June 28, 2012

  • The Church and I: The Lost Faith Chronicles

    If I am ever a pastor, I would love to have a service where I invite people who were once Christians but no longer identify as such to stand behind a curtain* and detail how they lost their faith. I feel that the entire church would benefit by taking a long look in the mirror and asking itself why so many past members and faithful followers are no longer Christians.

    I often run into people who once were Christians. Some of the stories are awfully sad and cruel. The young lady whose preacher/missionary father made her feel like a sex object comes to mind. Some of the stories are rather funny in a warped way. People can be fickle about faith, dropping it down and picking it up for the oddest reasons. Some of the stories I watched closely as they unfolded. I remember a visit with a friend in California as it was clear that she was leaving Christianity soon, and my desperate attempts to stretch out the visit because I realized it would be the last time we would have a common faith.

    To wrap this up, I'd like to hear from you, if you once were a committed Christian (not just "my parents made me go to church") and now are not. What led to you leaving Christianity? What, if anything, do you now have as a substitute? Link your post below or message it to me, use the hashtag #LostFaithChronicles . If you feel it's too private for that, email me . I know you're out there, and it would be horribly dishonest to pretend you don't exist. Enlighten me.

    *EDIT: By standing behind a curtain, it drives home symbolically that the people speaking could be anyone--your friend, neighbor, or co-worker. Naturally, churches would like to think that lost faith is a special case of one odd person, but that would be a deceptive mistake that would hinder the service's impact.

Comments (32)

  • I was going to be a theologian and a minister. I was GUNG HO to learn everything I could and did. Very very long story but to make it short. Church manipulation and the false doctrine of "infallibility". 

  • I would be interested in reading about this also. 

  • Also recced in hopes it will bring in more responses. I'm interested in reading what's said.

  • I'm with Holly Hobbie; (aka @mtngirlsouth ) I would like to hear what people say on losing their religion. Thankfully, I'm Lutheran, and between the beer and the brats, I stay faithful.  

  • Los Angeles can be a supermarket of Christianity. Some of the Mormon churches have sports activities and a gym for those sports minded.The Lutheran have musical programs for those who like music and my friend goes to a church where music is so different.

    I am spoiled by music and his stories of his Church is like a true Hollywood story. The Rap performance is amazing, and gospel music comes in versions of Soul, folk and regular Church fare. The talent list if you check it out is also part of the music industry.
    Los Angeles is able to build edifices to Church ministries. One Korean superChurch provides a bus to pick up followers every morning and in the evening for their sunrise service and evening service. They have a huge parking lot and an annex parking lot for their large sunday service. They even have a bank truck to pick up their sunday's donations.
    There are two large black Churches in Los Angeles. They are so large that the politicians usually show up to their services. Many churches have political might just because that is where concerned folks often use to show their concerns.
    The Catholics have remodeled their Church and Los Angeles has one of the newest Cathedrals around. You know that a major Catholic Church has a presence when they also have an appointed Bishop. The Catholic school system is also present with several High Schools and a College.
    Sorry that I did not stick to the subject of Christians who have stopped going to church, but there are lots of Churches ready to pick up where another Church has "failed".

  • I once read about someone that left because they spelled his name wrong.

  • i left bc i realized it never did anything for me. as well as it didnt help the people who really did believe and needed it. if you want details message me

  • I guess I don't qualify to answer this, because I don't know if I could have been considered a "committed Christian" when I was younger.  Although I was really adamant and outspoken about it once upon a time, once I hit the age of reason, I left the religion.  It took me four years to readily admit it to myself, but in truth, I stopped being a Christian when I was 12.

  • @Kellsbella - I went ahead and changed my profile pic to Holly Hobbie for a change. 

  • This would be an interesting talk/sermon/message

  • @mtngirlsouth - I look forward to actually being able to reply on your posts......you naughty Holly heathen!

  • @Kellsbella -

  • No curtain needed - I lost faith when I grew up.  Reader's Digets Version:  Believing in some omnipotent being that expects me to pray to him/her/it rather boggled the mind; why would anything omnipotent require to be worshipped?  I like my beliefs to at least make a little sense, and Christianity made less and less sense the more I looked at it.  

  • I stopped going to church in college when I was depressed and no one cared. I didn't go regularly for about 20 years. I started back, not as a renewal of faith, but for the community aspects of it. Now I sing in the choir and go out to breakfast with fellow choir members. I barely ever listen to the sermons - they are rarely relevent to me. I read a Bible with meditations in it, but they rarely speak to me either.

    I don't feel loved in this world, why would I believe that there is a God out there who loves me? I try to believe, I try to pray, but it all feels empty.

    Why do I do it then? go to church and read the Bible? I read a story once about a Christian teacher in a Jewish school. She was reading a story to her class in which the main character had a loss of faith and stopped practicing his faith. This bothered her students more than the loss of faith. They explained to her - When you feel far away from God is no time to stop practicing your faith. You continue to do the rituals in hopes that God will come back to you. Faith is like anything else you want to get good at - you have to practice.

  • I think some people may not necessarily lose their faith, as much as they decide to let go of it. And one reason is when their faith gets put in people, or the church instead of in God. People will always mess up and let you down. To keep your faith in God and not in the acts of others can be difficult for sure.

  • I discovered that my faith is my own and that no one is to blame if I lose it.  Blaming other people for loss of faith is a self inflicted wound.

  • I'll try to do this, but I have to get through the family reunion first.  So far it is going much better than expected!

  • I became a Christian for a while because I felt like I could identify with the basic of Church understandings. My boyfriend at the time, Zack, sort of forced me into it.. and I enjoyed it..to a point. Eventually, all the restrictions and single-mindedness drove me away. I believe in something, just not a Christian God. And I could never accept a man as my "savior." I never wanted to be saved. I wanted to be loved. And to this day, to me, there's a great difference. I just can't be so biased into one religion. I'm such a hippie. Christianity doesn't agree with me.

  • @LaSalamandre - I completely agree with you!

  • And it does bother me that so many Christians I know think it's the one true faith... There are so many similarities in other religions. Buddhism, Judaism... If Christians were more open and knew the history of their religion.. and the reason why their holidays occur on certain days... then yes, I'd be more open. But until then, I can't be. Too close-minded.

  • The Church never supported me when I almost DIED last year. No one ever asked, cared, came to visit. This was AFTER my father died (2009) and I was told, REPEATEDLY, "you'll get to see him in heaven. God is your father now."

    BUT I WANT HIM NOWWWWWWWWW! I CAN'T HUG AND KISS GOD!

    Ugh. 

  • This should be interesting to read. I'm Agnostic. I only went to church up until I was 4. Both of my parents believe in God but don't like the idea of being "controlled" by any certain rules, church or book. (Don't take controlled in an offensive way.. *hugs* lol)

    My dad and I have never had that great of a relationship.. and the other day we had a conversation about religion, the meaning of life, ghost and just a little bit of everything.

    He explained his beliefs and I told him about mine.. afterwards "I think it's great that you believe in whatever has meaning to you". It felt great hearong that from him.. even makes me emotional now. Lol

  • I was bought up as a Catholic, went to church every Sunday.  I did nursing as a career, during this time a 12 year old Italian boy was dying and his parents wanted him to be given his last rites, so the local priest was rung to come, but he said as the child was not from his parish he wouldn't come,   So by the time his parish priest arrived the boy has passed away.  I never went to church from that day forward, I was so disgusted..  If that is religion you can stick it..........

  • About your friend, why would it have made a difference if you had been of a different faith the next time you visited

  • I left Christianity when I realized that facets of the story of Christ were common to many (older) religions. After that, an honest assessment revealed to me that my beliefs regarding God and the bible were rather circular. Christianity is not as compelling when you do not start with the assumption that it must be true. 

  • At least many of these comments can point to concrete decisions.  I think a worse situation is those who still consider themselves Christians but slowly abandoned all tenets of their faith years ago. 

  • @Biggerred@healthkicker - There are so many stories like yours, but it makes me sad that one bad priest made you chuck the whole thing. I walked out of Mass two years ago because my priest was spewing politics from the pulpit, and didn't go back for weeks. I no longer listen to a thing he says and have no respect for THAT ONE PERSON, but I go to church to be with people I really enjoy hanging out with. I still like the Bible stories, saints, and I love to sing church music. I try to have faith (but mostly fail.)

    I you don't ever go back to the Catholic church, I would understand that. Just don't let your faith hinge on one bad person.

  • @Ninjitsuknifer - Someone once said, "You can sleep in your garage, but that doesn't make you a car." Many, many,many people "go to church" but doen't practice their faith. Do they Love thy Neighbor? feed the poor? etc. etc.? No. And it is even harder to know what is in people's hearts. Mother Theresa left a letter saying she had serious doubts all her life, that she felt far from God. If Mother Theresa, who gave up everything to live with the poor in Indian and serve them, especially the dying poor whom no one else cared about, felt a crisis of faith, what can the rest of us expect?

  • I am still a Christian.

    But I am a very, very angry Christian.

    Christianity is stuck in medieval times. Telling me WHAT to do is fine, but they should back it up with HOW to do it. Forgiveness? Wonderful concept, but don't PREACH to me about it, TEACH ME HOW. Christianity abandons people at their lowest moments, when they are drowning in sin. That is when it should be there the most, but instead the church does not want to get its hands dirty.

  • In my teenage years I spent a lot of time trying to reconcile outlandish events in the bible with what hard, testable science showed to be possible/not possible. After a while I just couldn't do it. During this same time I remember specifically our priest (who legitimately believes he is living in the End Times, despite the horrible record of preachers in the past who have claimed The End Is Near), at midnight mass on Christmas, said something about it being close to the end and that we should be reaching out "to our Jewish brothers and sisters" and try to bring them toward "the true faith". I was shocked at the arrogance of this. What I essentially heard was "Out of all the religions of the world that are and ever have been, and out of all the hundreds of sects and factions just of Christianity, THIS one is the CORRECT one and everyone else, despite all their deep convictions, are WRONG, and I base this on nothing whatsoever!" Because what basis could there possibly be for that?! 

    I can pinpoint that as the moment I knew it wasn't for me anymore. I didn't become a firm atheist until much later, but that was what ultimately drove me away from the church.
    (That and the fact that the latest service was at 930 in the morning. I do not do mornings. Especially on weekends!)

  • For me it started by seeing a lot of hypocrisy in the church I grew up in. We would sit in church and hear sermons about loving your neighbor and not judging only to be followed by our weekly lunch at a local bagel place where many of the adults would criticize other church members. I switched churches in college with a younger congregation (the church I grew up in was made up mostly of retired folks and a few parents with young kids. Not many kids my age) and even went to a weekly young adults group. It was what I needed at the time but over the span of a year it finally hit me that the other members were using church as a way to shield themselves from the world outside. It was their crutch when things were bad it was their way of explaining the seemingly unexplainable. I felt like they were choosing to be naive and honestly hurting themselves by not getting to know people outside their church.

    Since college I've met a lot of people who are not necessarily religious but are just good people. This was what made me realize that church is what you make it and if I'm forcing myself to go instead of enjoying it, I'm being dishonest with myself and disrespectful to the church. My "church" now is many different things. Early morning runs where I have my thoughts to myself.
    I don't know where I stand on religion right now but I know the structured church is not right for me at least now. Thanks for bringing this up. It's something I can't talk to many people about outside my home in fear of offending someone. Wish this could be an actual round table. I've love to hear the views from all sides.

  • @Nushirox2 - I was a bit in love with her :p that is why, and dismayed we no longer shared a common faith.

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