So in about 10 minutes, half your friends will disappear as they go to watch the finale of "Breaking Bad." The show is about a teacher who, faced with cancer and high bills for medical care, decides to go down a bad road. By now, it's proven he's evil and selfish, with few or no redeeming qualities left. The show is highly violent, so I am not necessarily recommending it to you. I haven't watched it because I'm too cheap (or too smart, pick your choice) for cable.

As a Christian, the right (or shall I say "right") way for Breaking Bad to end is for Heisenberg/Walt to pay for his crimes. Walt needs to die, right? Eye for an eye. Sure, let his death be a little meaningful. Maybe he dies trying to help his wife, Skyler. But he must pay for his sins. I'm tired of shows where the antihero rides off into the sunset happily or pays little for his crimes. (Dexter is but the most recent example of this).

But...is that really the Christian ending? Isn't the true ending to root for one where Walt comes face to face with his own evil? Where he renounces his wickedness, blames only himself? And if he does that...and lives...and "gets away with it"...no, justice won't be done. But mercy will be done.

So here I sit, the vengeful brother of Prodigal Son fame, wanting Walt to die...and yet realizing that the Christian ending is that the murderer comes to repentance and life. It's not every day that a violent, evil TV show makes one better realize true Christianity, heh. I'm appropriately humbled.

Hi all. So...I'm one of the many who is just way too frustrated about the new Xanga. I'm trying to stick with it, and I'm trying to figure out how to still get things done. But I have to admit, I've become increasingly disappointed.

Also, for what it's worth, I keep getting banned from Xanga Facebook groups. Silly me, thinking Xanga was for blogging instead of emotional tantrums and exhibitionism. I guess I just never understood, did I?

So Doubledb happened to point out that soon after my posts about what happens when one posts sexy photos of themselves, Xanga went through another exhibitionistic phase. And I had to admit, my post series was incomplete...because I deliberately skipped this scenario:
"...obviously, sometimes I'm the friend of a woman who I think is quite attractive. In that case, her posting more sexual content is a much different dilemma than what I am about to describe. Jokes about fat man in a bakery go here."
So let's beat the dead horse of exhibitionism one more time (trust me, he likes the attention). What happens when a woman friend one find attractive posts photos?

Unfortunately, it creates a "Fight or Flight" scenario. At times here on Xanga, I've found myself fleeing the scene of one too many selfie posts. It's hard to say something non-sexual when all the posts become sexual, and so I just find myself quietly deserting my friend. What is there to say, really? I'll give you a funny example of how it all falls apart quickly. An acquaintance took a photo of herself in a swimsuit on the beach. She looked great, but I didn't want to sound sexual in complementing the photo. However, I wanted to make some comment, so I settled for something like "That water looks great!" Needless to say, she felt insulted. You just can't win in those situations, right?

But also, let's be honest. Sometimes, when a girl or guy posts a hot photo of themselves, it creates a "Fight" mentality...or shall I say, "Fornicate?" There's then a strong temptation to flirt with them, to get them to post more photos, to do more. It creates a strong sense that one is available and willing. And that would be hot...if that's what the person who posted the photos actually wanted you to think. Because it's more likely that you are not the reason they posted those photos. Or, that the photos they posted are as far as they want to go. But no, now you've seen the photos, you're sexually awakened, and you are sure you want to take things further.

Side note: I find myself in that situation with one Xangan now, heh. I know I should let things go, walk away, but they are just too hot for me to give up flirting with them quite yet. So this will end in me embarrassing us both, hurray. TOTALLY WORTH...err, I mean, it's embarrassing.

I suppose it's why I get a little angry when taken folks post photos. This is where I'm going to make you angry, but quite frankly, on a primal level, it feels too much like you are saying "Ruin my marriage, please!" or "You can't have this!" Both are troubling messages to send. And I think it bothers me more on Xanga, where people are much more open about how they feel and what they think. I know people on here fairly well. So it's more of a shock to the system, I suppose, when sexual content is posted?

But even the dead horse of exhibitionism is complaining that I've hit him one too many times. So, there you go. New topics soon, promise!

So, continuing my take on that controversial blog that a mom wrote to teen girls about being more modest: let's talk facts. We live in a tech savvy, personally open age where one is more and more likely to see immodesty and or nakedness from one's friends. It might be in person, might be on the web; regardless, it'll happen. So, if we stick with the author's perspective, what's a Christian man to do when his friends become more sexualized?

Here's a thought. What if we just decided not to notice? What if we instead decided to focus even more strictly on the non-sexual dimensions of that woman? If we stepped up giving her attention for all her positive, non-physical traits? If we refused to comment on her more sexualized photos, but made sure to cultivate and compliment any and every effort of hers to be seen as a fully-dimensional person? Your sexuality does not have to be a "threat" to me. Now, mind you, I'm not going to start hanging around strip clubs to test myself, heh, but I am in control of my response, and I can, if I so choose, decide not to sexualize you, even though it seems that you would prefer that.

Another thought; when you see a woman wearing clothes that you find very sexually stimulating, before you start assuming what she wants or what she is looking for, ask "Why is she wearing that?" For one, the answer might be "She likes that top, and totally had no idea of its sexual impact." But I know, let's get real; she's quite aware that lying on her bed like that for her selfie is seductive. What then? Many of the roots of intentional exhibitionism are things that should provoke a compassionate response from a Christian man. Feelings of loneliness, approval needs, low self-worth, alienation, and boredom are often why that girl might take a seductive photo of herself. Too often, I think our culture assumes that sexual behavior is due to lust, desires for forbidden behavior, or selfish motives. Sadly, it's often more mundane or heartbreaking reasons than that.

I think of the girl I know who was a virgin when raped; she admittedly struggled with high sex drive since then. I could tell a hundred more similarly sad stories. At the end of the day, I feel much of the responsibility for sexual response is on the man. Yes, sometimes it's the case where a woman is doing her best to lure you in with her sexual behavior and unfairly putting you on the spot. But 90% of the time, it's on the man to look past the clothes (or lack thereof), and see the heart instead of the skin.

So a few days ago, a mom posted a somewhat over-the-top missive to teenage girls about their selfies on the Internet. In it, the mother talked about how those sexy teen girl selfies were bad for her teen sons to see, and what a problem it was. Blogfriend Ali also weighed in on this in a blog titled "Maybe I don't care if you imagine me naked."

By the way, I found her blog title a bit amusing because I tend to imagine Ali dancing in the kitchen while cooking. (This is because, of course, Ali has mentioned doing so on several occasions. No, I don't have a cooking fetish. Well, ok, I do, but only when it comes to Mediterranean foods. Oh dear, digging hole deeper, let's move on.)

But! All that said. I think there is an untold story in all this. What happens to a guy when a platonic female friend starts posting sexier photos and acting more like a sexual being? And yes, believe it or not, many of us guys do NOT have secret feelings for every one of our female friends. Once in a while, we befriend a woman for purely friendship reasons. I'm also thinking specifically about the teen years, where some peers go through puberty much earlier than others. I was going to entertain you with tales from my monastic past, heh, but it'd be too awkward for words.

Side note: obviously, sometimes I'm the friend of a woman who I think is quite attractive. In that case, her posting more sexual content is a much different dilemma than what I am about to describe. Jokes about fat man in a bakery go here.

Honestly, it's a difficult situation. Let me ramp up the controversy; I've also been through this on Xanga a few times, heh. And each time, it's a lose lose situation. What are the options of a platonic friend (and by that, I mean you have no sexual interest in her) when your quiet, angsty writer friend suddenly becomes a video vixen? (or photographic pinup, if you prefer pictoral alliteration).

When she posts a photo of her seductively posing in front of her bookcase, you're the one saying "Oh, I see you finally picked up the Twain book!" while everyone else is all "GURL DEM CURVES ARE CURVETACULAR." If you're lucky, you don't have some guy who doesn't know you calling you gay because you aren't hitting on her. You're the one asking her to post more pictures of her pet cat, while they're the ones asking her to post more pictures of her, uh, other cat.

You fight to try to pretend that nothing has happened, but you're not allowed by others, let alone her. If you message her to talk about books the way you have for the last 6 weeks, she's suddenly guarded and weird. You wonder why, and then you realize she's had to put up with every last man she knows on Facebook emerging out of the shadows and relentlessly hitting on her due to her last few photos. You too are caught up in the wave of distrust, and your formerly eager, chill friend now is caught up in her new status.

I've at times been the platonic friend or acquaintance of a beautiful woman, and what perhaps also annoyed me most was the reaction of men. Obviously all they wanted to talk about was how hot Susan was, or how envious they were that I knew her. It made me uncomfortable, because to me, Susan was just a friend, and as such I spent precious little time considering her curves. To try to change the conversation to Susan's non-sexual qualities was next to useless.
Me: "Yeah, but Susan snores like a freight train."
Them: "Wait, you've been around Susan when she was sleeping? THAT'S HOT BRO WHAT WAS SHE WEARING TELL ME."
I just find myself nodding my head at their panting and trying to change the subject to sports or something.

In the cruelest twist, I find myself in an impossible situation, friendwise. By the standards of platonic friendship, I was doing pretty well. I offered a reliable source of conversation, some intellectual banter, maybe a smile or two. But now, I get compared to the men who appear on the scene to flatter and seduce her. Bill over there just sent her a selfie of his six-pack; Hassan just wrote her a love poem comparing her eyes to the purest waters of the Arctic; and Joe is telling her to come for a ride in his convertible. Meanwhile, I'm the dork sending her a link to the latest news story on the Middle East, asking her what she thinks of the Arab Spring. Mind you, I get why I lose, but I don't have to like it.

I never, ever mind losing to a boyfriend, someone who genuinely wants to build a complete future with her. But having to put up with 50 Shades of Pickup Artists burns me. And yet if I point out that Hassan stole half that poem from Tumblr, I'm now being jealous or what not. The competition creates feelings of resentment, as if my offer of platonic friendship was accepted merely out of her lack of being able to get anything better. I didn't sign up for the competition for her body, so why am I being included in the pack? I can't wait to hear your "You talk to me a lot, but you never hit on me like the other guys do, why is that?" speech. Because I've never ever heard that before, thanks. Go take your mirror you use for selfies and take a good look into your eyes and consider that maybe you're not as universally hot as you've been told by simpering sycophants.

So what's a bemused eunuch to do in sexyland? Do I now have to show sexual interest in order to maintain a friendship? (Don't laugh, it's true!) Am I stuck abandoning my friends as they actualize their sexuality...thus leaving them at the mercy of the most hormonal of men, right when they perhaps need a friendly man the most in their lives? Must I grit my teeth as I read the poorest of pickup lines delivered by the simplest minds underneath each new photo? And heaven forbid that I suggest Susan may be making a mistake by tagging her Instagram photo #sexysingle; but you idiot, what kind of person do you think searches Instagram for those tags?

To conclude, have you ever been around the type of men who troll the Internet for sexy ladies? Have you been to the forums where they post your pics, comment on them, and try to plan how to break you down, passing around your # and screen name? Ever walk on the basketball court while guys exchange information on your weaknesses and sexual history, turning you into an easy commodity to be passed from bored guy to bored guy until you lose all value to all but the weakest link of the pack? Bemused eunuchs have been there to watch the sausage get made. But hey, no one listens to the guy with no balls. So I'll remain the bemused friend of a bevy of beauties while watching the cycle endlessly repeat itself. Go on, enjoy the attention. I'm still reading the Twain book like a no-balls balla.

Hi everyone. So I really wanted to get off to a fast posting start on Xanga 2.0. But admittedly, the tragic passing of Jamie has left me unmotivated. Jamie was on Xanga as jmeLove_x. Also, I encourage you to donate towards her funeral if you could. People have already donated $5500, which is so exciting! The donation link is here. Now, I know many of you don't have much to give, and that a lot of people have already donated. But could you just donate a few dollars so your name is on the list, as a way to honor her? One of the things that always touched me about Jamie is how she was so lovable, yet she had so much bad luck at times with the people in her life. Thus I feel it's extra important to show that she was loved. Ok, I'm stopping because I'm in a public place and don't want to get sniffly. You know what I'm saying here...I was going to write an obituary for her here, but it felt a bit too much after I wrote it. But it felt good to write it out, and I hope those of you who knew her will honor her in your own ways.

But, I wanted to point out how AWESOME the new comment system is on Xanga 2.0. Do you know you can search every comment you ever got on Xanga? I was checking out comments on my first blog ever...in 2004. Also, it's SO much more easy to reply to comments on Xanga 2.0. I never was very good at responding to comments because I am a bad person err, because it was hard to hit that @ button so many times. But on Xanga 2.0, it's so easy, that I'm going to do a much better job of responding. Finally, I love that you have to approve comments at first. If you don't like a comment...just don't approve it. That's a very easy way to ignore trolls!

Yes, I miss the recommendation button and pulses, but let's not miss the good stuff.

For those of you who knew her, jmeLove_x has passed away in a car accident. We're trying to figure out some way to make a post on her Xanga or let others know. For now, this will have to do. I'm shocked and grieving, as all her friends are.

It's here. Whoa, change. But I'm here and will give this a proper look after work today. Who else is on?

All right everyone, here's who I have so far who I am transferring to Xanga 2.0. If I didn't have your name on the list, you can still ask, but most likely I did not know you that well and thus you didn't make the list. Still, you're welcome to try. People named on this list, make sure I have your names in correctly so I can switch you over.

@CuddlyKat

@Jmallory

@Nightcometh

@MommyMarty24

@mellywelly15

@SUMRdaisy

@IrisLoamsdownofDeephallow

@Jessicasutopia

@Mypandabear

@xXrEMmUsXx

@Like_A_Tigah

@ThePendragon

@SpiderDad

@iones_island

@GreekPhysique

@Crystallinne

@Stronger_with_every_tear

@smile4leena

Thanks.

I've had several conversations with friends of mine who are no longer virgins, and those who still are. And some repeated themes come up that have been bothering me. This is from a generic perspective; no claims to religious, psychological, or scientific wisdom here.

Just because someone is a virgin, even if it's leaning more towards "technically a virgin" territory, doesn't mean that they are not a sexual person. There's all these misconceptions about virginity, and I don't even know where to start. It doesn't mean that the person is religious, scared, holy, shy, not mature, or any of that, by itself. (Jokes about "virgin, not by choice" go here).  It just means that they have not had sex with an actual person. And I hate of course the double standard that punishes men and women in unequal ways for being virgins.

Just because you've had sex once doesn't obligate you to have sex again. The worst, that makes me quite sad, are those who have been raped or abused and then feel they've lost the ability to say no. Or, I've run into a surprising number of people who seem to have sex out of obligation: "I like him" or "He really wants sex" or some other reason. And frankly, it just seems sad that their own motivations seem irrelevant. Every time you have an opportunity to have sex, you have a choice. Sure, you may say, for example, "I'm going to have sex with my wife now even though I don't feel like it" and surrender your right to say no. But you still have a right to say no. And why is it such a big deal when men refuse a woman's sexual offer? Society still creates a bias that men will always want to have sex and women have to be talked and teased into it, and that does neither gender any favors. And I hate of course the double standard that punishes men and women in unequal ways when they have sex together.

Eh...I dislike posting about sex on here, and I'll go blush or something now. Just had to be said, etc.