April 28, 2009

  • Teen Writing Contest update, Question for you

    If you sent me your post via message, I have it for sure I back up my Xanga messages via e-mail, so I can't lose that. I'll try to send you a confirmation message, but even if you don't get one, don't worry.

    If you sent me your post via comment to a post, then I may not have it. Check with me, or send it to me by message (either link or the whole post itself).

    Contest deadline is FRIDAY, May 1st at midnight. After that time, I will collect all entries, get in contact with some judges (or do it myself, if I can't get judges), and judge the contest. Contest results will be out by May 15th at the latest, probably earlier. Any questions?

    Now, a quick question for you other readers who aren't in the contest. Why does it seem that men are attracted to women with a lot of drama as opposed to women who have their lives together? Is that just me noticing this, or do you see it too?

Comments (28)

  • To answer your question, I would have to say its what I like to call their "fix" complex. I've noticed it in my brother as of recent. His last gf was having problems with her ex in that he was stalking her and threatened to kill her and anyone she was with at the time. My brother's sole purpose in dating her (other than the obvious) was to "fix" her problems. I think it plays into their self esteem in that he has to prove to himself, to his male peers, and to his SO that he is capable of "fixing" things. I think its the whole male provider complex, if that makes any sense.

    And if you'll have me, I'd like to help you judge the contest

  • I have no idea... if I figured out what element attracted them so I could attract them without having the drama, I'd be using it!  jk...
    You seem to have your judges in doubt - I don't know if you have certain criteria for judges, but I do have knack for recognizing good writing and plenty of time on my hands next week. Possible disqualifier: I'm not too far removed from being in my teens myself. (20)

  • Is there a certain topic the entry needs to be about, or genre, like creative writing?

  • @Christismyrockforalways - Topic: Life Lesson you learned. Style: doesn't matter, could be poem, prose, audio, video. Let me know if you have more questions.

  • (Enter: Knight In Shining Armor;stage right)

  • @GreekPhysique - okay, thank you!

  • awesome B]

  • Hmm... I've always thought that women are the ones attracted to more drama-type men... the bad boys as it were...

  • Drama equals Excitement!

  • I've sometimes seen it too. I think men like to feel needed and they like to know who the real woman is behind the mask... maybe a few "low life" guys are just looking for an easy target..... I think when we are "a mess" a guy feels needed. His instincts to "protect" are triggered. I think when we are "a mess" we also tend to show a bit more of who we really are and we are more open to accepting a guys help and advice. You can learn a lot about a person by how they handle pressure. However, I also think that most men are turned off by women who are true "drama queens".

  • I actually just blogged tonight on how I'm reading a book that maintains men are the "fixers," the ones who go through a conversation expecting women to come to them with their problems. It's a hunch - but maybe they're more attracted because those women have more for them to feel "good" about? i.e. - "I have many problems, please fix them for me" - he does, or attempts to, and therefore feels better about himself. Not saying that this is the bulk of male / female interactions, but it could answer why men are attracted to drama queens.

  • you've got that backwards, its the drama queens that need men.  which really only adds to their drama

  • The only reason that I can think of why a guy would want a girl with a lot of drama is that they think of her as a challenge. I really don't get why one would want to invite that drama into their lives.

  • I know I"m not on here anymore, but I still read it. I'm about to graduate as a creative writing major and I love to see students write. I think it's pretty awesome what you're doing, and I'd love to be a judge if you need one. Cheers.

  • Thanks for the comments! I finally figured out how to reciprocate! :) and thanks for the congrats, graduation is this weekend, yay!

    and i've noticed that too! My friend and I were just talking about that the other day. But we were thinking maybe that was a good thing because it leaves the guys that don't feel they need to prove something through a relationship to us!

  • I think it's like children ... in a sense. That when they are acting out,  or throwing a fit, the good ones are standing to the side, staying out of trouble.

    Tactful women are probably standing back looking at the drama and just shaking their heads.

    So possibly they just don't see the women with tact?

  • Let me know if you need a judge, as I'd be glad to help!

    In terms of men being attracted to drama-filled women, I have never really noticed it going one way or another. However, it can sometimes be intimidating to approach a woman who has her life completely together, whereas there is an ability to find attraction in one who seems to be unsure of a few things.

    For example: I semi-dated a woman who seemed to have her life completely together, which I found to be both attractive and also intimidating. However, the attraction was also in the fact that she had insecurities which were filled, in part, by my presence. This gave a sense of purpose and necessity in a person who I might find to be 100% together.

    We like feeling like we're fixing something. That's just how people operate.

  • http://x1397.xanga.com/weblog

    i sent you a message, but just sending just though a comment just in case.
    i only have one post on that xanga, which is the entry.

    thank you!

  • Guys are intimidated by stable girls.  They feel challenged and not 'needed' - its old-fashioned but ingrained and not altogether bad. 

    You'll notice that the sucessful marriages have two fairly stable partners though :P   So men figure it out eventually.

    M

  • you're so popular! and no, I'm not gone!! just.. moved to blogspot. check it out.

    frugged.blogspot.com

    I think my blog could take your blog~

    haha.

    okay, so probably not.

  • @poklemint - You're alive? I fail to believe this. I think this is a fake poklemint.

  • I think men like to take care of their women. It's not a sexist thing (in either direction); it's natural instinct. The alpha male takes care of his pack--his females and his children. If a woman has drama in her life, that means she (maybe?) needs more taking care of.

  • **worries if entry got in**

  • @GreekPhysique - nope. I am definitely alive. .. No one would want to impersonate me.

  • Hey, I commented my essay on the original post for the contest, and was wondering if you got it.

  • maybe men have a sort of 'damsel in distress' complex, and feel the need to rescue the women.

    btw, when should we expect those confirmation messages?

  • Maybe they just love the drama and are sadly in love

  • It's May 15th! :)

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