April 12, 2012

• (Warning: Sarcasm): 5 Ways Christians and Homosexuals are Alike:

  Despite what you’ve heard, Christianity and Homosexuality have more in common than you’d think.Troll hat on head and ironic mustache at the ready, I delved into 5 funny coincidences of homosexuals and Christians:

  1.      Emphasis on announcing your –ity identity publicly.Homosexuals call it “Coming out of the Closet.” Christians go forward in front of the church or get baptized in front of everyone. In both cases, members are expected to announce to friends and family that they have taken on a new identity.An outpouring of joy and peace should follow this declaration, with many claiming it as the happiest day of their life. Members of either community who refuse such steps of openness may be confronted or shamed.

  2.      Persecution obsession. Members of both groups have been known to obsessively forward stories of harassment, persecution, and death.  Poor Matthew Shepard and Cassie Bernall’s decade-old bones are not allowed rest, as both are trotted out as ultimate examples of how threatened both groups are in America

  3.      Denial that members can change. Many Christian groups believe that you never stop being saved, and many homosexual groups believe that one cannot change their sexual orientation. Both groups try to discredit ex-members who claim to have found freedom outside the circle of trust. No one has ever improved their life from leaving an –ity, right?

  4.      Complicated perspectives on love. Both groups want to claim ownership of the word. Christians claim that their God literally is love, while homosexuals claim that their relationships are merely the logical outcome of the love they feel for their partner. Far away from the happy camera glow, however, such groups that are invisible minorities only have belief as a way of identifying themselves. And there are those who believe less, and thus love must be withheld from them until they conform.

  5.      Uncomfortable relationships with science.Christians use science to try to find evidence for creation, and homosexuals try to use science to find evidence of a gay gene. Ironically, groups that exist mainly on how one feels in the mind and heart work quite hard to make science prove their identity.

  • 3:11 pm
  • 18 Comments