The fire ranger measured the soil one more time. It was dryand rock-hard. He frowned, and punched in some figures. This small grove oftrees was particularly flammable. Just one lightning strike on this hilltop andthe trees would incinerate, bringing fire to the rest of the forest. The landmust be protected.

Ah, fire, his sworn enemy…he had seen what fire had done toso many before him. Taken his oath to fight fire, wherever it be found. Foughtfire by helicopter and on the ground, by himself and with his fellow rangers,yelling his rage as fire beat them back and took ever more land for itself.Fire could not be satisfied; by its very nature, fire looks to expand, looks toconsume.

And yet…the grove was so dry. Could he really trust thefurious summer storms to pass the grove by? Was it not better for the rangersto start the fire themselves, so that they could control it, evacuate anyanimals ahead of time, and let the underbrush burn so that the larger forestmight survive?

He smirked as he realized the irony…he was not truly a firefighter, but a fire controller. The true goal was to contain and control fire,not subdue it. Man, once again posing as savior, once again finding himself inleague with the devil he knew and thought he could control. It’s a story as oldas Eden. “Initiate burn sequence,” he spoke into his walkie-talkie. The waitingwas torturous. He needed to hear the fire…he always felt better during, but notafter, the fire…

So this entry is inspired by chatting with Jenny on why a man might be flirtatious even on days when a woman doesn't look her best. I am remembering, for example, a friend who was horrified that a guy was hitting on her while she was wearing sweatpants and walking to a friend's house. "How can he do that when I'm dressed like THIS?!" she said. But let me run through the many reasons why a man may like you when you're makeup-less and in sweatpants, from "Most noble" to "PERV;"

I was going to write blogs or do vlogs based on various conversations I've had with Xangans. I got two lined up already. Willing to take other suggestions and/or thoughts  
EDIT: 

Was thinking about how, over time, some former Xanga friends and I have argued, to the point of becoming mild enemies.Sometimes, there was a good, serious reason for us not to reconcile. Other times, our argument was rather silly, but it still left someone with hurt feelings and we don't talk like we used to.

The Apostle Paul comes in for a fair amount of condemnation by modern readers. Among other things, he's seen as harsh and anti-woman (search for "Paul Misogynist" and you'll see several articles). His odd stance in I Corinthians 7 about celibacy doesn't help matters. But is there really an acceptable case for celibacy? Mind you, celibacy is not just being single, but abstention from sexual practice of any kind and of looking for a spouse.

For previous parts of this series on Marriage and Casual Sex, click links.

Paul's pro-celibacy message comes as a surprise. I can just imagine the gasps in Corinth on reading this letter. Ok, fine, no sex with prostitutes...have sex with your spouse often instead...I guess that could work but...wait, what?

"I wish that all of you were as I am [single]. But each of you has your own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that."

Paul, how can you want us all to be single and sexless for life? Really, Paul, I'm going to survive in Corinth on Two-for-One Temple Treat Thursday? Paul, have you SEEN those new barbarian prostitutes with the light skin and bright eyes they just brought in from Gaul? And now you say...no sex at all?

There's another intriguing footnote to this section. Paul expressly says "God did not tell me to say this. This is my opinion." In other words, Paul is pro-celibacy to a fault, and to some extent, this passage isn't even Scripture. In fact, some sources say that for the Jews of that time, "...marriage was a duty, to the extent that a man reaching 20years of age without having been married was considered to have sinned." But, if Paul thinks that much of celibacy, let's see why he has such a bias. Note, though, that he does refer to celibacy as a "gift from God;" in other words, not everyone can achieve it.

1) Marriage is for sexual wimps. Paul is "that guy" on the corner with the rest of the apostle-bros, deriding you for getting married. So needy! I'm only partly joking. He expressly says "But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion." Remember when I called marriage a sexual fortress? Armies only need fortresses when the other army they are fighting against is stronger. Else the first army would come out of their fortress and defeat the other army. Getting married, among other things, is a confession that you can no longer abstain from sex with someone.

2) Marriage is not a source of holiness. Paul does tell those Corinthians who were married when they became Christians to stay married. But he also says "Each person should remain in the situation they were in when God called them." In other words, a single person should not believe that, say, marrying and having a family will make them a better Christian.

3) Marriage is a liability in terms of time and energy. Several times Paul refers to a crisis in Corinth: "present distress" in verse 26, and "time being short" in verse 29. Paul is leading up to an argument that the responsibilities and cares of marriage must be seriously considered. More precisely:

3a) Marriage creates additional troubles. Paul balances out his advice when he said to remain in your previous situation. Sure, you can get married; if you must, go ahead, look for a wife. But he says "But those who marry will face many troubles in this life, and I want to spare you this." If you are married, and your spouse is having a bad day, you are having a bad day. If you are married, now you might have children, the ultimate source of lost time and energy. Marriage is not to be undertaken casually. In fact:

3b) Marriage creates a continual obligation to your spouse. Forgive me, but I find this passage oddly romantic, even though Paul is trying to be as practical as possible:

^"I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s affairs—how he can please the Lord. But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world—how he can please his wife, and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband. I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord."

Paul is saying, if you plan on getting married, your spouse is almost like a god to you. Again, note the duality: Paul is saying, for both husband and wife, your lives should indeed be spent being concerned about pleasing each other. You will and should spend your time trying to think about what you can get or do or say to please your spouse. You'll have less time to think about God. God honors marriage, and allows this. But Paul, being a practical man, is thinking of all the lost opportunities to serve and pray and help because you are married.

My own two reasons, based on some of Paul's ideas, as to why permanent celibacy may be good are as follows:
4.) Singles can be more service-minded. At times, I'm honestly a bit upset at my married friends. I see married friends disappear from charities, from public life. They no longer have time for old friends, or people in need. This is saddening. Paul is perhaps at his strongest here. Given the burden put on Christians to serve the weak, to witness to all men about God, and to be in public life, is marriage not a step backward? The married then move out of the city because it's "not safe enough for kids" and hide out in suburban homes, venturing out once a week for pizza and a movie. Is this really God's purpose being fulfilled?

5.) The time is short. This is more my take on why celibacy is good, and not Paul's. He explains that since the time is short, we should be as free as possible: those with wives, in despair, in happiness, in business...whatever you're into, don't let it hold you down (verses 29-31). And seeking a wife or husband takes a lot of time, time that we don't necessarily have. Think of all those first dates...all those hours of instant messenger or texting...all that money spent on gifts, tickets, and dinners. A better writer than I once detailed his single years. Every month, he'd meet an interesting woman: and every month, he'd spent time, money, and energy getting to know her, just in case she could be the one. He bewailed this effort, as do I. And think, my friend, of the emotional cost of searching; the blow to your heart, to your self-esteem, to your trust in and love for humanity when things go wrong. A bad dating experience can set one back for months and years. To me, this indeed is a worthy argument for celibacy. But overall, I'm not convinced that permanent celibacy is possible for most of us. Thoughts?

*I'm going to Los Angeles this month. I go about every two years for a convention. I think it's bittersweet because the last time I went, I was at a high point in my life. I now am going at a definite low point, but hoping to gain some spiritual and mental momentum to catch up on lost time.

*Everyone has that one picky friend who always finds reasons as to why this girl or that guy isn't good enough to date. I find myself wondering lately, is it worth an intervention? In my not so humble opinion, there are certain peak ages for dating. Watching a few of my male friends starting to slip out of their late twenties, discarding opportunities left and right...what are they waiting for? Do they even know?

*Church continues to frustrate. As I get older, I'm more impressed with the value of preaching. I learn a lot when I hear a wise man talk, and I feel like I desperately need that. But church fellowship is just difficult. When I was younger, I used to think quite little of those who left the church simply because they wanted more friends rather than ideological reasons. I kind of understand such a mindset now.

*Men, maybe you can help me out on this one. Is it possible to have just one woman in your life? I feel that inevitably, it's a quiet life for me for months and months followed by a sudden onrush of about umpteen women in two days. You're going to laugh, but I deliberately did not talk to a woman at a birthday party yesterday, even though she was an attractive librarian (I'm a reader, sue me). Of course, I wake up this morning, and the woman who ignored my date request a few weeks ago is now apologizing and claiming she meant to reply but forgot. I'm trying to be gracious, but obviously rather cynical...

*When is it gossip, and when are you warning a friend? We all know someone or other in the Xanga community who is a jerk. So when your friend friends her or starts spending a lot of time with her...should you say something? I've had multiple friends tell me that so-and-so stabbed them in the back. Just how many bodies have to pile up before it's time to stop giving him a chance to clean up his act?

*I'm becoming a bit of a soccer addict. Spent $130 on gear the other day, own season tickets to a local team, and am playing at least once a week. There's just something about the beautiful game...I think the passing is the draw, the way players weave in and out, hitting the right spots in time and then suddenly launching their bodies. I love patterns, and the way eleven players can sequence their rhythms enthralls me.

*I will be making my own announcement to support the Xanga fundraiser soon. I did already buy several memberships, so if you want to be part of the new Xanga but don't have $, please let me know and I can accommodate some of you. Of course, my friends come first, etc.

I interviewed my younger self* for this very informative take on how to deal with icky girls who have a crush on you. He was happy enough to provide details based on his past strategies for dealing with them:

1) When the two of you meet in public, make sure that others know you're not interested in her. Make fun of her a little, and be in a hurry. But don't be mean. That's very important. Just joke about her awkwardness. Or talk to her in an exaggerated voice. I'm sure the other kids who hear will get the right message when they see you going out of your way to interact with her like this. Or, go for the ironic non-response. For example, when she asks "What are you reading?" say "A book" and stare right through her. Obviously this won't at all intrigue her, as women are annoyed by emotionally unavailable men who can't connect with them.

2) Keep all interactions with her very light and ridiculous. Obviously, one should only be really serious and open if one really likes the girl. That's what women like! A deep man who shares himself so easily, because he wants the girl to know all about him. So if it's a woman you don't like, turn everything into a joke. Certainly no woman likes a guy who is always twisting what she says into a joke and making her laugh. Romance is SERIOUS BUSINESS.

3) If by accident you have a close moment with her, immediately withdraw. Maybe don't go to lunch in the same spot, or delete her off your AIM. This will give her time to forget that close incident happened. In fact, should you meet again, make sure to pretend as if nothing has changed. A little mild gaslighting and soon enough she'll realize that nothing has changed.

4) But of course, if she withdraws too much, you've obviously hurt her feelings and are being mean. You should never, ever be mean. Seek her out and be kind. It's not her fault that she likes you. It's just like getting a cold, she's stuck coughing and sniffling until she gets over it. Make her comfortable while she fights through this horrid virus of being interested in you. She'll be over it quickly, right? I'm sure she can't wait to be better. Then the two of you can just proceed to normal, polite interactions as if she were never ill.

5) In fact, you should reach out to her randomly, and then talk about nothing. Send her an email when you're bored, filled with nothing but banal updates on your life. Maybe a text at a random hour, which totally won't seem like you have her on your mind. She will just see it as a news update and not read into it at all. She knows you're just saying what you mean. You're straightforward like that. And fine, she did a really good job of complimenting you and saying that she likes nerdy guys? Give her credit. Send her a nice photo of you in your suit and glasses. Make sure that she still has confidence for the next guy she finds, that might actually like her. So you have to reward good effort, right?

Well there you have it, excellent advice from Young Greek. I'm sure by following these methods, some first debuted in junior high when awkward rumors were started about Young Greek possibly liking another girl in the class, you'll be fine. Joke was on them, I didn't even like girls then, I hadn't gone through puberty yet! But you can be sure that these methods will work in getting rid of unwanted girls who are interfering with you reading a book and totally don't seem like some sort of bizarro pickup attempts...

Wait a minute....

We are so done here.

*Younger being a relative term. Wince.

As discussed previously (Part I is here), the Corinthians were very open about sex. The brothels and temple prostitutes of Corinth were a huge draw for sailors and tourists to Corinth. Perhaps it's easiest to think of Corinth as Vegas or South Beach. The new Christians in Corinth naturally had to wonder, what was so bad about casual sex anyway? The poet Philemon (via Wikipedia) summed up the argument for legal prostitution as follows. We still see some of these arguments today:

"[Solon], seeing Athens full of young men, with both an instinctual compulsion, and a habit of straying in an inappropriate direction, bought women and established them in various places, equipped and common to all. The women stand naked that you not be deceived. Look at everything. Maybe you are not feeling well. You have some sort of pain. Why? The door is open. One obol (a unit of currency). Hop in. There is no coyness, no idle talk, nor does she snatch herself away. But straight away, as you wish, in whatever way you wish. You come out. Tell her to go to hell. She is a stranger to you."

Short version of this post, for those of you in a hurry: Paul argues that sex is much more addicting, controlling, and meaningful than the Corinthians thought, even though it just was sex with a prostitute. His second main argument is that the body is sacred ground, and thus, Christians are indefinitely in church; and would one have sex with a prostitute in church? HEY YOU IN THE COMMENT SECTION, THAT'S RHETORICAL! haha.

The other arguments for casual sex in Greek society for the Corinthian Christians seemed to be as follows.
(A) It was legal, and society did not disapprove of it.
(B) We need food to live, and the body is made for food. Don't we need sex to live, and isn't the body made for sex?
(C) The body isn't important, it's what is inside that counts. The body is merely a container for the soul and mind, so what does it matter who I have sex with?
(D) My sexual actions do not in any way affect my relationship with God.

The passage of I Corinthians 6 can be read here. Further commentaries that I used are ONE, TWO. Bear in mind that Paul is talking to Christians. This is not advice for everyone at all times, but for those who have entered into this particular belief and relationship with God.

Paul has five main arguments that he uses to disagree with the Corinthians. A few are on the nature of sex, while others are on the nature of our relationship to God. The sex arguments:
1) Sex overpowers our free will. He says that "All things are lawful to me, but I will not be brought under the power of any." Frank moment here: did you ever think you were the one in charge in a sexual relationship? only to find yourself whimpering and pleading as he/she walked out the door? We tend to think we are just fine, then we realize just what sex junkies we've become.
2) Sex always bonds two people together. I'm not going to break out photos from health textbooks here, figure it out. Paul bluntly said, "Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, “The two will become one flesh." He's saying, even when you just have a quick fling with a prostitute, you are creating the same type of union as you do when having sex with a spouse. There are no "levels of sex." Sex is sex is sex. Even when kept purely physical, that physical connection creates oneness.
3) Sex is a sin against self. Paul tells the Corinthians to flee sexual immorality. The only other sin I recall Paul telling us to flee is worshiping idols. What's the connection? My best guess is that any compromise in these areas soon escalates, because our own bodies betray us. Unlike some other areas, Paul doesn't talk about small amounts, or self-control, or fighting: only running away will save you. He then says that sex is a unique sin against one's own body. Why sex, and not, say, drinking or hurting oneself? I think the point is, those other sins are us participating in vice. But sex makes us one with vice, uniquely bonding us with a living person in that, connecting, not just using. I have to admit, I'm not 100% clear on Paul's logic here.

The relationship with God arguments seem to be as follows:
4) Our bodies are made for God and belong to him. Our body is also sacred, just as the soul is. Thus, having sex with non-Christians is basically giving what is God's to those who do not believe in him. An argument Paul does not get into is why it is bad for two Christians to have sex outside of marriage if neither is married. After all, aren't both members of Christ? So isn't their sexual bond permissible? Admittedly, a weak point that Paul neglects. But I think his focus is on dealing with the temptation of legal, secular prostitution first.
5) We are all connected to Christ and are a part of him. This is theologically complex, but in some sense we are all a part of Christ. We not only belong to Christ, we are an extension of Christ, without us being God. Thus, having bodies united with Christ, when the Corinthians had sex with a prostitute, they were essentially forcing Christ into the middle of that transaction. Paul raises the stakes further by saying that the Holy Spirit lives inside us, and that thus we are a temple, we are a church. Remember how you may have felt bad for wearing jeans to church, or going to church looking messy? Paul says, essentially, we are always in church because Christ is always in us, so we ourselves are a church building. Crazy to think about, right?

Final thoughts: I like a lot of Paul's argument, but there are two areas that I don't think Paul covers properly. What's wrong with two Christians having sex outside of marriage with each other? And what's wrong with sexual activity that doesn't involve bodily connection with another person? More on this later, perhaps.

Christians today often complain that the Bible is incomplete. We wish that the Bible talked more about some subjects. We wonder if the Bible reflects cultural biases when it talks about others. But sometimes, we may have overlooked the verses that do talk about the subject in question. I've always wanted to do a short series on I Corinthians Chapters 6-7, in which Paul talks frankly about sex, marriage, celibacy, and difficult partners. Read with me, if you wish.

In the end, I'm struck by the portrayal of the Corinthians, surrounded by sexual opportunity, just as we are today. Sure, the Corinthians didn't have electronic sexual opportunities, but neither do we have open prostitution offers while we're on our way to Starbucks in the morning. As a result, Paul wants sex in marriage to be a sort of fortress. Paul points out that Satan will always be tempting one to have sex, and that long abstention will make it easier to lose control and have sex outside of the marriage. (There's some interesting ramifications there for the single person, which I'll get into soon enough). Next time I'll explore Paul's response to those who said "Our bodies are made for sex, so why shouldn't we have sex with whomever?"

It's easy to see Kanye West's descent into self-centered hedonism as a societal vice. "The kids are repeating his lyrics!" "No child of mine would ever have be allowed to purchase...!" etc. And in the past, I'd just agree that one should ban and ignore such ramblings.

However, at times there's the uncomfortable truth that sinners (in other words, all of us) speak the truth because they know it best. When examined more carefully, by his description of his life, isn't Kanye showing his own wrongs and revealing the emptiness behind his lifestyle? There's an interesting debate to be had about whether artistic performances that showcase bad behavior also demonstrate its ultimate futility. If you had a child, would you rather shield them from hedonism or say "Look, here is what really happens: the man in full is bankrupted by the fire of his vanities (lupine* grin) and is left a husk of what he once was, screaming "I am Yeezus, I am Kanye West" long after the phrase ceases to stand for anything meaningful?"

*If you fully understand the wordplay in this sentence, have mah babies.