December 26, 2008

• Who's Afraid of the Big Bad Drama Queen?

  This is the first in a series loosely titled "Internet Lessons of 2008."

  When I first came on Xanga, I realized that there were quite a few female writers who seemed to be overly dramatic. I had met these drama queens in real-life years before, of course--the middle/high-school girls who insisted on starting fights with rivals over nothing, or breathlessly pretending that each and every circumstance of their lives was "incredible." I had never really liked the type in real life, because I myself am mostly a low-maintenance, low-drama type of individual. So I expected to wish to stay away from them here on Xanga as well.

  However, on close inspection of their blogs, I realized something. There was nothing to fear from the iron scepter of most drama queens. In fact, there was much to pity. Their blogs told sad stories of their eating-related addictions, or as to how they couldn't get over a past long-term boyfriend or husband or poor parental relationship, or as to how they were raising a child or two by themselves because the father was long gone from their lives. Drama queen? Try lost princess instead, who once had a decent life but now was left wondering what happened to that good life. It often happened that so-called "drama queens" really did have true drama in their life, and there was a decent explanation for why they were so emotional.
  
  One thing I both hate and love about Xanga is the ability to read past blogs. The more I read about you, the more I understand you. And the better I understand you, the harder it is to blindly dislike you or hate you, even if there is a lot about you to dislike. Pure hate is in its way, an odd blessing; it is a pure emotion that simplifies life, just as pure love is.

  So as I read further into the past, I saw that these lost princesses were merely bemoaning the castle they used to have. Their selfish requests and demands were really the call of a frightened little girl for the servants and suitors she once had at the castle. Their fights were the product of a confused woman blindly striking out in her confusion and anger. And a lost princess is very sensitive to insult, because who could hate a princess? So she takes it much more deeply than she should, and over-reacts.

  Really, what is so frightening about a Drama Queen? Yes, they can be annoying and loud, but it's usually also amusing in its own way. Her antics are often merely a desire for more attention, or the occasional flash of jealousy. Both emotions are fairly easy to deal with once you recognize them. Yes, some drama queens are truly evil. But as I read further, I find that many a supposed drama queen is more confused and hurt, striking back defensively at supposed enemies rather than trying to actively offend.

  EDITED Text
  I find that many supposed "drama queens" actually are just in need of a good friend, and that just being that friend makes a big difference. And I get quite a bit out of being that friend, once I've proved myself to be trustworthy. But if it gets too bad, and I find they really are drama queens for no reason, I just leave the area or unsubscribe. Some other time I'll get into the right and wrong ways to befriend a Drama Queen, lest any of my fellow men become the dreaded Internet Boyfriend. But that, my friends, is a lesson for another post.

  • 1:37 pm
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