January 7, 2011

• The Death of a Xanga Legend

  Drakonskyr shut down his page, and sadly too many of his friends are gone, no longer talk to him, or are too drunk to eulogize him. I searched Xanga and couldn't find a decent good-bye post. So, um, I suppose I have to do the roast, I mean, eulogy. It's going to be difficult given my gentle soul and genteel upbringing, but I'll do my best.

  To be honest? It was the right thing to do, and I envy him the courage in hitting the shut-down button. I'll miss the sideshow, of course. I still wonder whether most of the fawning women saw Drak more as their emotionally absent father or abusive ex-boyfriend. I never could quite decide, and now I'll never know! Even many of the so-called good girls of Xanga were willing to sell out for a touch of the magic wand and a comment reply, although their attempts to be bad wouldn't shock a nun in Catholic grade school. Amusing how some titular authority goes a long way on the web towards attracting titanic...but redundant man is redundant already.

  And the men vicariously living their lives through Drakonskyr's exploits--oh those men. Put on your own suit already and go write your own poetry, or better yet, learn to play two songs on the guitar. You know--one everyone knows and one you can claim you're playing "Only for you, honey. Only for you." Or the old guys trying to relive their youth. It's always adorable to see a xanga gramps or two adjust his overalls and cackle, as long as I'm not eating. And the haters...oh those haters. "Ok I'm going up against the Drak in his comment section, ladies need to see how tough I am..I had better use bad words...maybe some CAPS...oh, I got it, BAD WORDS IN CAPS. PERFECT. I FEEL MANLY NOW." Reading his comment section was a delightful way to feel superior about myself, and I'll miss the rush of joy when he put up a post. Not that I actually read the posts, mind you. I prefer my primal frat boy rants in the vernacular drunkenese, spoken while two-fisting cheap alcohol. The use of big words and elegance disturbed me and messed with my feelings of intellectual superiority. Please, don't tell me that all smart people don't share all my values and don't agree with me! There's no way I would so foolishly risk my all-important self-image, you know.

  Ok, insults and insluts aside, I will desperately miss Drakonskyr's blog nonetheless. Xanga suffers from an over-abundance of Type B soft guys who sit around and gently analyze the swaying of their hammocks on the beach of life. It's why Drak's page stood out so much. Here was a man who actually wrote aggressively and showed real passion on the page. As one who is tired of all the tendencies of Americans to hide how they really feel, I valued the honesty and passion of it all, even if at times the honesty was accidental and tertiary instead of primary. For those whose most emotional moments in life tended to start with "When I was watching the season finale of...", it was a welcome introduction to some real-world passion and interaction...or as much real world as they can handle, let's put it that way. I mourn for those poor shallow souls and hope they will find enough meaning in the next episode of Glee to carry on. As for the rest of us, we'll find a way to carry on none the less. I intend to complete the grieving process by wearing a suit this Sunday. How will you mourn the passing of the Drakonskyr?

  • 11:38 am
  • 34 Comments