July 25, 2011

  • Provocative Thoughts on Beauty: Hating on the Beautiful People

    I felt like starting some arguments tonight about our thoughts and perceptions of beauty. Here's how the game goes. I posted the first excerpt here, and this is the second one. Once I get 10 individual comments on it, I'll post the next one and direct everyone there. If not, I'll just save the other excerpts for some other day. This little blogging exercise ends at midnight. Feel free to write your own on the theme, and tag me, I'll recommend as long as it's not R-rated or what not.

    Imagine you are seated in a room where several average-looking people are gathered for a meeting. Suddenly a beautiful person walks into the room. It's obvious by their clothes and looks that they not only are beautiful but know how to best present their beauty. What's your response as the heads turn and the bodies shift?

    I have to admit, my response is to be repelled. For me, the battle lines were drawn long ago, and beautiful people are on the other side. They are style over substance and simple over smart. Unfair? Sure it is, and so is the way our society treats the beautiful compared to the ugly. Beautiful people have everything come easy to them. Why should I contribute to the societal imbalance? I'll go find an ugly person to talk to. Yes, I've worked to not be so biased against the beautiful people, and I've improved, but I think I'll always feel that way. Prove me wrong? Why do beautiful people deserve to be treated differently?

Comments (30)

  • They don't, but they always will be. I don't begrudge them their good looks. How can I, just because I fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down? We'll all still die, and I guess that's where I'm coming from.

  • My response is probably to look at the people who are looking at the beautiful person, out of curiosity (After checking out the clothes on the beatiful person who just walked in, of course :P . I am a girl after all). I want to see how long they look and what their expressions are, and how quickly they will go back to whatever conversation they were having beforehand. 

    Beautiful people don't deserve to be treated differently...but they generally are nonetheless. 

  • They don't deserve to be treated differently unless the reason you are all there is for a beauty contest, where such a thing might matter.
    Maybe the question "beautiful" people ask is, How come no one else takes as much care with their appearance as I do? Most people don't wake up looking fabulous. And anyone looks nice in clothing and hairstyles that flatter them. I mean, have you seen what you can do with makeup? Photoshop?

    Some don't really care how they look, others don't have the tools or finances necessary to afford to take as much care with their appearance as they might want. Some make do and are just plain nice. (see my pun there) I'd rather have ten nice, plain people than one pretty person who's probably stuck up and knows they're hot. (see my assumption about pretty people being jerks?)

    But hey, I've usually been considered good-looking, even when I didn't feel like it, so what do I know.

  • @galadrielspitcher - oh you know other women in the room were looking at what the other person was wearing hahaha only women look at shoes amirite? :D

  • And another thing-- I've seen people I thought were not good-looking....but when they turn out to be the kindest, most genuine people I've ever met, it can shine through like a beacon. It was impossible not to think, How can I have ever found this person unattractive? This person is beautiful. 

  • Actually, I'm in the same boat. I've seen many handsome men all together and sure I'll find them attractive but I wont go drooling over them. I try and treat everybody as equal as possible. I'm over the looks issue when you have so many more average looking people around there's no need to feed ego and treat that one person who probably wouldn't appreciate it more than the rest. I don't submit to unequality but I don't know I'm always treated as the ugly chick so it doesn't matter. 

  • @BranmacFeabhail - I agree and me too! :)  

  • I hear people say this a lot, but I never have had that resentment towards the "beautiful people."  I would imagine that, subconsciously, people see them as superior and wish to appease them, so they probably do get away with more.  However, beauty is just one of the many reasons that people are treated differently than others, and I pretty much figure it evens out in the end. 

  • I like the commenter who noted that "we all still die." Yeah. That. Screw it. I'm fine with whatever I am-- I take care of myself, and NO ONE can ask more than that of me. Their completely worthless to me if they do. 

  • You're assuming there's a standard definition for "beautiful," yet on the ish sites, there's almost always a disagreement on which models/movie stars are hot or not. I don't think an ugly person you talk to will find it flattering that you talk to them just to avoid giving prettier people more attention.

  • Beauty is marketed to teens and young woman like a bottle of foundation make up. Woman think that if you don't look like the cover of Vogue you are considered ugly. Now rational people like you and me don't see it like that. Someone who is beautiful to me, may not be beautiful to you...but I do not think super model with trendy clothes is. To me its perspective...just because someone looks nice when they walk in the door, doesn't mean they are beautiful. beauty to me comes from the inside. I have many hefty friends that prove this point.

  • @BranmacFeabhail - haha so true!

  • Edit: firstoff, bear in mind I'm feeling numb at moment so having hard time stringing words together.
    Hopefully I've evolved some. It's judging in a way when I've dismissed a stereotypically "Attractive person" especially when I haven't taken the time to get to know him/ her.

    -----

    Personally, for me, a person's character and integrity are what makes him/ her most attractive to me. I also get turned off by those whom everyone else is fascinated with. I tend to gravitate towards and like most
    the hidden treasures who others tend to overlook or ignore.

    I really should not say this, but I used to go out of my way not to show favoritism, to the point of sometimes ignoring the supposedly prettier/ more successful/ popular person, especially when in company with others who were being ignored or overlooked.

    But I've since realize this is not best either. In addition, there are "non handsome" people who can be ugly in character of course too.

  • Beauty is a gift from God, just like intelligence, musical ability, mechanical talent, etc. There's nothing wrong with any of those things and no reason to judge anyone for having them. Any gift can be misused if the person who has it is selfish and unkind, but if the person who has it is humble and grateful, it's something for everyone to enjoy.

    I no longer intend to let feelings of inferiority keep me from enjoying the gifts God has given others. If I do, I'm just cheating myself out of the pleasure of seeing the value in something that's meant to bring the world pleasure. When I let myself feel resentful of others' gifts, it makes me less able to show my own as fully as God intended. I want to use the gifts God has given me to bless others; letting others' gifts bless me is a place to start.

  • I too have a tendency to mistrust really attractive people.  It usually sends a signal to me that their priorities are not the same as mine. I tend to like "salt of the earth", practical, or really funny people.  Essentially it's all the same thing... both of it boils down to basing our judgements on how a person looks on the outside.  Unattractive is not an sure-fire indicator for intelligence, beauty does not always negate substance.  Appearance is not the whole story, it's just the beginning.

    PS- very clever to hid people's profile picture ;)

  • There is no reason to treat a person different based on looks alone, but perhaps their outer beauty is an expression of inner beauty and vice versa. 

  • @estadquietos - COMPLETELY agreed, and same here. 

  • Understandable. Unlike other forms of prejudice, lookism will never be transient, some cultures moreso than others, but it is ingrained in humans to favor those who look healthiest and avoid those who look least healthy for reproductive purposes, just like the ancient greeks committed infanticide to eliminate the unfit and the animal world will take best care of its most healthy (i.e. most beautiful) young (people do this too).
    Beauty's impact in modern times-especially in the professional world-is often underestimated, if not completely ignored in its relevance to interpersonal interactions.
    However, I think beauty is not something that will carry you very far by itself, but it gives you a better chance in first impression situations (i.e. interviews, getting dates).

  • @Pickwick12 - 

    I agree. I think you are wise to seek to appreciate all the gifts. However, I dont think insecurity is necessarily a motivating factor when acting in a way to avoid showing favoritism.

  • excellent topic/ post, John

  • Beauty is subjective, well sometimes.  Anyway, that beautiful person is still a person.  And for all you know, that beautiful business person is sick and tired of heads turning when they walk into a room to conduct business.  Maybe they want to be seen as a person, instead of an object to be stared at?  Maybe they want to be taken seriously for whatever business proposal they are going to offer up, instead of watching drool seep out of people's mouths? 

    You cannot possibly know much about that person (maybe that person just lost 100lbs and for the first time in their life they feel like they are presentable).  It is not fair to judge by skin color nor by beauty or lack there of.  Treat them and respect them like a person.  While I see your point in giving the "ugly" person a chance, you're still not being fair.  Good people should be given chances, IMO.  Too often the fake, play all the right moves people are those who win all the time. 

  • Thanks :)

    @OstentatiousEloquence - 

  • @inanorchard - I usually have a profile image of a nature scene, so people won't judge me by appearance.  I don't say much about it, but I also tend to gravitate toward people who are earthy, gentle, kind, and who don't look like what is termed "model material".  Again, not that these all go in the same package, but I guess I feel safer with people who aren't so crazy attractive.  or, at least who seem to know and behave like they are apparently attractive.   

  • @estadquietos - I was responding to the fact that he characterized beautiful people as enemies. I see that as different from trying to promote acceptance. 

  • @Pickwick12 - 

    Yes, I see where you are coming from and think that also important.

  • @Pickwick12 - @estadquietos - Pickwick is right in detecting some real issues with my attitude. Some of my attitude is noble. However, I used to really think that pretty people were less likely to be Christian people. :( A Xangan here, model4christ.xanga.com, helped cure me of a lot of that bad attitude, but it still lingers at times. I am trying to drop the hate for pretty people while still seeking out those people who are less fortunate in looks. It's a bit of a balancing act.

  • lilliandon@rocketmail.com
    Hello Dear,
    My name is Lillian i saw your profile today on(www.xanga) and became interested in you and i want you to contact me back through my private email here ( lilliandon@rocketmail.com ) so that i can give you my photo for you to know whom i am,and remember that distance or colour doesn't matter anything but love matters allot in life,am waiting for your reply.
    Lillian

  • Well, first of all, if this attitude is the result of having worked on it, I'd hate to think of what your opinion was before. Second, beautiful people don't deserve to be treated differently, they deserve to be treated equally, which you are not doing.

  • @GreekPhysique - It's encouraging to see that you're progressing in your views and attitudes, as we all should be. I try to think about my own standpoints frequently and work on things that are distorted, but it's such a difficult thing to see in oneself. Thanks for the thought-provoking discussion. I enjoyed reading the trail of posts and comments.

    Edited to add: I also want to say, I truly believe that beauty is many different things and that part of becoming whole people is being able to recognize beauty in different packages, including ourselves. I won't claim that I know how it is for guys, but I do really believe that's a part of true maturity for women.

  • There's a certain sadistic joy that comes from being unexpectedly mean to a beautiful person. Not that I've ever done that, of course. 

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