November 17, 2011
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Mystique and the Single Geek
Ah, mystique, that little special sauce that makes relationships sizzle at the beginning. A little mystery and tease go a long way in making a relationship interesting. But suppose that you are a geek or nerd (and yes, not quite the same thing, but for now, forgive the combination). You live for understanding better that thing that you are obsessed with. You want to know every last little dimension of the USS Enterprise, Skyrim, or Banach spaces. Mystique is an enemy to be cut down to size and subdued.
So picture, now, the geek dater with his girlfriend. The girlfriend hands him a card proclaiming him as "The Best Lover Ever" to which the geek pushes up his glasses and says "Actually, by my calculations, given my stature and lack of physical fitness, I'm at best the #47th lover in this town."
Imagine that some man who may or may not be me is attempting to tell a nerdy, glasses-wearing woman how beautiful she is, only to be derailed by a long explanation about how she really isn't attractive because she doesn't match the modern standards of beauty. Of course, a lengthy explanation of how this man who may or may not be me has different tastes than the modern standard, complete with references, dates, and bibliography would only further serve to eliminate all traces of mystique. And she didn't even appreciate my "I make passes at girls with glasses" t-shirt! err, I mean, moving on.
But seriously folks, somehow the geek handing over a 40-page user manual about all things himself or herself so that the prospective symbiotic partner (that's the technical term) can be fully aware of quirks and quibbles kills mystique. I know! I think it's because she only read 3 or 4 pages. If she had only seen my diagrams on page 27!
Ok, that wasn't serious. But yes, geeks and nerds are mystique-impaired. We get lovers interested in us because they can't figure us out, then we feel we must explain everything to them and ruin any subtlety to the romance. We are mystique-killers, sometimes in a subtle way, sometimes overtly. And I don't see this changing any time soon. Now, anyone want a gently-used user's manual? I spent a lot of money on color printing and don't want it to go to waste! ...err, mystique killed again.
Comments (30)
LOL! But sad at the same time, because it is so true.
GeekMystique...would be a good pseudo name.
hahaha! "we feel we must explain everything to them and ruin any subtlety to the romance." check, been there done that
Bahaha!!! All of a sudden I feel this strange urge to date a geek!!
Taking a geek out on a date is like taking a strobe light into a bat cave. Love this post because I'm very much mystique-impaired
Genius my friend!I was wondering a bit in the beginning where you were going, but I think at the end you nailed it. I have found in the past, I might have been too open too fast, but I dont want to be closed-off. Truly, it is a mind-challenging balance. You think ones that geeks and nerds could crack easy but since it is about being social, we seem to fail very epically indeed, lol
Well, I myself am looking for a literature nerd and not a geek- but bravo!
I enjoyed this
I once dated a guy who was really into anime. I don't think I understood half of the things he said to me. Not sure how that relationship lasted 6 months.
Haha. I hear ya. My users guide is multilingual.
I do that! And I totally want the user's manual, too. People are fascinating.
Mystique is only fun in the movies. In real life, you may not need an explanation for everything, but it's good to know what you're getting into.
What is up with you? You have to fill me in on life sometime soon!
Well done. Just one question: Are Skyrim players nerds or geeks? I stood in line last week waiting for its midnight debut and wasn't quite sure.
Good article. Well explained.
Love this!! i'm a total nerdy girl, I love nerd humor & pick up lines. And obviously, smart nerdy men are the BEST!
LOL! This is pretty awesome! This is why I love my nerds
@QuantumStorm - lolololol
Well... I must truly be a geek, because when I read your title Mystique from X-Men was the first thing that came to mind.
If someone had written a manual for me, I would have gladly taken the time to edit it for him or her.
@Passionflwr86 - Glad I'm not the only one. At first, I thought maybe John liked a woman of many disguises and personalities... or he could have just liked blue women. That was also a possibility.
Star Wars.
Lol! I want this manual! Geeks are awesome, i might date the jock but i´d always marry the geek!
.. .. though it does depend on his "profession of geekism" is 
I love this post, but I do have some questions and comments... First, I need an explanation of the differences between a geek and a nerd... Second, I think the problem is not you, but them. But it is good you are getting rid of the manual, you'll find someone who can understand you without it... Thirdly, if you ever feel the need to tell a girl in glasses, she is beautiful, you know where to find me. I promise I won't respond with a clarification on traditional beauty!
@oxlorixo - It took me about a year before I could reasonably understand most of the things my anime/computer geek husband said. We're in our 8th year together now.
@sonnetjoy - Aww cute! I could have overlooked his love for anime, but we were just so so so wrong for each other.
@fleurdelisart - It is true! I just did it when responding to someone who left a comment here, haha.
GreekMystique it is.
shh.
@Roadlesstaken - I'll check if it's taken
@CuddlyKat - LOL I'm sure you're many a geek's dream, Kat!
@QuantumStorm - Heh, I did want some of my fellow geeks to think about how to retain more mystique
@Doubledb - You'd think if we treated dating as a game, we could use our super-geek skills to be awesome, heh.
@oxlorixo - Aww too bad! With your artistic nature and humor, might have really worked
Here's hoping you find the geek of your dreams, haha.
@sonnetjoy - LOL that's cute about it taking a year.
@Maesworld - Mae! Only one of my favorite writers ever commenting on my blog, was so happy to see this. If you do marry a geek, he'll be fortunate indeed.
@boxedwine - That's because you get geeks, ha, few women do.
@la_solitaria - I do! you're right. Busy time is almost over for me.
@nerdyveggiegirl - haha aww, thanks for saying that, smart men everywhere thank you.
@GreekPhysique - right! lol, so true but there is no win, only fail, ha ha ;.)
LOL! You just need to find the female nerd/geek version and you are good to go!
Mystique is overrated!
@oxlorixo - Certainly understandable. I just really empathized with the complete "huh?" factor that dominated our dating (and early married) conversations. I usually only understood about 1/3 of what he was saying. It was complicated by the fact that he speaks very swiftly and in a low tone. Hehehe.
soo, i AM a nerd/geek! it all makes sense now!
haha. tell her to shush and sweep her away mr. romantic! lol
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