June 16, 2008
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Lies I Once Believed
Today I ended up spending time at both my undergrad university and my elementary/middle school/high school. For a variety of reasons (rain, missed appointments, and other annoyances), I felt myself getting depressed. I realized that in my years of schooling, I have certainly believed a lot of lies about myself, others, and the world around me. Sure, some of those lies were the fault of others, and as a Christian I do believe that there are evil spirits in the world. But a lot of times, the lie was nearly 100% my own creation.
Although I am not currently reading Nancy Lee Demoss' book, hearing of its title and contents helped me realize just how many lies we retain in our lives. Isolated incidents from our early years form our values and beliefs, and suddenly we look back and wonder how we could have been so stupid.
Anyway, I felt that rather than mope and whine, I'd blog about this topic. I will post 10 lies that I believed before I graduated from high school. Some are serious, some are not. Some of these lies I will present are actually good points for some people, but for me they were lies and held me back from truth.
1. People who speak too loudly are bad people.
2. The safe choice is always the best choice.
3. If you cough loudly while farting, no one will notice.
4. Don't be vulnerable with anyone, or they'll take advantage of you.
5. The prettiest girls are the meanest girls.
6. Changing my mind on anything is betraying all I once stood for.
7. Delay your first shave of facial hair as long as possible, else you have to do it every morning.
8. Authority figures are always fair and honest.
9. If you just work hard enough, you'll succeed and God will give you what you want.
10. I can't do "whatever" because I wasn't very good at it the first time I tried it.
You see, then, how even some statements that seem innocent at first glance can become lies that choke our growth? For example, 9 sounds right at first. But I was devastated the first time I worked very hard for something, and didn't get it. And don't get me started on how unkempt I looked until I finally realized 7 was a lie. Please join in by also typing your own list of 10 lies.
Comments (51)
Yeah, those definitely sound like lies. Unfortunately, though, I have believed them at some point or another, like you did, and have come to realize that they were mostly untrue.
1. guys are shallow, and looks don't matter
2. kissing always leads to sex
3. people in authority want whats best for you
4. cursing is a sin
5. brunettes are boring
6. gotta be smart/funny/talented, because my looks won't get me noticed
7. family will always be there for you
8. listening to non-christian music will make you worldly
9. girls make the best friends
10. tattoos are for rebels
#5
Good looking guys get that same rep. It is not true with them ether.
How about a half list? I fear I'm about to out myself as a former fundamentalist...
1. Unless you believe all the right things you're wrong and in grave spiritual danger!
2. Chinese food is nasty
3. Pink is only for prissy girls.
4. I really can eat anything and not gain weight! (college blew that one out of the water!)
5. They're called "vanilla envelopes".
1. I make enough money to buy a house
2. I'm good with computers
3. Buying a new car will save me more money than it'll cost me
That's all I can think of right off hand. I'll think of more later. Great post!!
As we go through life, experience teaches us different. It's like we clean our mind's garage and get rid of things that do not belong in our space. We order and reorganize of way of thinking. We have a right (perhaps an obligation) to change our mind. I would add to the list: Instant gratification may keep you content in your childhood, but that feeling will wear off as you grow older. I do not believe in teaching kids that we are all going to be rewarded/awarded all of the time. I have trouble with what is done in school such as giving every single student an award. There is a bit of lying there, but I am to do what I am asked to do. It reminds me of that scene in The Incredibles where Dash tells his mother that she always says to do "his best," but she actually doesn't mean it. I could go and explain a bit more, but then my comment would be a pseudo post (or perhaps it already is) and I think that was one of the non grata things you mentioned in your guide to commenting.
1. It must be true, it's on TV
2. People with tatoos are all mean
3. Torture doesn't exist in the 21st Century
4. Because I do not keep my home immaculate, then I am a bad person.
5. Because I did not get straight A's in highschool, I am stupid.
6. Old people can never understand youth
7. Young people can never understand age.
8. My government always has our best interests at heart.
9. Priests are always pure.
10. God only loves people who tithe.
Man. I need some therapy.
I hope you don't mind, but I am going to borrow this premise for my blog. I'll send my readers your way. This is a very thought provoking exercise.
I don't know, I can testify to number five pretty well...
Having sex before marriage makes a girl a whore.
Smoking leads to drinking which leads to sex and that makes a girl a whore.
God helps those who help themselves.
Everyone gets their comeuppance in the end.
Uh huh, right.
1) You don't have to worry about your credit rating.
2) Teachers are gods who know everything.
3) You'll need to use Algebra as an adult.
4) Being grown up means less stress.
Love it.
I would say it's part of growing up. In a way, there are lessons learned in the process. As we become truly discerning, we become selective in what to believe, especially as they affect our dealings with others.
Hmmmm....what a wonderful idea for a new post.
I too used to be under the impression that if you work hard enough, things will pay off. Thanks to a mentor I know, the better approach would be to work smart, not hard.
@Drakonskyr - haha Of course, I met the world's only well-mannered pretty girls while I believed that lie. Once I discarded it, the nice AND pretty girls left my life immediately. Go figure...
You picked out some pretty good lies.
ugly girls can be mean too.
hell i'm a complete bitch & i'm ugly.
& no. i am not writing 10 lies.
take care & stay strong
1. I'm ugly and funny-looking
2. Guys just use me for my lips
3. All guys are perverted peices of toilet paper
4. My parents don't love me
5. Nobody understands me
6. Nothing can possibly go wrong in my life
7. I'll never lose the people I love
8. I'm never going to grow up
9. Life is easier when you're older
10. Popular kids are all pricks (I know similar to 5 but some popular girls are pretty ugly!)
The last five years have been a continuous struggle for me. Believing that Jesus accepts me, loves me, forgives me...my salvation has never been assured. The Devil has pelted me from all sides. Right now, I've been knocked to the ground again, and I'm wondering if it's worth it to get up and try again, for the hundredth time. He says it isn't, but I suppose that's just another lie.
Nancy Leigh DeMoss is an amazing writer..
@Lady_Songbird - I found your list quite thought provoking. Actually, all the lists. Why do tattoos keep being mentioned? I have a tattoo, and I'm neither rebellious, nor mean...heehee =P
I really like this post. I might use this idea in a future one of mine and credit you, of course.
I got to this blog by clicking on the top web blogs and it brought me to your "How to make good comments" and was just about to comment when i realized.. it was a old post. Haha.. so being intrigued as it is I went searching for your recent one which was just as inviting as the previous I had read. I don't have a list of lies at the moment.. due to the fact I have quite a bit to think about with it. Maybe I'll make a blog on it once I've gotten my lies in order. Anyways I'm glad I chose your blog as a start into reading and commenting on user blogs.
@AThousandTimesIveFailed - I know what you mean, I'm kinda there too. But it IS worth it. Just keep going. Its not about the fall, its about what we do after the fall. I know it seems pointless, but that is a lie. Keep going, just keep going. You will make it, for God is seeing you through.
And now I can see so clear!
another awesome thought-provoking post, my friend! your right, many of those don't look like lies at first glance. Its amazing how warped our perception of reality can become, and just how much a lie can look like Truth. #9 is definitely a biggie for me as well, I think I'm still working through all the implications of that one. And I'm so glad you wrote this instead of giving into depression. way to go for turning that negative energy into something positive! and look at all the feedback you've gotten! I think your onto something here.
0. I am a worthless cow and a lost cause.
1. There is a special section of Hell reserved for those who commit suicide.
2. All parents thoroughly abuse their children at some time in their lives.
3. Your mother doesn't love you if she doesn't cut your sandwich diagonal.
4. Elvis really is still alive and out there somewhere.
5. Love is just a feeling.
6. If you eat past eight o'clock you will instantly get fat.
7. If you make yourself cry you will always get out of a speeding ticket.
8. You can never be truly accepted for who you are.
9. sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me.
10. Only sailors, bikers, and gangsters get tattoos.
(yes I know there are 11. I just HAD to include Elvis =P)
List of lies before highschool:1) All police men are nice2) I HAVE to go to college and get a credible education3) I can't not work and live.4) My dreams weren't possible and weren't something I was actually suppose to go for and do.5) Everyone understood life the same way I understood life6) $100 is so much money, I could do anything with it.7) It's boring to get old and grow up8) If it sounds good and logical, it must be true9) nose piercing and belly button piercing are for whores.10) I had to be just like my older sisterThat was fun! Thanks.
1. You have to be nice to get what you want out of life.
2. You have to be thin and pretty to be liked.
3. Being clever and working hard is enough to succeed, and those that aren't will fail.
4. People will grow up and stop being sheep.
5. People will grow up and stop hating you because you aren't a sheep.
6. People change.
7. You can always rely on your friends.
8. It's bad to be a bitch.
9. It's okay to show weakness.
10. Everything will turn out okay in the end.
No, no, no. Sigh.
Great post, sad though, to remind myself of these things. Lol @ your no. 3 and your no. 8 is saddest of all.
I hafta think of my 10 lies...
But I totally agree with #5.
"4. Don't be vulnerable with anyone, or they'll take advantage of you" ah this one still plages me
1.All men are slime
2. Hard work will get you anywhere.. *it takes more then that*
3. Everyone is out for there own motives
4. the easter bunny is real o.o
5. Shy kids will always be shy
6. You can never overcome stage fright
7. Family always wants what is best for there loved ones
8. If you love someone they will love you back
9. The only way to heal from heartbreak is to move on
10. The worlds oppinion matters more then your own
Those little lies we are told.....Isn't it amazing the rude awakening we get when we are finally adults. For the most part I think people have good intentions when they fill us with these untruths but it really is a shock when one is blatantly proven as untrue.
I totally relate - number 5 particularly. I can't count how many friendships I probably missed out on because I assumed that if the girl was pretty, she was mean and shallow and wouldn't want to be friends with a nerdy ugly girl like me. Sad, really.
Other lies I believed in High School:
1. No boy will ever love me enough to date me.
2. College will be the best time of my life
3. Pastors never lie
4. Being an adult will be awesome cause I can do whatever I want.
~ L
Dear John,
I have always believed in telling the truth, to others and to myself. It's a lot easier to live with the truth.
"7. Delay your first shave of facial hair as long as possible, else you have to do it every morning."
Or else you could grow a beard, like I did.
Michael F.Nyiri, poet, philosopher, fool
I don't think the amount of suffering I endured because of number two is even measurable. It's too great.
So true. Great post!
In Xhosa culture it is bad manners to speak softly as it means you may be talking about someone behind his back.
5. The prettiest girls are the meanest girls.
Hahahaha.
1. School is the most important thing in the world.
2. I am special.
3. Car crashes only happen on TV.
4. Prince Charming exists.
5. Mummy knows everything.
6. Smokers are bad people.
7. Fat people are lazy.
8. Love conquers all.
9. I want to be a career woman.
10. I am a sensible person.
Lies Kate used to believe:
1) Growing up is the best thing that will ever happen.
2) My parents are perfect.
3) Fox News is fair and balanced.
4) The government is here to help.
5) You become cool when you have your first kiss.
6) Loving someone is easy.
7) People don't like me.
8) Being a Christian is boring.
9) Doing the right thing will make everyone happy.
10) I won't ever love learning.
And a lie I still believe...
Unless I'm perfectly tiny like my mom and best friend, I'm not beautiful.
Very thought-provoking post- nicely done.
(I wonder if anyone searches for posts tagged "PantalonesElFuego")
Hehe.
nice nice, agreed.
i remember believing that bad people have tattoos and piercings.
3. If you cough loudly while farting, no one will notice.
LOL. Everyone is guaranteed to notice if you sneeze and fart simultaneously in a quiet classroom. Yeah...
1. Quitting is the same as running away.
2. There's no way I could be the favorite child, I'm too effed up.
3. Women with more male than female friends are whores.
4. You have to be drunk to dance or have a good time.
5. I'm fat because I'm not a size 2.
6. There's no difference between loving and being in love.
7. You can never say too much.
8. Those who love you will always be on your side.
9. Friendships are forever.
10. You can start over as many times as you want.
Lies, all lies.
i read the "young woman" version of that book, with the lies and all.
1. all you need is love
2. buying from Hong Kong through Ebay will save me money
3. the food will make me feel better
4. if i say sorry it will make it all go away
5. i can always say no when i want to
6. if it is God's will, then it will go smoothly
7. Green eggs and ham are good
8. my life will be perfect if (insert whatever) just happened
9. if i ignore it, it will go away
10. reality is what you make it
opps. i shouldn'ta written this on a downer day.
just looking around xanga and i landed on your page. great post. yeah i learned about #9 this year.. sighs. keep up with the good work.
1) Doing two years of school of ministry will automatically make you wonder woman.
2) Anything to do with taxes or politics will forever be immensely confusing.
3) I have to have a 50 year plan mapped out or I have somehow already messed everything up.
4) If I fix this one more thing on my car, it will be good to go, right?
5) It is impossible for a guy to truly see who I am and value me.
6) I don't have to go through dumb things like break-ups, because I'm special.
7) I can't handle college.
8) Top Ramen is actually food.
9) I don't need a cell phone. (Psh, not sure how I functioned....)
10) I am just watching life from the outside. I can't ever express what a joy it is to be proven wrong on this one. This life stuff is amazing. What a gift.
1. Sex isn't important in a relationship
2. those guys aren't trying to get in my pants, they're just REALLY REALLY NICE/TOTALLY ASEXUAL
3. being smart means you never have to put in any effort
4. i will marry my first serious bf (HAH!)
5. he wouldn't cheat on me again
6. the police are all good guys
7. the government cares about its people
8. the war in iraq was justified
9. ghost writer is real and i can write to them with my pen/notepad
10. you should always try to please every one around you
1. Showing emotion makes you weak.
2. In order to succeed, college is necessary.
3. Love at first sight.
4. Being honest 100% of the time never hurt anyone.
5. Drink some milk, it will make you feel better (uh...don't ask!)
6. All the cool kids are doing it.
7. Be best friends with people of the same sex, the opposite sex just doesn't understand things the same way.
8. Take a deep breath, everything will be okay.
9. Smoking will help you lose weight.
10. You should know what to do with your life once you reach 18 years old.
Stuff I once believed:
ahem...
1. I can kick anybody's ass!
2. Fission bombs are more powerful than Hydrogen bombs.
3. Britney Spears is a virgin.
4. It's always dead calm before a tornado.
5. Tanzania doesn't exist.
6. The US Navy should employ battleships still.
7. Cher is actually retiring this time.
8. WHOA! GODZILLA LOOKS SO REALISTIC.
9. GreekPhysique loves reading my blog.
10. Charlie!?
@Amandasbiggestfan - You're on to me as far as "9" goes. :-p I read it in my subscriptions, but now that you have more commenters, I don't feel as obligated to show you some comment love. Oh, and here's another lie I once believed to my shame: I once thought LonelyGirl15 (on Youtube) was real (hangs head).
Lady_Songbird's blog today was inspired by yours so I thought I would check it out. Good stuff! I'm going to do the list as my blog tomorrow...I think I'll be more honest if I sleep on it.
I used to believe the tooth fairy wanted my teeth
apparently it was actually Buddy the Elf taking them.
5. Some very pretty girls are very nice.
7. Facial hair is cool!
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