September 17, 2009

Comments (18)

  • ohh.. I like this.

  • Commented then and I'll comment again... this is true, and I wish more people would see it this way.

  • Ooo... burn. I never thought about it that way! Good way to look at it.

  • very profound ;)

  • You are so very right on this one.

  • OH 

  • thank you!  so very true.  :)

  • The only objection I have to this is what if the one you are settling for now is in fact your future spouse?  Constantly searching for another you become blind to what is already there... or am I missing the point?

  • i like :)

  • I don't know you at all, but I really appreciate your position on this.  In my experience, guys who feel this way are very few and far between.

  • Ah, true...

  • That's makes a lot of sense with few words. I like it.

  • It makes sense, but I really don't agree with it. It only makes sense if you're of the mindset that your actions make you less of a person. 

  • Maybe it's because I'm half awake, but I'm not understanding what you're saying.

  • There is truth in this. Unfortunately, to the undiscerning mind, (or the over-ambitious), every person who comes your way will feel like "settling" to some extent.  There is no perfect person. There is always going to be some flaws. If everyone believed this and followed it without thought, the world population would die out in a generation or two.

    You know me, even when I agree with you, I have to present the opposing view point.

    PS. The wedding on Saturday is at 6:15. I wont be able to meet up with you at the C.H. I'll be there tonight though.  Hope you can make it, but if not, have fun at your SG. I'll let you know how it goes. 

  • @Ro_ad808 - No, you make a good point too. I mean more when you know you're settling in a partner, but you do it anyway because you want company or touch or sex.
    @christianchemist - It's tough...I've met some very nice women who also abstain from relationships they don't have full faith in, but that is also rare. "Trial and error" doesn't work when you already know he/she is a mistake, ha.
    @Shy___Away - Ah, but eventually, your actions shape who you are as a person. I see your point--after all, how does one bad/awkward night change the other 364? But, eventually, a pattern of settling will lower your standards, or ability to be honest, or whatever it may be.
    @journey_to_healing - It is terse. Basically, I'm saying that one's romantic choices before meeting one's spouse can lower one's desirability, or give you unwanted romantic baggage. There is such a thing as wanted romantic baggage! ha, which I'll explain sometime....
    @Bokgwai - And I appreciate the way you do that. I kind of miss my old readers who so often would tell me how wrong I was, ha--helped me because I was forced to argue my way to some sort of truth or resolution.

  • @GreekPhysique - The concept of "settling" is a product of neo-narcissism and record high Western expectations. Marriage is not about finding the best possible trophy partner, but rather, working out a healthy relationship with tremendous give and take. The whole idea of self-sacrifice for your partner is thrown out the window as soon as the idea of "settling" enters the equation. "Settling," or the avoidance thereof, is indicative of an attitude of entitlement.  If we even entertain these ideas, our relationships are bound to suffer.

    Let's hear your counter-argument.

  • OH!

    Hm.

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