the part where I admitted my cure was screaming "She's no good for you, She probably has STD's" :-p
ryc: Thanks for the suggestion. I'll think about it and see if there is anything I can do to make it funny.
One word: distance. Works every time. Unless you stalk her from a distance at which point the obsession has still consumed you and you probably need to be locked up for your own mental health and hers. Some say distance makes the heart grow fonder, but that is really only if there was ever a mutual strong love to begin with (and I would add a grounding in Christ). But I only speak from my own experiences in crushing on the wrong guys over and over and over again.
@wingfiea - I dunno if it's possible... the "crush monster" I faced was a rare mutated form known only as the "love monster". The transformation was so dramatic and awe inspiring that before I realized what was happening, I was smacked senseless and fell under its power. Apparently the lady I gleefully call my significant other was hit pretty hard around the same time, too.
Must have been a really hard hit... we've been together for 2 years now.
................I think I may have a concussion still.
RYC: My point was to illustrate why Jesus tells us to judge only after we've "removed the plank" from our own eyes, and even then to be careful. "Discernment" isn't something you have at one time and not another; it's a state of being for those living by grace who are open to the word of God. Jesus said His sheep know His voice and follow it and that He knows the hearts of man, and that no one can have faith in Him but that He, personally call them. Those of us acting as His representatives have a tall order to fill, and we shoot ourselves in the foot by leaning on our own understanding. Statistics don't matter when you're looking someone in the eye.
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