December 17, 2012

  • Doing Risky Things Smartly

    I was at a party this summer, and started talking to a woman who was going to move to Texas for a while to get to know a man she liked. They had been talking online for eight months. I'll pause here for the mix of "So sweet!" and "That's crazy!" comments to be uttered.

    At first, I was a bit concerned, and I asked her a few questions. But my concern turned to admiration, as she had done all the right things:

    1) Left at a good time to get relocated (early fall), so that she would only miss one semester of school:
    2) Found lodging arrangements that did not depend on her man, and did not require her signing a lease:
    3) Was open to all possibilities, from it failing entirely to her deciding she liked Dallas but not him to full relationship:
    4) Had known him long enough and well enough to eliminate the "He's obviously crazy" factor, although of course one can never be 100% sure.

    Her experience got me thinking. We'll all do a few risky things in our lives, make a few bad decisions. But if we can say we're doing them with a good and wise heart, it makes such a difference. Sometimes it's not what we do, it's how we do it. I ran into her again a few weeks ago...back in our town. It didn't work. But she smiled and told me she was glad she did it, and I smiled back. I didn't tell her I was proud of her, but I didn't need to.

Comments (18)

  • The conservative adventurist, I say... and claim to be. 

    maybe.  Heh.  Well, I was at one time.  Now?  Maybe too conservative. 

  • I think it's smart to take risk from time to time, and your story illustrates the difference between being adventurous and being reckless. Good post.

  • 8 months of online chatting and making the move, that is quite a feat! I suppose, most times in life, you just gotta take some risks here and there and if you fall, you just have to pick yourself up and learn from the bad decision..

  • I take risks all the time. Most of them are smart too.

    Like that time...

    Ok, bad example, but that other time that I...

    Hmm.

    I might need to rethink this.

  • @Under_the_Ghillie - Yes but you leave your women satisfied mr bad to the bone.

  • um... #awkward

  • Hmm I'd like to think I'm the master of doing risky things smartly ;) LOL.
    But that woman made a very bold move to move out there. She must've been head over heels for him. Too bad it didn't work out, it was still a good experience for her it seems.

  • Moving to Dallas is always a good decision... for everyone!

  • That is the good way to go about it. 

  • Very nice. I respect this gal. She took a risk but also had it well planned out. I give her props and I respect her for trying. :)

  • This reminds me of my sister. She left a great job (and house and mortgage) in Atlanta, knowing that the job would not be there when she got back, to take a summer's work riding horses at a ranch in Wyoming. She ended up falling from a horse and breaking her back. When she returned to Atlanta, she had a rough couple of months looking for a new position, but ended up finding one that paid more and was more enjoyable than she had had previously. Her back healed. I know she remembers that time at the ranch as a very happy summer.

  • Smart. I did the same awhile back. It worked and then didn't for the same reasons normal relations don't work out. I like how you have put several important points in the way that you did.

  • I used to feel this way about Los Angeles, like I should have thought twice.... but since then....I have no regrets about my 'jump in, feet first'

    Now, I'm pretty conservative about my next move....

  • I usually regret the chances I didn't take more than the ones I did that failed

    good for your friend for taking a chance :)

  • @light_blue_fables - That's nothing one good adventure won't fix! But yeah, reading your online dating efforts, does seem like you're struggling with letting loose. Maybe you're older and wiser, as well, and know the cost of adventure.
    @amateurprose - Thanks!
    @mellywelly15 - Yes, but the key is to make smart bad decisions, haha.
    @Under_the_Ghillie - Heh. You'll learn to add intelligence to adventure, but yeah, it's less fun that way :p
    @endlesslysummer - She did seem rather charmed, ha.
    @caroliiineee - haha! Ok, I've packed my bags for Dallas. I'm convinced!
    @SlackerSociety - Agreed.
    @thisishowifindmyself - Exactly, I was quite impressed.
    @Naseni - Thanks! I appreciate the compliment.
    @Aunt_Becca - Aww, that does sound like your sister, it was clever of her to do so.
    @escaping_logic - Good to see your comment, Linda. :)
    @steph843 - Thanks Steph! I thought it was cool too.

  • @GreekPhysique - When it concerns matters of the heart (especially in dating), I am not so adventurous... and am actually substantially more risk averse.  My conservative drive for adventure is usually in the form of experiences, careers and exploring. 

  • @Under_the_Ghillie - I have to agree.

  • Good on her. It's nice to hear about folks who think carefully about things before they commit.

    Calculated risks. If they're worth it, then proceed. With caution.

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