August 5, 2011

• Why You Want Her to be a Warrior

  I talked about this list of "What Guys Wish You Knew" in two earlier posts, but didn't fully expand on why a guy would want a woman to be a warrior. I'll let the author's words speak for themselves at first and then paint the picture more exactly.
  " I remember the first time I realized how beautiful my now-wife Alfie is. We were working at a summer youth camp together as staff counselors...I was blown away by her warrior's heart. Her endless willingness to work hard under less-than-optimal conditions, her gentleness and patience with kids who tried every nerve, her dedication to praying for them, and her graceful way of handling difficult situations were qualities that were impossible to ignore. To be honest, it was after I noticed all of those "grace" qualities that her physical beauty became so obvious to me."

  

  Here is why I want her to be a warrior, to be willing to get tough when the situation calls for it:
  Warriors work hard. There's a stereotype that only men sweat, and that for a woman to work hard isn't sexy. Go, for example, to this page of exercising people (photo above is from it). You have to scroll to the very end of that first page to see a woman sweating. Why is that? For me, a woman who works hard (sweat optional) is attractive. It shows character and resilience. It shows she's willing to be uncomfortable if she is doing something she loves, and that she'll bring the same perseverance and focus to a relationship. In my opinion, hard workers are some of the best people to be in relationships with. One Xangan who will remain nameless impressed me so much because I could see how hard she would work when she loved a man. If hard workers can channel that energy into a relationship, you are incredibly fortunate.

  Warriors don't quit. There will be many days where our relationship is complicated, or when one or both of us will be battling cruel sickness, sadistic bosses, or annoying relatives and children. Real life isn't the movies. Those monsters won't go away when we discover the secret element "stupidonium" that cures everyone of being a raging fountain of idiocy. It may be years of effort before anything changes. Sometimes you just have to put your head down and keep going. I want to know that she won't quit just because Plan A or Plan B didn't work. If she's in it to win it, so am I.

  Warriors demand much but give more. I once was teammates with a calm, polite girl in high school. I wasn't holding up my end of the workload, and she was working hours a day. So she challenged me to 4 consecutive games of 1-on-1 and kicked my butt each time. I was upset but awed: her message got across. Guys don't want a mom...but yes, sometimes we need a smack upside the head, and we know it. Don't use nails or brass knuckles, but if you know how to deliver a wake-up call in a way that makes us the better man we want to be, we'll learn to appreciate it. Relationships in which one partner never gets challenged are not relationships. It is more master-slave than a true meeting of equals.

  Warriors protect first, second-guess later. One day, I will fall flat on my face in front of her. Maybe it won't be my fault: I might be unjustly fired, or ill. Maybe it will be my fault: I spent too recklessly or spoke out of turn. Either way, I hope that she will have my back until I get up again. She may kick my butt while I lay there and mutter that I had better not make a habit of this while she's trying to do the work for both of us. But I know she won't let anyone else kick my butt and that she wants me to get up again. She won't stab me in the back and is willing to wait until I can stand on my own two feet to give me the lecture I may deserve.

  Warriors control themselves and speak confidently. The soldier yelling "Charge" isn't worried about how his/her voice sounds or whether he/she is qualified to lead the assault. I put these two characteristics together because the woman who knows how to manage herself isn't afraid to speak up. I want to know that if I'm not home, everything will be just fine. I want to be able to introduce her to my friends and family and know that she can hold her own, even with my more annoying friends. A warrior knows how to assert herself and own the ground she has been given to protect. I think of the Proverbs 31 woman, for example, who runs her business and household like clockwork. It is said of her "She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come." Her positive strong image means that she can laugh and speak her mind in an admirable way no matter what she faces.

  • 5:13 pm
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