September 19, 2012

  • 5 Mistakes Couples Make on Facebook

    If that title was any more SEO-friendly it would Google itself for me and place ads. 

    1. The "Me Thor, You No Talk To Girlfriend" Move. "So, I see some men have posted on the picture my girlfriend just posted of herself. I'll just tag myself in photo and then comment." Doesn't at all look like you're overcompensating or insecure.
    2. The "Shout Curse Words in a Nunnery" Move. Oh, his friends and/or family befriended me and they're all Asian...time to make racist comments about the Gangnam Style video! Know your audience, his/her family and friends are watching you, and some of them want you to fail.
    3. The "Here's the Road to My Heart" Move. "I just wish someone would buy me flowers...or listen to me without correcting me..." It's a little obvious that your boyfriend is that "someone" who is not living up to expectations. And it's obvious that you're telling us what your new boyfriend should do. Good thing no man ever took advantage of such a disclosure to seduce a woman away from her boyfriend. Nope. It's never happened.
    4. The "Steal My Boyfriend, Please" Move. Honestly, this is a bit picky of me. But sometimes, when someone tells you a little too much about all these hidden great qualities their significant other has, isn't it a mistake? Let's be honest, some people are ring-chasers. Please, my future wife, don't tell the other ladies what a great kisser I am. Loose lips get kissed by destroyer ships, or something.
    5. The Shared Facebook Account Move. Because it's not going to be awkward at all ever for her or my friends to message me on a shared account. Nope. This isn't at all going to cut down on having any friends other than each other until we are isolated alone and grow sick of each other and have midlife crises and leave our 3 children crying at the zoo while Daddy and Mommy shout at each other with their middle-aged voices. Phew!
     

Comments (30)

  • I can't believe that my first post after a very sentimental post would be super-sarcastic! No one saw that coming, right? 

  •  Lol The shared accounts always makes me laugh. My friend's boyfriend writes a paragaph about how much he loves her on her wall almost every single day. You can scroll down her wall and it's pretty much nothing but writings from him and they all basically say the same thing with different wording. And she's like 20 and he's like 40 ( haven't talked to her in a few years, we were good friends)

  • LOL at "Loose lips get kissed by destroyer ships "

    and I am still laughing at the whole "hard-packed shots of intimacy to the head" thing. seriously. it just randomly pops into my head and makes me giggle.

  • I agree with all these. Kinda relating to the shared fb but not really, my ex-boyfriend and I actually had each other's passwords to everything, but not really because we were jealous/afraid of each other cheating. i voluntarily gave him my xanga password at the time and he gave me his and it was more so we could read each other's private posts.. mostly because we both were just curious? and then we just traded passwords for everything. I don't think I'd be interested in doing that again, though.

  • LOLLLLLLLL!!!!!!! People don't know how to use Facebook these days I suppose lol

  • NO TO ALL OF THESE!!!  Except one of my ex's started doing the first offense. Not tagging but commenting. And yeah I'm a pretty private person when it comes to extra details being aired out on FB, including shortcomings. Then again I don't recall ever asking a guy to buy me flowers or being disappointed by the lack of them. 

  • PERFECT Timing!  Just decided to finally let fb know I know (and am engaged) to Jason.  Got this as I was waiting for fb to open. Quickly read it to make sure I was't make an awful mistake.  Phew.  I think we're in the clear. :)

  • Love it!

  • Lol. Mistake 1: Openly declaring your relationship on fb. High school move. Class rating -452 points.

  • Lmao thats funny.

  • blech. i don't even have a facebook. can't be bothered :)   funny post though :D  

  • This just made my day! Very funny and soooo true

  • I have a friend that has a shared Facebook account with her boyfriend, I don't even bother commenting because I don't know which one will reply. Although I think that she mostly runs it by all the flower pictures that are posted on their wall. Facebook has become a place for my amusement, to see what new thing my acquaintances have done to embarrass themselves.

  • I see the last one and think it is the most annoying...
    I always am thinking, who is talking and who am I talking to?!?

  • Whew! I'm happy to say that I haven't committed any of these social networking blunders. Crisis averted.

  • This is too true. Great post hehe

  • I seriously hate #5!! I friended a high school friend a while back even though he has a joint account with his wife. I didn't realize that her idea of a "joint" account is one where she runs the whole thing and just puts his name on it. I don't know her, never met her but I have noticed from her posts that I would never get along with her. I honestly don't know why I keep "them" on my friends list.

  • I see the last one so much....uber creepy !

  • The joint facebook thing is just weird.  Definitely annoying.  Good list! :)

  • Yeah, I hate the joint accounts. Good post, greek!

  • I just saw one of my friends the other day announce that he was combining his account with his wife's.  Apparently they had some kind of trust issue and this was their way of resolving it.  Somehow, I don't think that's going to help matters any.  If you really distrust one another that much - give each other your passwords.  But shared accounts are just confusing for everyone.

  • The last one is so aggravating to me. My cousin and her husband share an account and her husband basically runs it. He posts the most ridiculous things and updates "their" status almost every 10 minutes. Ugh.

  • My cousin shared a facebook account with her girlfriend of four years but they recently broke up. Now that account (with my cousin's name on it) has "mysteriously" been hacked. Status messages are popping up: "I sleep with men for crack", "i trample on women's hearts", and "do you know so-and-so? I got her kids taken away"...for reals. No bueno.

    I agree with thatslifekid, high school move.

  • Lots of agreement here. I feel like a shared FB account is more hassle than it is worth unless there's a reason to watch over one's S.O. reeeeally closely...

  • Insanely funny! I haven't had a Facebook in a really long time so I don't know what people are doing now but I can only imagine it's like what I see many of my friends doing in their actual relationships. Everyone is looking for their "soulmate", the one person they can be their awful selves with and NEVER argue with, the love of their life! Yea well, like 100 years ago, that was UNHEARD OF. People don't understand that just finding someone you can get love and get along with is really all that is needed in a relationship. It's the cliche "marry your best friend". But people are so jealous, possessive, and fickle that I'll be surprised to see out of all the people I know, who winds up in their relationships the longest.

    Get post again! Loved it!

  • Maybe. What was the name?

    If not, it's nice to meet you :)

  • Humourous and true - nice combo.

  • One of my friends has a Facebook page but NOT her boyfriend. So it humors me when she bitches about him.

  • #5 = YOLONT.

  • Hahaha, I agree with all of these! After experiencing plenty of my own fb hand to forehead moments, it is my current policy to keep fb and love life far far FAR away from each other!

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