December 15, 2022

• Achievements and Permanence

  One of the moments I get most excited about is when a student knows they are going to graduate. They will soon lose the diploma itself, or misplace it on their move. But the achievement itself cannot be reversed. No one can take away that accomplishment from them, and it will be written down in the college registrar's office. Or take a team that wins their conference title. It may be a down year for the conference, but someone had to finish first, and they did.

  However, the fact is there are indeed achievements that can be taken back. One's best workout body is now just seen in old photos, and is gone. Your current body gives you no real credit for being able to dunk a basketball (ok, ok, I never could, shh let me dream here) a few years ago. Or take one's successful start to a job: one can still be laid off or fired after years of good performance and wise choices. And don't get me started on the way divorce makes the entire timeline of a marriage seem like a failure, when in reality things may have been relatively decent until the marriage's sudden end.

  I think my problem of late has been that I am hyper-sensitive to the impermanence of certain achievements. I know that I can be let go from jobs where I excelled for some period of time, and I know that I may be blocked by those who were once close friends and mutual confidantes. So it colors the victory of the moment: if I were an 18th century Hawthorne character, I'd be muttering something about the burning of the grass of the field. But I realize that part of the joy of being a human is indeed the surprise factor, the fragility of our victory. We celebrate with the player who successfully dunks or scores partly because of the implausibility of it all. It's a small miracle when any two of us can create a strong bond, let alone a marriage and family, is it not? So I will try to make peace with the impermanent.

  • 11:28 pm
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