October 18, 2010

  • The Church and I: Leave Church With a Bang

    I know a lot of you seemed confused or confrontational about yesterday's post. Let me further muddy the waters by pointing to some broader issues that inspired the post.
    I have respect for people who leave the church intentionally. People who logically sit down and say "Yes, I know what the Bible says, I know what Christians believe, but I think I'm going to take my chances due to reasons X, Y, and Z." I disagree with them, of course, but I can understand where they are coming from.
    What bothers and worries me, though, is people who seem to leave the church by accident, because they find a new god to take the old God's place. People who get caught up in passions like food or sex, to the extent that church attendance quietly drops off to nothing. They don't really seem to realize what they've done until much later, and then seem to try to come up with reasons for why they left to make it seem as if it was logical.
    I was trying to figure out yesterday, what category do most people fall into? But I was also trying to make the point that, please, don't leave Christianity accidentally. Leave it angrily, leave it passionately, slam the church door on your way out if you must...but don't leave it accidentally, don't quietly tiptoe out without realizing what you left behind.

Comments (12)

  • On the topic of church, though... answer me this: why do Christians go? What's the appeal? Don't say that the Bible "requires" it (I know that "forsake not the gathering of believers" verse) ... but I'm truly curious. Why do they go? Why should they? And if there's no real reason to go... why is this even a post topic? (Can you tell I have issues w/ the church as an entity?) I've been tempted to leave church - but honestly my family and obligatory sense of self keep me there. I love Christ ... it's just His followers (myself most of all) I have issues w/. So I'm answering your question... with a question... they might leave for "logical" reasons like food or sex. But... so what?

  • People who think the church is too judgmental and don't like its rules?  Kinda like the people who say they'll move to Canada...

  • I wrote a comment on that post but I deleted it because I decided that I don't care enough to make my opinion known.  I do that a lot.

    But now that you've made your motives more clear...

    I've been wandering spiritually for a long time.  In the past... 6 years or so, at best I've been clearly a heretic but still self-identifying as "Christian", and at worst agnostic about anything more complex than Plato's Theory of Forms.

    Sometime in the middle there, I had sex.  While it was clearly unrelated to leaving orthodox Christianity, it wasn't unrelated to spirituality.  You see... I lost my virginity shortly after experimenting with a Thelema-influenced ritual.  There are parts of me that want to believe that I attracted sexuality to me via magick.  Those parts also believe that I, at one point, changed a past event.  Those parts of me are what I currently label "unhealthy paranoia".  At best, they're "things you shouldn't do until you understand them better".

    This comment sucks.

    Short answer: having sex was unrelated to changing how I feel about a belief system that does not promote sex, but was related to changing how I feel about a belief system that promotes sex.  Probably.

  • I struggle with finding the real reason I left the Church. I think I know but posts like this make me question. There are three main reasons I have identified in the past (I've given this a decent amount of thought):

    1) For me, the young adults group I was involved with lived this bubble. They were oblivious to the real world. It just hit me one night and I realized that I didn't want to shelter myself from the world. I could appreciate the good and learn from the bad. In fact, I am happy that I made friends with untrustworthy people in the past. I learned a valuable lesson. Oh and when the one guy said he would pray for me to find a man that would take care of me and lead my family...I know he meant well but whose says the man has to lead the family? Why can't you take care of each other? 
    2) Hypocrisy. Yes I know this is a common excuse but it was something that really bothered me. I would see (and experience) people being so kind and friendly and then turning around to talk about someone behind their back. I currently have friends who are very much in the same boat as I am. They went to Church growing up but have moved away as they got older. These friends are very blunt in their opinions and, although it took me some time to adjust, I now see that I would much rather someone be blunt and honest than to sugar coat things and talk behind my back.
    3) Church wasn't meaning anything to me anymore. I started to dread going. The sermons weren't inspiring me, the lessons weren't teaching me anything, and I found myself disagreeing with most of what was being discussed in the bible study. I am by no means perfect but I pride myself on being accepting of others. I know I wouldn't someone to come to me and preach out of no where. Why would I ever force my views on someone else if they didn't want to hear it? Also, am I a hypocrite if I go to Church every Sunday just so I can "punch my ticket"? I believe you should get something out of Church. I wasn't so I didn't feel it was right for me to go anymore. I would rather go a couple times a year and get something out of the service than go every Sunday and zone out (which is exactly what was happening). 
    I do believe there are some people out there who leave the Church so they don't feel guilty for leading their lives one way and hearing about how wrong it is every Sunday. But I think they are fewer in numbers than you would expect. Wonder if there is any surveys out there?

  • I would say my recent (past couple months) departure has been something of a bang than a fizzle.  I left because I moved from the area and have yet to find the place that I belong in my new town.  I'm still looking so I can't say I "left" so in that respect it's a fizzle.  I don't feel right getting involved as I am likely to be moving again in about 6 weeks. Eh, I'm rambling.  Yes I'm seeking but no I'm not "in church" per say. 

  • We were created to worship. people just end up worshiping themselves/something else rather than God. you hit the nail on the head yesterday.

  • I don't feel I tiptoed out, not quite. Just forgotten mostly.

    I'm sick of all the soft bs of (what I see in) the church today.

    Its all lukewarm.

    So far, the best people I've come across are not in church and I don't like this. The heathens shouldn't be more like Christ than the church.

  • @spokenfor - Exactly.

  • Go big or go home is what popped into my mind when I read this.  ♥

  • I don't have a "logical" reason to want leave.  And as much pleasure there is in the world, I can't imagine living without the Eucharist.  I thought your last post was funny, if only for all the sexual innuendo.

  • @jpip02 - Heh. I can't resist a bit of fun like that..rejected titles for the post included "Why did you dump Jesus for your boyfriend?" :-p And glad to hear you're staying in the church.
    @kkrriiissyy - Exactly! I'm always most unhappy when I'm a halfway Christian...
    @The44thHour - It is disappointing, right? Somewhere in my archives there's a rant about only boring 20-somethings staying in church, sigh...

    @spokenfor - @naphtali_deer - Agree, good insight with the created to worship line. I used to dislike that thought, but older I get, more I appreciate it.
    @Ro_ad808 - Those inbetween times when moving are tough, as everything changes. Good luck my friend in making the adjustment.
    @myfate22 - You need to go to a Greek church, everyone there likes to insult people to their face :-p Good explanation as always, friend. You have been with me on this blog for years now, and I appreciate our Xanga-friendship.
    @anaraug - I hear you on deleting comment because you don't care enough. I appreciate you were willing to walk away, if that makes sense, ha. Interesting comment on the ritual; it's similar to Christian problem of "Was my prayer answered, or is it just coincidental timing?"
    @npr32486 - Heh. Good thing there are no judgmental people in the world, right? Try telling some people you aren't wearing purple today! ha.
    @Passionflwr86 - You can't be a Christian without being in fellowship with other Christians. I'm fully convinced of that after reading Jesus's words in John 14-17, and John's follow-ups in I-III John. It's not necessary for it to be 4-walls church, and I know some people have issues, but it must be regular communion with some group of Christians, in my opinion.

  • @GreekPhysique - Exactly.

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