September 2, 2008
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From the Dorm Room To the Altar: Introduction
As schools are opened across the country, I decided to launch a new Xanga series. I realized recently that when I was younger, planning life was relatively easy. When I was in high school, I knew to get good grades and get involved in a wide range of activities to become more well-rounded. College was more of the same for me as I prepared for my chosen career. But then I turned 22, graduated college...and realized that suddenly, good advice was nowhere to be found.
Yes, I still believe our country doesn't know what do with single people who no longer live with their birth families. Not only is there no plan for us, but there are not even many materials to help us know where to start. Take sexuality/dating/marriage, for example. Are we supposed to be dating as many people as possible to find out what we like? I have yet to date a Lithunian-Indonesian artist, so how in the world can I be sure that my current date is the best I can get? (Yes, I'm being a little sarcastic).
What about our careers? Should we major in what we love or what makes us wealthy? Does anyone really get to do both?
What about religion? How should our 20's help us attain spiritual peace and comfort?
And what about finances--who is this "401K" fellow who I should be giving my money to? How much should I give, and do I ever get any back?
Because people are afraid of offending, or perhaps because they don't know themselves, I have never received less feedback in my life than I have since turning 22. I have invited several of my favorite Xanga writers to help me in sharing with you some ideas for managing your single life. Many of you may never reach the altar (and we have an article about that you'll want to read). Others are simply temporarily single and may already be engaged coming out of college. But I liked the title, because singles truly find themselves in transition between places. There's the friends of our youth and the new friends we make when we move for the first (second, third, 50th...) time after college. There's the values of our family and culture, and the new information we receive by coming in contact with different ways of life. I could go on and on, but it's tough to put down roots as a single person. But I believe that unless we do put down some roots and make some firm decisions, we'll never be able to grow and make the most out of this period of life. More on this topic tomorrow before I turn the blog over to my guests.
Comments (21)
Wow, I'd have to clear 18 years' worth of cobwebs to remember what it was like to be in my 20's and single (or at least not married yet). There is good advice to be had; but, like all advice, you should listen to it all and consider the perspective and/or biases of the advice giver before integrating it into a plan for yourself or your peers.
i'm listening
...well, reading actually...
can't wait. this sounds like a great series. thanks for doing it. and thanks for being a good xanga friend
I must say, I'm looking forward to reading these with an open heart.
I could never afford college but, other than that, I'm SO there.
I have yet to be single and out of school. I'm actually the complete opposite of that. But one day when the inevitable happens, I should hope for there to be many books to help guide me through this stage of life.
Woo hoo, new blog series from John!
Maybe it's just me, but I am not having such a tough time as a 24-year-old university graduate who lives with her family and works somewhere near home. Granted, it was NOT easy returning to my family home after three years of independence in university, but when I read your post, I realise my life is not as hard as it seems. Another point is that I am not single, even though my beau is not someone I would have expected.
I will still read your posts, hopefully!
SWEEEET.
Sorry for that superficial comment. It had to be said. I'm looking forward to these blogs..
This is a really good idea! A blog for 20-somethings.
I am a firm believer that more self-finance opportunities should be available or even required. Think of how many people in this country are in debt! (I can't imagine who could possibly be modeling this for us!)
At my school, it's very difficult to get into any sort of finance class without being a business major.
I would love to read entries about finances.
I'm pretty much an expert at being single by now. So, if you need any advice on that, I have plenty.
@Shirlann - It's an interesting debate on absolute advice vs. relative advice that I should have sometime on here. But I think we suffer more from good people overly restraining themselves than from good people being way too pushy with their advice.
@honeybises - You're going to like a friend of mine's post then, it's all about finance
He has a good blog too that you'll have to visit.
@AvenueToTheReal - LOL ok, what type of candy should I buy to gorge myself with on Valentine's Day while muttering that it's just another day?
it's no-man's-land!
like being 20, again.
This is a great idea! I'm almost 23 and about a year out of undergrad and you're right; there isn't much advice out there for us. We're kind of on our own.
I'm really looking forward to these posts. It seems like once you are out of college you are automatically supposed to know what to do. Should be interesting!
There is a distinct lack of direction/advice/respect for single people between college and marriage. I lived there for 4 years, and even in the church, always felt like people didn't know what to do with us. It's crazy. ~ L
I am sooooo old and hardly remember being single so none of this applies to me. I found your site through Jess and just the little I have read has piqued my interest so I have subbed and will read you frequently.
Over 53 years ago, I went from my parents' house to my own house and after 5 children, all grown and gone by now, we are still sweethearts. We have one married, one never married, one in a commited relationship and one divorced and single. Another is estranged from the family so we are not sure of his current status.
I never offer advice to them or others, but will listen when needed. I see in you a confident, genuine person I would like to have as a friend.
Later.
Ava South
interesting!so sweet!
Very interesting concept. I am intrigued to see more.
I am looking forward to keeping up with this! All of the entries I've read on your site have been witty, entertaining, with a lot of choice bits mixed together.
You were speaking about roots-somebody gave me a mental picture of the Christian life.
"Christians are like an upside-down tree-their roots are in Heaven, and their leaves/fruit show on earth."
I want to put my roots down deep in Christ, firmly rooted and anchored. Unshakable, held firm in faith. I want to praise God through every storm and trial that comes in my life, through every good and amazing time.
Anyway, am dragging on...but glad you put this down! I've been interested in doing something kind of similar, writing about the single life-how great it is for one thing, but how it is totally special and unique at the same time....
Ok, I'm going now.
I decided to come back and read the whole series after I enjoyed the featured post so much. So far, I am both intrigued and pleased by where this series is going.
Although I'm not yet sold on this idea, my gut tells me that it is a worthwhile experiment. I'm really curious to see how this plays out.
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