February 12, 2013

• Dating Diseases: Prove-a-Point-itis

  Warning: This post contains humorish elements and was produced in an area where it might have come into contact with raucous laughter. If allergic to such substances, please kindly avoid this post.

  No Asian girl who has met me has ever had a crush on me. The extent to which this offends me is incalculable. (Perhaps not, it's about 3 shoulder shrugs, 1 furrowed brow, and a slight "tsk tsk" sound). We're talking about a slightly taller than average, nerdy white guy who has a postgraduate degree and writes on Xanga. Given stereotypical stereotyping, this post should be written under duress due to the massive crush of Asian femininity distracting me. I should be writing polite Dear John, err, Jia letters like the following:

  "Dear Jia, thank you for your application to the Greek Institute of Affection. After careful scrutiny and the ordering of your transcript from Cornell, we noted that you only graduated magna cum laude with a 3.78 GPA in psychology and are not currently enrolled in a post-graduate program. You have been shuttled to the Facebook Admiration track. Please limit yourself to one photo like per day."

  The preceding two paragraphs should make you want to slap me silly or at least ask me important questions such as "Hey hypocrite, when was the last time you showed significant interest in an Asian female?" and "Stereotype much, egotistical man-child?" followed by a lot of awkward silence on my part. "Really?" you say. "Guys would actually think like this?" Why yes, thanks to a dreadful dating disease called Prove-a-point-itis. Much as I'd like to deny its presence in my life, I'm just as susceptible as the next guy. "Oh, she was surprised that I went out with Susan? She doubts my man-credentials? Oh she won't be so surprised when she has met (insert really-weird self-created moniker that is one-half animal kingdom, one-half crazy)."

  Ugh. Prove-a-point-itis is why guys date the cheerleader, and then one year later realize they would have been much happier with the librarian. Prove-a-point-itis turns normal women into "The Bachelor" contestants, foaming at the mouth at some guy who has been placed on a slight pedestal. It's embarrassing, self-destructive, and humiliating in retrospect. And yet, it persists. Now if you'll excuse me, I think that secretary who looked into my office had a slightly disapproving glance. Just wait until I catch up to her and use my wit and charm...to embarrass myself further.

  • 9:23 am
  • 8 Comments