October 9, 2009

• Response: A Young Life Wasted: Blackmail

  MagisterTom relates a dark tale of blackmail and corruption over at his site. If you are the type to react strongly to emotional, depressing stories, you are going to want to pass. But I wanted to add a few thoughts to his story. I'll be doing this more often in the future; taking blogs that catch my eye and responding to them.

  I am going to be as light on details as possible. But I have been in a situation where a woman I knew was being blackmailed by an ex. He had indecent photos of her, taken during the relationship. He knew her social networking site. And he did his best to make her life hell--all over a little dispute that most of you would laugh at. I worked hard with her to fix the situation, and ultimately we were successful. But it was tense--I earned a new appreciation for private investigators that week. Since then, I've had similar conversations with two or three other women who suddenly realized that sexual material of them was on the web. I believe that Internet blackmail and blasphemy are a serious problem, and that we are just at the tip of the iceberg. There are many varieties--stealing e-mail, photos of drunkenness, etc. It's a serious problem.

  I first want to say, that 95% of you have NOTHING to fear. Blackmailing monsters are not interested in your photos of a casual day at the beach with friends. I see a lot of somewhat irrational paranoia about this kind of thing on Xanga, and it irritates me. Sure, a friend could grab a profile pic and write "Greek wets the bed" on it in Paint, ha, but those type of shenanigans occur in every day life as well.

  However, if by some chance someone ever tries to blackmail you on the web, remember this. The more you give a blackmailer, the more they can blackmail you. Do not respond to them. Run: lock all your social networking sites, and make sure they can't contact any of your friends. (For example, Facebook lets you hide your friends when people search for you). Block unlabeled calls. You probably are best ditching all old social networking sites, and getting stronger passwords. If you can overcome the initial barrage of threats and intimidation, the blackmailer will have nothing left to fall back on. And remember--the police and the FBI can be called in, especially if the blackmailer has revealed his/her identity. Save e-mails/phone calls as evidence in case it does progress to this point.

  And for the Christian hook; God forgives. People forgive. Yes, our society can be intolerant. I chuckle hollowly at a society that claims to be so sexually open but brutally judges women who are. And let's not forget a church that is full of forgiven sinners yet recoils in horror when one is revealed in their midst. But overall, we live in a forgiving country, and remorse goes a long way. We all were young once, we all were stupid once. If one of your friends is ever outed by a blackmailer, don't run in horror. Run to them. They will need you desperately.

  Um, next time I'm writing about clowns and happy music. I hate writing about this and desperately wanted to avoid this topic. But you need this, whoever you are, and I hope this helped

  • 3:34 pm
  • 24 Comments