February 1, 2011
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On Why I'd Rather Date Susan from Spain
Recently, I've tried to do some dating locally. Key word is "tried," my friends. It all started when a kind male friend, having heard of my dating escapades (or escapism, cough-cough) suggested none too kindly that I date women that "aren't bipolar," "don't have to register with the government every time they move" and "are able to drive." I of course told him that his detail-oriented approach to love would take all the fun and handguns out of dating, and then he asked about the handguns, and well, long story short, I agreed to try.
I dated women who knew common friends, women who worked at the same place as I did, and women who went to the same church. None of it lasted all too long or got too serious, which is why I'm mentioning it. (I have a policy against getting too deep/detailed about my real life on here). However, I unfortunately was reminded of an annoying truth I had tried to ignore. I hate being reminded of past dates when seeing the woman again in a social setting. I don't want to be in church, trying to think about God, only to randomly spot Jackie with her family. Now I am reminded of that awkward date at McDonalds, err, I mean, a high-class restaurant, and how the only common ground we had is that we root for the same sports team, which meant 5 minutes of conversational bliss embedded in 55 minutes of strained conversation, desperately leaping from decaying topic to quicksand-filled discussion to "please pry this shovel out of my hand before I dig myself any deeper or use it on you." See what I'm saying? And the pastor is saying something, it sounds like "Wait on the Lord," and now I'm thinking about 10 years of waiting and wondering if I should call LaShonda from an internship 7 years ago and MAYBE SHE WAS THE ONE until I remember that LaShonda thinks Greeks are rude, annoying people after her visit to Greece, and so she's not naive enough to be fooled by my attempts at civility. Dream. Dashed.
Ok, but seriously, I hate getting a side of FAIL with my food order, and I tend to have a vicious tendency of blaming myself instead of the bipolar sex offender homebody who dumped me, so...mail-order bride, anyone? I've heard good things about Spain. Do they have Skype there? I always have a soft spot for women with olive-toned complexions! Now to get Babelfish to translate "I see you are a woman of elegance and charm" into Spanish...
Anyway, TRYING to be serious about this, the older I get, the more I dislike having old love interests around. And so I'm afraid that it makes sense to neglect the girl next door, because her family isn't moving any time soon, and this will make my pajama-clad dashes to the mailbox even more awkward than they already are. It may seem cruel to the girl next door, and I know she and her girlfriends are busily whining about how no local guys will take them out. But she'll thank me...once she marries Leonardo from Italy instead. Right?
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Comments (36)
And no, this doesn't mean I'm going to start dating women from Xanga. I'm naive, not stupid. There's a difference! Heh.
I have always wondered what former lovers think when the go to a reunion after 10 years and walk past former lovers. I think it is awkward to be around people that you used to date, especially if it was very good or very bad--and at church would be difficult.
I am glad my dating days are over.
Enjoy the weather,
frank
blame them, and then go on to the next. doooo it.
awe...
BUT BIPOLAR WOMEN ARE FUN! or something like that. And yeah, I believe I read a post by Drakon where he stated how bad of an idea it is to date anyone you can see on a day-to-day basis anyway. I guess you know what he's talking about best. Oh well. Hopefully you'll meet someone, soon. A person who's semi-sane (oh no!). And lol @being naive Vs. stupid. I agree.
@GreekPhysique - Hey now- does that make me stupid?
Well... look at me. Sometimes good relationships DO come out of Xanga (::points to engagement ring::) But that aside... ya just never know. Things pop up in the oddest places... I would wait on the mail order bride for a bit if I were you.
@Ro_ad808 - Seconded!
@Ro_ad808 - @Passionflwr86 - Stop interfering with my rant :-p Heh, but you know what I mean: if the relationship quickly falls apart, then it is quite awkward. Of course, if it does work, it's fantastic
congrats again.
@GreekPhysique - lol... thanks!
This made me LOL. Especially when I misread this line: I tend to have a vicious tendency of blaming myself instead of the bipolar sex offender homebody who humped me,
%-)
go for the mail order bride!! or just date a couple towns over.
@weedorwildflower - That's why it was so hard to leave her!
HAHA jk
@ANVRSADDAY - I think you are blessed to be free from dating! ha. The Lord sent you deliverance in the form of your wife.
@TheBigShowAtUD - Blame, shame, game? Has a nice ring to it :-p jk.
@macphoto - Thanks, Mac
@nov_way - I now just hope for 40% sanity...when I first started dating, it was 80%, ha.
@steph843 - ooh, good idea. I can make a fast getaway if needed, since she doesn't know how to drive, haha. Thanks! you're a life saver!
Sanity is over-rated, anyway.
@GreekPhysique - dating is way overrated anyway.
aww.
@GreekPhysique - All I can say is, Don't close any doors. I thought I would:
1: Never date someone I met online;2: Not get married till I had finished my Masters;3: Not have kids till I was 30.
So of COURSE I met Addison online, married him when I was 19 and in my second semester of college, and had a SURPRISE! baby when I was 25 in the middle of tech school.
Just a warning to never say never, my friend.
This was loads of fun to read. i like the idea of getting to know susan from spain. it's possible there's a purpose in not finding someone in your locale; it's possible future she/you may move.
hahah. just thinking out loud...you know what would really be funny/interesting? if you could meet a nice greek gal. =) probably from the same area your family grew up in too. hahhaa. you never know ;D
you should be in NYC, soon. i hear there are many women. i am an excellent wingman.
Aww, sorry your past dating attempts haven't gone to smoothly. I'm sure you'll meet the right lady eventually, just don't worry about it and God will let it happen. (Besides, there's not point in trying to rush God's plan, rumor has it He likes to do things His way
lol)
I am impressed that you spent an hour eating at McDonald's.
Well, perhaps the right one will come naturally. Besides, you don't look too shabby, so you surely will find someone.
I too have only had trouble with dating and ironically, all my married friends mostly never dated, in the traditional sense, but merely hung out and they found someone (and another found them) interesting. The thing that sucks most about dating to me is trying to let them know you are interested without coming across as needy/creepy. Of course, if she is smitten with you, your in luck, but if you are interested in someone you know & are friends with, it isnt infatuation but friendship that serves are the foundation. But either way, dating to me is like a game of chess, where you only have pawns left and the other side has its full force, seems a pretty impossible feat... lol
Ah, cute and clever. Why are all the good ones on the internet?
It definitely is awkward to go to church with someone who has said he never wants to see you again. Especially when he lives in your neighborhood and works with your father..but that's another story.
Perhaps green card seekers are our only options. Immigrants generally do better here than natural-born citizens anyway, so if you break up, she'll probably have become successful enough to move out of the neighborhood.
I thought this was a very funny post..... if you were taking a date to McDonalds.... well that might be part of the problem. Also, second NOT dating anyone from Xanga.... we all seem pretty screwed up on here. Not just women, I think the guys are as equally screwed up! Lol!
Latin Women are pretty awesome...and I can say that because...well I are one.
I particularly loathe seeing men I've dated around - but that's mostly because the guys I've dated turn out to be the biggest fails at being well...men....Anyway...awkward doesn't even describe it.
I feel your pain though about waiting around for ten years in hopes that something turns out better than it did before...and even that, sometimes seems almost hopeless. But I know where my hope really lies, so I don't worry too much...often.
Ha ha!! How about a mail order harem? Eventually you could rotate them to get enough conversation time... erm...f or the ones that speak English. =P
Hilarious, Greek.
Also, I definitely avoid exes. Not as vigorously as I avoid the plague, I guess, but then, this isn't a contest.
@Passionflwr86 - @Passionflwr86 - I agree with you !!!
"veo que ere una mujer con encanto y elegancia".
A Spanish lady reader.
I so desperately wanted to find someone 'close by'; wishing some guy at church would ask me out. And then it happened. I thought we got along really well and there was something there. And then he broke it off and then I saw him all the time. It was awkward because I was very much into him and just hoping he'd change his mind. I'd hear things like his cousins asking why he and weren't together and I'd hold on hope.
It was somewhat akin to torturous.
His loss in the end. I got me a man who's crazy for me! (And I did have to go to the 'net to find him).
Next time you're in Canada, I've got someone I'd like you to meet. And if things don't work out... like you said, she's faaaar away!
Your blogs are so funny and thoughtful. I barely ever comment, but you should know that I read them, and I always appreciate them.
Also, I feel I should warn you, Spanish women smoke too much.
@dulish - Oh thank you so much! I do know some of my readers prefer not to comment, but I so love knowing that people are enjoying my writing. Thank you. And thanks for the warning on Spanish women, haha.
Bipolar as in "clinically diagnosed bipolar", or bipolar as in "insane psycho freak mood swinger"? I hate stereotypes and improper term usage.
@thisismybl0g - Just an example; I was, though, talking about someone with actual medical issues, I don't throw around words like that casually.
@thisismybl0g - I don't want to get into details, but let's just say I made a dating mistake once, and that she had many, many more problems than just being bipolar...
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