April 10, 2009

• How to Treat a Man 101 (response post)

  My good Xanga friend Spoke wrote a post on "How to Treat a Lady 101" in January. I promised her a potential response post, and have been plotting my revenge, err, crafting my response since then. I admit that this post maybe should be titled "How to Treat Me 101", but I'll pretend to speak for mankind for now.

  Ladies, I know too often you get fixated on how we should treat you, and I admit men often fail their women. But have you considered how you should be treating us as the gods princes stallions men we are? Out of the goodness and humility (I'm humble...and PROUD of it!) of my heart, I've decided to put together a few tips:

  
  

  1.      Don’t mistake our silence or poker face for a lack of emotion. Sometimes our emotions lag. Men sometimes don’t realize how much something means to us or how much we’re hurt until time has passed. So please, don’t expect us to match you emotional change for emotional change. Don’t call us robots or heartless monsters. We cry too at times, but we do it privately.

  2.      Sometimes we say things to try them out. This really should be no surprise to women, but for some reason women tend to take us way too seriously. Sometimes boys are just boys and say ridiculous things just to get a reaction. Other times, we say things like “I love you” casually before the emotion is truly there. Ask us to explain or repeat ourselves before reacting to the first thing we say as gospel.

  3.      Don’t condone our sexuality. Don’t let guys get away with shameless behavior or words just because “Well, all guys are horny.” We may be, but you don’t have to put up with hourly updates confirming that status! See #2—if you let guys think it’s ok, it’s only going to get worse. When women let guys lead in this area, they give away a valuable source of power.

  4.      There’s a right way and a wrong way to be “one of the guys.” We love it when girls show interest in traditional guy activities—grilling, playing/watching sports, etc. However, don’t fake it or try to “out-guy” the guys. For example, it’s a big turn-off to me when a girl tries to swear just as much as the guys, or endlessly brags that she can burp or drink or you name it just as well as the guys. Keep your own identity as a woman while hanging out with guys, and you’ll have the best of both worlds.

  5.      “He’s Not that into You”…but he’s lazy, horny, or wants to be absolutely sure. If you show a lot of interest in a guy, he’ll play along even though he might not be interested. So make sure you can identify if he’s not. Have him do something hard, tell him there’ll be no sex anytime soon, or force him to commit. Guys do like a good challenge, if it’s set up right. Don’t think that you’ll drive him away, if he’s truly interested! Now, remember #1 and #2; guys may take a little while to understand how they feel about you, and we may claim we’re not interested because we want to check if we really are.

  6.      Laugh. Men love it when a woman laughs. I wish I could do some sort of study on proving that women who laugh and smile more get more dates and are more popular. But please, don’t fake it; we don’t like feeling patronized.

  7.   Don't mock our hobbies. So we play fantasy football, collect weird things, have video game parties, or enjoy seeing who can burp the loudest. Ok, the last one definitely is mockable, but otherwise, take it easy on our hobbies. Do we mock you for your 1-foot tall stack of gossip magazines?

  8.   We like facts and numbers. If you want to speak "guy", use some numbers and facts to do so. For example: "I need this project by noon, and it must have at least 10 pages"; don't just hint to us that "I would like this soon." Soon? What's that? Give us consequences, give us details and rewards; don't expect us to always pick up on vocal tone or little signs. We aren't all fluent in "girl" language.

  9.   No texting/twittering/small talk. All right, this is where I may differ from some guys. If a guy hates to talk at all, then yes, you may only be able to squeeze some texts or tweets from him at first. But for the most part--guys only do those things because girls like to use texting or twittering, in my opinion. I dislike small conversations that go nowhere.

  10. Being given entertainment or gifts is a privilege, not a right. To me, the quickest turn-off is when  a girl I've recently met insinuates that I should entertain her, or that it is my duty to pay for a meal or something else. I am fairly generous, but I want to feel like I'm giving the person a gift, not an obligation. I'm not here to entertain you; turn on the TV if you want to see a comedian. You have to bring something to the table too; don't just sit and watch me hoping that I'll make things interesting. That's so irritating.

  Ok, Part 2 later this weekend, or in 15 minutes, or never, ha, depending on when I get the chance.

  • 10:06 am
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