I was at a party this summer, and started talking to a woman who was going to move to Texas for a while to get to know a man she liked. They had been talking online for eight months. I'll pause here for the mix of "So sweet!" and "That's crazy!" comments to be uttered.

At first, I was a bit concerned, and I asked her a few questions. But my concern turned to admiration, as she had done all the right things:

1) Left at a good time to get relocated (early fall), so that she would only miss one semester of school:
2) Found lodging arrangements that did not depend on her man, and did not require her signing a lease:
3) Was open to all possibilities, from it failing entirely to her deciding she liked Dallas but not him to full relationship:
4) Had known him long enough and well enough to eliminate the "He's obviously crazy" factor, although of course one can never be 100% sure.

Her experience got me thinking. We'll all do a few risky things in our lives, make a few bad decisions. But if we can say we're doing them with a good and wise heart, it makes such a difference. Sometimes it's not what we do, it's how we do it. I ran into her again a few weeks ago...back in our town. It didn't work. But she smiled and told me she was glad she did it, and I smiled back. I didn't tell her I was proud of her, but I didn't need to.

"Follow for follow!" the teen writes on the social networking site. We older folk laugh a little, amused that the teen seems to be striking a deal. Just subscribe already, and let the other person make up their mind if they want to subscribe to you or not! Don't be so needy!
Except...I had an embarrassing moment the other day when I found myself posting a comment to someone's blog. I suddenly realized...I don't believe that person has ever left me a comment. A search of my email confirmed my suspicion. Yet I've probably left them 10 comments or so. How awkward and foolish of me, right? To be expending my energy on a one-way connection, perhaps even annoying the other person. I could instead be expending that energy on someone who needed and appreciated it, and who reciprocated my effort. Honestly, I am going to be cleaning up my subscription and friends list shortly as a result. I was a little embarrassed.
I know, this post and the last post are a little odd. But I want to say that before we rush to judge a child too quickly, let's look more closely. Jesus once said "I praise you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, because you have hidden these things from the wise and learned, and revealed them to little children." It's always good to have some doubt as to the wisdom of our age group, and look to those younger and older for additional understanding.

So there was a little faux outrage this year about pre-teen and teen girls making "Am I pretty or not" videos on Youtube. Some of this was good outrage. Such videos unfortunately give creeps a lot of encouragement. But some of this was wrong, because let's face it, Xanga: Prettiness is Power.

I found an interesting article showing that personality traits tend to group by region in the USA:
For example, New Yorkers tend to be more creative, imaginative, and intellectual, while Louisiana folk tend to be friendly but stressed. The article, plus some blogs by @SpAnKyLiCiOuS ,made me wonder further: to what extent is my personality shaped by having Greek parents? This is the part where I tell you that this is a very self-focused blog, and feel free to exit now before you fall asleep.

The Greek Quiz, via Marrying a Greek , This is My Happy Place, and the classic business book Kiss, Bow, or Shake Hands: Count how many "Yes" answers you have.
1) Greeks are open to discussing nearly anything but find it difficult to change positions.
2) Greeks process information subjectively.
3) Interpersonal relationships have a big impact on decisions.
4) Reject objective facts if they interfere with subjective feelings or ideologies.
5) Friendships are deep and carry obligations.
6) Greeks prefer to avoid uncertainty and embed themselves in social structures.
7) Greeks are both hardworking and laidback, thus much activity but slow progress.
8) Failures are often blamed on outside forces.
9) Machismo is very strong.
10) Greek people tend to be gesture often not only with hands and heads but eyes and lips.
11) Greeks often fidget or foot-tap, but this does not necessarily indicate boredom.
12) Anger is sometimes expressed by a smile.
13) Greeks are very generous.
14) Greeks interpret things dramatically. "When things are good, the drama and enthusiasm he displays are infectious and enjoyable. However, when things do not go well in his life, everything is exaggerated and he seems to have little ability to control his mood or see things logically."
15) When things improve, Greeks forget the bad times quickly.
16) Greek men never truly leave their mothers.
17) Greek are spontaneous and take risks.
18) Greeks can talk about ancient events as if they just occurred: very historical and nostalgic.
19) Greeks use abstract, poetic speech.
20) Greeks love arguments.
21) Greeks can seem aloof.
22) Greeks tend to be very uncomfortable around the frigidity of northern/western Europeans and some Americans.
23) Greeks are night owls.
24) Greeks are very curious and want to know everything.
25) Greeks are bad tippers.
26) Greeks are competitive despite their laid-back appearance.
27) Greeks care a lot about their personal reputation and honor.
28) Greeks can be self-critical and easily engage in self-mockery.
29) Greeks love to mock politicians and the failures of society.
30) Greeks are distrustful.
31) Greeks want to know everything about you in every area.
32) Greeks are outgoing, extroverted and even communal in lifestyle.
33) The bad side of Greeks is their deviousness, obstinance, and selfishness.
34) The good side of Greeks is their nobility, courage, and creativity.
35) Greeks like being well-dressed and having a lot of color and/or makeup in their personal style. Individualized style is important.
36) If you ignore a Greek person's advice or comment, they will be hurt, but will not necessarily confront on the spot. They will remember, though, and snub you when you want something from them.
37) Physical affection and warmth, demonstrated publicly, is a Greek style, as is anger in public. Greek men and women will often hold their same-gender friends' hand in the street.
38) Loyalty is critical.
39) Hospitality is important.
40) Food is important to the Greek, as is cooking.
*) Greeks are people of contradictions, yet this does not seem to bother them, and they appreciate the tension.

My Greek score is quite high. I find it fascinating how much of my personality seems to be tied directly to my nationality even though I have never lived in Greece. What's your score? Do you fit the stereotypes for your nationality? I also wonder to what extent my close friends fit those traits, or if I tend to befriend those who are different than myself.

Oh fine. @LKJSlain

Your Xanga name and meaning- GreekPhysique, it's a nickname I got around 19? because I was clumsy at basketball, but had one really good game. This one good player teased me with the nickname: it's a good-natured half compliment, half insult. I've always seen it that way myself: it's about having moments of brilliance interspersed with long stretches of ineptitude, but not giving up.

How long you've been here- Since 2004, my brothers dragged me on here. I somehow stayed.

Do you have more than one account- Yes. One for more private matters, but it's kind of defunct.

How many times have you changed your name- 0.

Name and tag 10 people that keep you here and why, not just bloggers that you like to read/etc, but people who really and truly MEAN something to you (no, it doesn't have to be limited to 10, but let's start there). Tell us what they've done for you, how they've inspired you, how they've been a friend/cheered you up, say something nice about them. 

This is always a tough exercise, but here goes, in no particular order: I probably forgot plenty of people, this is more based on who is on Xanga a lot right now.

1.  @fairiesmythsdragons One of my most faithful Xanga buddies, and I love how we have each other's backs.

2.  @Such_are_you A thoughtful, passionate man, I love his mix of caring for his friends and also being aggressive to defend the truth.

3.  @lanney She has a huge heart for other people, and she's too hard on herself, just like me. Lanney, I think we squabble at times because we are similar enough that we recognize each other's mistakes, but I appreciate you.

4.  @QuantumStorm I've worked on growing my guy friendships on Xanga, and Quant is a favorite. I do pick on him at times, but I only do that to people who I respect and care about.

5.  @galadrielspitcher So so silly, she and her cat Joy always lift my spirits. Thanks for being so lighthearted, Rachel!

6. @oxlorixo This is what I mean by saying "This list is not in order." The Xangan I text the most, by a wide, wide margin, Lori makes me smile. She doesn't blog enough, ahem. I love how we're able to talk about serious topics, then nerdy topics, then fun and silly topics. I went out of my way to befriend her, and I'm so glad I did.

7. @endlesslysummer Parmmmmmm. Ha, that's not her name, but I call her that anyway at times. Such thoughtful comments, and I love how she's blossoming as a person. We always have such meaningful chats, the few times we chat.

8. @lovejennyy I'm too protective at times, a dear friend of mine indeed.

9. @Spankylicious Love her blogs about crazy NY people and her parents and how she understands Greeks. Always entertaining reading.

10. @jennz_08 Super funny, and I miss her blogs now that she is in the military. Xanga comes first, Jenn!

If you ever leave, will you say goodbye first-No, if I'm upset enough to leave, I won't.

Do you have any xanga crushes- Eh. I try not to. But usually I have a few anyway. I love good writing, so Xanga is a huge trap for me.

Are there people on xanga that you actively avoid- Yes, that's why they are blocked or I don't visit their site anymore. Usually it's for treating a friend badly or being creepy.

Do you troll-(if yes) Are you good at it- Every so often, but usually just on my friends to make a point. Quant is particularly a fun target.

Has the community been there for you in times of trouble/pain- Usually not, but that's because I'm a guy. Society isn't that good at comforting guys in general.

Mumble mumble. This rant is about as well-organized, as, well, my hair.  

An intriguing response to the reasons for male promiscuity : I am too lazy to write my own post, but I think a lot of what he said is quite true. Although I'm a little amused at the idea that men would use sex to get love and acceptance: my impression was that was more a feminine trait?

"As I guy I think a huge part of the hunt for sex is the need for approval and acceptance by the opposite sex. It's really the only socially sanctioned outlet for men to get this approval.
Most of male culture is about destroying the self to submit to the team (best seen in sports) and to not provoke other, stronger men into seeing you as a threat, lest they want to hurt you. By the time they are adults, many men don't feel comfortable discussing their inner selves (emotions, reactions, etc.) as they are constantly asked to ignore and sublimate those feelings so that no one becomes jealous or threatened. Men are asked not to be emotional ('real men don't cry' is a common phrase) as there is a general sense that men's emotions aren't important or worth exploring. Men remind each other all the time that no one cares how one really feels, so its best not to bring up these feelings. Men who are sad and have low self-esteem, and can't 'buck up' and shut up, are not rewarded in this scenario- they are seen as 'desperate' and as losers, really, which in a social sense, they are.
So, back to chasing women and sex, it is the best socially sanctioned way to allow one's self to be strong and happy. Men are asked to do things to get approval, and through doing things, and succeeding, they are able to get their 'reward' of being confident and therefore being attractive to the opposite sex. It is only then that a man's emotions might be valued or validated.
Personally, I'd be just as happy if there as much importance put on actually voicing men's emotions and fears, instead of being asked to shut up and do something productive so that a man is valued for existing and not producing.
Ah, we all have it tough. No one wants to hear it anyway."

Cut-Paste = 5 minute post.

Being trained in Economics (among other things), I tend to use many of the constructs of that field in making my decisions. I tend to have a sharp eye for risk, and thus often settle for the safer choice. Choose the cheaper in-state school over the private school: choose the steady job over the uncertain contract.

My friendships and romantic relationships also exhibit similar thinking at times. After all, aren't we told to befriend that person who is standing alone? And Christian guys, how often have you heard "Stop being so picky waiting for Miss Perfect and date so-and-so. She's nice!" So then, why not date someone a little beneath you: maybe they are interesting but rather unattractive, or rather boring but cute. It's kind of you! It shows open-minded thinking! They could be a diamond in the rough, just needing a chance and...

But hold up, before we go too far. The problem is twofold. First, you don't necessarily put your full effort into the safe choice. Sure, one might want to get a degree from State U, but if it was a degree from Yale, you'd be even more excited. Sure, one might want to get married, but if the woman you are pursuing is a beauty queen, all the more enthusiasm, right?

But even worse is the tragicomic moment where you are rejected by your safer choice, the fox in the henhouse stuck scrabbling in the straw after eggs because it's too slow to catch even the fattest hen. That boring girl who you tried to amuse at a series of increasingly bland lunches tells you that it isn't working out. That safe job lets you go because you aren't as gung-ho about wearing your flair as the other corporate drones. Do you know how much it burns to fail at mediocrity? I want to scream "I WAS SLUMMING, YOU BLAND BORE, THIS WAS AN ACT OF CHARITY" but of course, sour grapes cause acid reflux when you vomit them out of your mouth at the mediocre. At least when you fail at a noble cause, you can console yourself that "Well, that one time Miss America laughed at my jokes and seemed intrigued" or "Hey, plenty of kids fail out of Harvard, I'll just go to that state school." When you fail at mediocrity, that makes you below mediocre, and you are left to shake your head and wonder why you didn't aim a little higher. Fine, the homeless don't like your soup, and there you are, in your drab volunteer apron, realizing the thirsty sailor won't even buy beer off you. Makes one want to take a baseball bat and roam the countryside breaking splinter on splinter until finally the bat shatters and you're left with nothing in your hands but a broken nub.

Via @Ancient_Scribe . I didn't do a great job of it, but I respect him and wanted to do it.

What do you consider your first spiritual experience to be?
When I was two years old, we had a relative in Boston. My mom had talked to her some and witnessed to her. One day I said "Alecka is ill" and my parents thought it was odd, so they called her up, and she was indeed very sick.

What is the most religious thing you’ve ever worn in public?

Various corny Christian t-shirts: I think I once participated in a Christian march in my hometown as well. 

What is the kindest act you’ve ever done for someone?      

I gave someone a rather large sum of money because I thought it was a serious enough situation that it was needed.                                                                                                            

What is your favorite story from the Gospel or a religious movie? Probably when the Gentile woman talks Jesus into healing her daughter. I love all the parts where Jesus has interesting conversations with people.

Have you ever prayed with someone from a different religion?                                                                                                                               Not quite, although I've talked to devout Mormons and Muslims a fair amount here and there.

Have you ever prayed in a public place?
Yes, as part of See You at the Pole. In college, this one fellow and I used to meet for outdoor prayer. It was incredible, honestly, strong feelings that God was right there with us. Eventually it stopped happening, and I kind of sadly wonder why we stopped. It was a very moving experience.

Have you ever participated in a religious service other than your own?

Catholic, Greek Orthodox and Baptist, I suppose, but those are just different varieties of the Christian faith.

Have you ever gone outside your spiritual comfort zone in order to move closer to God?       

Yes, I've tried to lower my tendency to rely on stone cold logic and my own biases to approach God in more emotional ways. It's not easy, but I've seen some rewards from it and am still trying to work on it. Prayer is still difficult, though.                                                         

Are you in a good relationship with God right now? 

It's been tough ever since I moved here. I feel like a lot of the positive influences in my life keep moving away, and this is the first time that I've not felt comfortable in any church that I attended. God is still around when I need him, but I feel like I've neglected him, to be honest.

What do think God’s wish is for you?   
To serve others and himself, and to be willing to go where he leads.

Whose desires come first in your life: yours or God's?

At the end of the day, I still find that my faith in God has a major effect on what I do. I'm still quite selfish, though.

Do you struggle with selfishness? What helps you overcome this?

Hugely. For me it more takes the form of self-pity. It's important for me to give of what I have and to invest in others. But it also helps when I feel I'm part of something greater than myself. And when I am working and truly accomplishing things that matter. I find that when I feel I am fulfilling God's purpose, I am more willing to give things up.

Do you struggle with false or empty relationships that distract you from your relationship with God? What relationships help you stay close to God?

Yes, I think relationships that promise quick intimacy, friendship or easy fulfillment without investment are a temptation. Loneliness often seems to be the only choice rather than bad relationships, which means a lot of inner tension. This is why I value Christian friends so much, and why a shortage of Christian friendship can be so destabilizing for a Christian. I also need some friendships where I'm allowed to be the "weak one" if you will. I also think it helps when I'm in a relationship with someone who values truth. Some of my atheist/agnostic friends are precious to me because although they do not share my ideals, they do have ideals: make sense?

When you pray, what is your image of God? What do you think of?

I think of clouds and blue sky. MOST BORING GOD IMAGE EVER. Ha, I'll be honest, I have real trouble visualizing God. I tend to see him as a perfect computer...which (NERD WARNING) is actually quite the compliment, but still creepy, I know. I never could connect with the happy wide-armed Jesus. Just not my thing, you know?

What is on your “spiritual bucket list?”

Increasing my discernment so I can know the present and future better, re-memorize some books of the Bible, become a skilled preacher (I can preach but it's so-so quality), and improve my counseling abilities.