November 16, 2010
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Hating on Your So-Called Betters
Just because I've been well-behaved lately, I'm jumping on a Xanga trend that drives me insane. Every so often on here, someone will insult or criticize a top Xanga blogger. Immediately, all the top Xangan's friends rush to defend him/her, and the consensus is that the critic is jealous of the Xangan's fame. So we essentially just have a mob scene where everyone assumes the hater is jealous, lots of screaming takes place, and then we move on.
A few points about this silly scenario, because I get quite tired of watching this re-run drama. Blatantly personal attacks are not right, but let's not forget that people have free-speech rights too. Not everyone who criticizes another Xangan does it because they are jealous. Some just have different opinions, and got banned or ignored when they tried to leave a comment on a post to discuss this. There's nothing wrong with writing a post about another Xangan that is not 100% positive, although this should be done sparingly.
Also...being a well-known Xangan blogger means that people write nasty stuff about you, ok? For example, some people wrote deeply personal, critical posts about me this last year or two. Did you know about it? No, and that's the way I liked it. Quite honestly, they made some correct points about me, and we settled it by message rather than by recommends and saintly comments about how I was right and the other person was wrong. Don't be dragging fans into the argument so they can tell the other person about how Mother Teresa thought you were a saint or hurt the other person's feelings.
Aside; most top Xanga bloggers have 90% positive stuff said about them. Good luck finding that ratio ANYWHERE else on the Internet or in real life. During the relatively brief time I was mildly popular, I was amused at how many people said nice things even when I wrote a blog that was absolutely ridiculous. There are some very kind souls on this site.
Look. Handling one's beef with someone else via blogs is a bit shameful. Usually I try to send messages or what not rather than post in public. But if I feel that a popular post or blogger is stupid, harmful, or blocks other views from being heard, you will hear about it on this blog. There is indeed a time and a place to write posts about other people's blogs, and there's nothing wrong with it when you have good points to make. It won't help you to call the other person jealous (I had no idea we were still in middle school...), or recommend/link to the post so your friends can defend you. If the person made reasonable arguments, come up with reasonable counterpoints and discuss it properly, or just slink away.
Comments (23)
Ohhhh good points! I have never been one of the xanga celebs! Though once someone got mad at me and everyone commenting on his blog was like "haha she's so stupid- thank God I'm not her." at first I spent time responding to everyone to defend myself and then I just stopped. I didn't write a flame log response because it would have perpetuated the situation! I just let it go and it disappeared.
It's a bit different when the person is popular. But I also kinda get annoyed when people complain about blogging content as opposed to any actual issue.... Should all our blogs be meaningful and/or relevant to world issues? Some people take blogging on Xanga too seriously - like the girl flaming Gravy. But then I guess you can say that all those who responded so vehemently were also taking things too seriously!!............
Ahhhhhhh just let it be.... Let it be hahah
do you feel writing a blog in response to the topic contained in someone's blog, in rebuttal form or discussion form is a type of this hating? I've wondered if people find that offensive or like it because it increases their traffic
I learned the hard way not to jump on the band wagon until I've heard both sides, but you are right, it's pretty silly. Adults should know better.
good point. and a good post. i think more people should step back and re-examine their perspective when it comes to xanga.
@AmeliaHart - someone got mad at you?? and people hate-commented about you?? wow...i really find that hard to believe. you're totally cool! =D
@spokenfor - That's what I mean--if, say, Vanedave writes a blog and I want to write a counter-blog, it doesn't mean I'm hating on Vanedave. I just don't want to leave a post-length comment in his comment section that no one will read and that hogs space, you know? I feel like people don't know how to separate legitimate criticism/analysis from true hatred.
Yeah, I see posts like that every once in a while. I will occasionally read them but almost never respond. Sometimes I actually agree with them, sometimes I don't. Either way, I don't wish to get caught up in the drama, shit-flinging and blood pressure spikes. It's disrespectful.
@GreekPhysique - got it. i think I've written posts that are counters, and then posts that are outright hating on another blogger. I think there needs to be an understanding that there is in fact, a delineation between the two types of post and discussion isn't hate.
I am totally guilty of the posts about people I disagree with. But I totally agree that name-calling and posse-building should probably be left out of it.
@ThePrince - lol. Thanks!
It happens when people disagree with you! Que sera (sp?)
@GreekPhysique - I don't mind it so much when people blog about a topic and a counter argument to that topic. I am more annoyed when I see people blog about well blogging - like there is some kind of code we should follow for blogging, that we should always stick to talking about world issues or important topics and not inane drivel. But if a person wants to post inane drivel they have every right! Why should blogging be taken so seriously, why should there be a standard?
Well said!
There are definitely times when Xanga seems to denigrate into petty middle school/high school-type antics that should be above most of the Xangans on this site.
This is a good idea, I should start criticizing everyone so that I'll be more popular too.
I try to say that I don't want to butcher my friends' page and I say that I'm done arguing with that person. I don't care to continue it in private messages because nothing ever gets solved, because I don't argue unless I'm confident I'm right, and I'm not changing my mind if I'm right, lol.
one day, when i'm a top blogger, everyone will love me. no negatives, just love.
just like real life
Being a top blogger knows how to overcome these bad comments. They can take care of themselves, this is why they are top bloggers. They don't need the masses to come defend them and every bad whim, they brush it off and get ready for the next installment.
One thing that has drawn me to you as a blogger is that you are so logical and so low drama. I appreciate that about you!
Being a Top Blogger isn't easy and that has to be understood too. When drama goes down I defend my friends because when I was catching shit it meant alot that there were people backing me. There were times that I was attacked that actually hurt me. Yeah, I could take to PMs to handle beef, and sometimes I do, but sometimes I just need to settle things the way I need to settle things. Doesn't mean its right, I know this, but thats just how I do.
There is a lot of input coming from external sources when one is a Top Blogger, so yeah, you take the good with the bad but it isn't as glamourous as everyone thinks it is. You feel me? Just me talking from what I've experienced.
I had someone from datingish call me ugly on her website when she wrote a blog about how stupid my comment was and how it had nothing to do with her post - and the only reason I have problems with dating is because I must be ugly. I was mad of course, because I had apologized on the Datingish blog and she never replied, then she writes a whole hate blog on her own site. Then a few weeks later another girl from Datingish basically said the same thing because I said I was against premarital sex, among some other reasons. Its crazy, and I laugh that it all happened on Datingish - never my actual friend or even on Mancouch. I think that says something - just not sure exactly what, ha ha
With the way the internet works, I'm surprise there isn't more haters on here haha.
@AmeliaHart - Seriously? The girl flaming gravy? Are you for real? C'mon. I'd hate to see what happens if someone really flamed someone on here. Can you please open your mind a little bit? It was a joke.
good post!
@rain24u - LOL yeah I mean regardless of whether its a joke flame blog or not ? And like I said in my comment I've already experienced being "flamed" in a blog and in the end I just ignored it!
You make some excellent points here. I've never been a top blogger nor do I care to be. I just like to blog what I am feeling and I have friends that I've known for years mostly on my friend list. But I leave my site open because it is nice to get to know others. And I like to read blogs like this one. There will always be haters. Like you said, it is all in how you handle it. Mature or immature. Have a lovely day!
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