October 4, 2010

  • The Marriage Dilemma

    So longtime Xanga friend (now Xanga quitter, to my dismay and tearful pleas otherwise) and all-around amazing person Zynverwex posed the following question to me:

    "Tell me. Would you at this point personally rather be single, or rather have married someone who may not be hot, but was your best friend?"

    For the life of me, I couldn't decide. What would you say?

Comments (26)

  • Best friend? Hm. That would have to be defined further...dunno.

  • I've always wanted to marry my best friend.

  • Best friend, definitely.  There's no one better than someone you already know and can trust, and who's always been there for you.

  • hotness means nothing to me and I hope I get to marry someone who is also my best friend.  Id rather be single than marry for anything other than that.

  • @remiblanc0 - I'm suspecting this post will cut along gender lines.  Most girls seem quite at ease with marrying best friend. Not so sure guys feel that way? (Sits back and waits for more responses)...

  • How is this even a question? WHO CARES if a person is hot or not... (says a not-hot female.) Marry your best friend... it's what marriage is supposed to be, I always thought.

  • @GreekPhysique - lol I kind of think they'd be lying. I've often been referred to as a best friend, but then subsequently referred to as "teddy bear" which does not sound like marriage material really. Snuggling would always give you an itchy nose :(

  • I was trying to find a movie clip of this but guess I will have to settle for a link (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0110357/quotes?qt0371380)  it was what came to mind on reading this.  

    @Passionflwr86 - I disagree with your opinion of yourself.

  • At this point, single. I'm too young to be settling. I want the complete package, as it were.

  • Nope. I have to have both. And, thankfully I do. 

    xo

  • What were you leaning towards?

  • My best friend. At least then he'd always be around...and I'd never get sick of them.

  • Well, I made that choice five years ago... he was my best friend and steady boyfriend at the time, and it wasn't that I didn't find him attractive. There are other things that come into play in deciding whether to be single or to marry (or even to be in a committed relationship). I wasn't ready to be married or have kids (he's now married with two young'ns). Guess that covers my answer: I had the chance, and I chose single.

  • @Passionflwr86 - I couldn't have said it better - I'm sad this is even a question. but then again, I was dumped by I guy who said he couldn't date me because I had become his best friend, rather than his girlfriend, so I guess he was trying to let me down gently that I wasn't as hot is the co-worker he was banging. for girls - best friends. for guys- hot. too sad. way too sad.

  • @spokenfor - I hate that...

  • single - I am surprised attraction doesn't matter to people... really? o_O

  • "was your best friend"?

    if "was" is the operative word, i dunno...   but if she is still my best friend, it would be great to have her as my wife!    i wanna have a wife that is also my best friend, so that the journey will be super cool ones

  • i'll stick with being single. not because i have an issue with the non-hotness of the "best friend", but because i'm best off being single right now.

    that said, i'm not sure i want to marry my best friend (and it's illegal) but...idk, I think it would be great to fall in love with someone who becomes a best friend, but the whole concept of marrying your best friend, I guess it bothers me because it just sounds like settling. = Obviously you need a spouse that is a friend, but...yeah, I guess that's that.

  • Hmmm... the nature of the statement seems to imply that marriage should be able physical attraction. Which it isn't. While physical attraction is important, it's not the main focus in finding someone to spend the rest of your life with. Especially considering the fact that we're all gonna get old and wrinkly one day.  

    I don't know that I'd want to marry someone who is my best friend currently... but I hope the person I marry becomes my best friend. Does that make sense? It makes sense in my head anyways... lol. 

  • @Passionflwr86 - I completely agree with you. It's not about looks. What does looks have to do with having a good marriage? That is pretty shallow, if you ask me, and then people wonder why the divorce rate is so high -- they marry people for looks and then realize the person is an ass. 

  • If they were decently good looking I'd rather marry my best friend.  If they were hideously ugly then no.

  • Uh........If it were me, I would NOT marry someone like that right now.
    But if I were - let's say 35 years old and older, I would def. wanna marry my best friend and stay married if I couldn't find anyone! It can get lonely after 40 or so.

    In addition, I was hoping if you can help a fellow Xangan member out? EBAY is hosting a contest with LUCKY
    and I am entering it where you put your "street style" to work! All ya gotta do is click on this link:     http://ebaylookbook.com/#3054

    and Vote (please click instantly - you can click up to 5 times per day), so please click 5 times! <3

    Thanks so much!

    Crystal aka watermoolen

  • Right now I think I'm a little young to be worrying about being married, but my best friend and I did make a pact that if we are both still single when we turn thirty we will marry each other. He is an amazing person and though I've never thought of him "in that way", I wouldn't mind spending my life with him. Marriage to me is about both companionship and love, and I think he could offer me both those things. And who knows, perhaps if we wandered down that road it would work out!

    For not though I'll remain single :)

  • Marry my best friend!!! 

  • i do have to throw out there that there was a whole lot of background to this question... i wasn't just assuming that one would only marry their best friend OR someone who was hot. yadda yadda yadda... and for me, it's never really been about looks, but other aspects of relationships that caused them to end. anyway. carry on. 

  • This sounds like a cheesy answer, but I would want for myself what God wants for me. Having said that, I would prefer to be married to my best friends. But if God sees fit to keep that from happening, I will do my best to accept it joyfully. :)

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